<li>I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of *****.</li>
<li>I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.</li>
<li>How about never? Is never good for you?</li>
<li>I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.</li>
<li>I’m really easy to get along with - once you people learn to see it My way.</li>
<li>I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.</li>
<li>I’m out of my mind, but please feel free to leave a message.</li>
<li>I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.</li>
<li>It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a damn word you’re saying.</li>
<li>Ahhh… I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.</li>
<li>I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.</li>
<li>You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.</li>
<li>I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn.</li>
<li>I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.</li>
<li>I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.</li>
<li>Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.</li>
<li>The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.</li>
<li>Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.</li>
<li>What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!?</li>
<li>I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.</li>
<li>It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of karma to burn off.</li>
<li>Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.</li>
<li>And your crybaby, whiny-assed opinion would be?</li>
<li>Do I look like a people person?</li>
<li>This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.</li>
<li>I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.</li>
<li>Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.</li>
<li>If I throw a stick, will you leave?</li>
<li>Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.</li>
<li>Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.</li>
<li>I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.</li>
<li>A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.</li>
<li>Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?</li>
<li>Too many freaks, not enough circuses.</li>
<li>Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?</li>
<li>Chaos, panic, and disorder… my work here is done.</li>
<li>How do I set a laser printer to stun?</li>
<li>I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a salary.</li>
<li>Oh I get it… like humor… but different</li>
</ol>
<p>I love this list! But why doesn’t it have the number one thing I’d like to say at work but at the moment can’t:</p>
<p>“I quit!”</p>
<p>Fantastic. </p>
<p>I love this one: *
25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.*</p>
<p>I’ve said number 1</p>
<p>As a school nurse, I have numerous teachers who think I’m there for for anything nasty, not just medical stuff. One year, a teacher decided to take her class out to play on the muddy playground. Afterward, she sent two children to me because their shoes were covered in mud. I sent them right back to her classroom with this message:</p>
<p>“I deal in blood, not mud” She got the message - if she was stupid enough to let them play in the mud, she’s the one who needed to resolve the mud issue. Number six is my favorite, I think.</p>
<p>Emeraldkity,
Thanks for the laugh - I can’t say which one is my favorite but I do have a New Yorker Cartoon of #3 pinned to my bulletin board.</p>
<p>I have said 1, 2, 6, 9, 18 and 36. Maybe this is why I am in search of yet ANOTHER sh-tty lawyer job so I can afford my kids!</p>
<p>MOWC, I totally understand how you feel because I have said more than a few of them myself.</p>
<p>My faves:</p>
<p>“I must have really pi**ed someone off in a past life because I 'm still trying to figure out when is God going to deliver me from stupid people. I keep praying but it hasn’t happened yet”</p>
<p>This is just the job that they gave me while I am on the work release program.</p>
<p>God created the Parents Forum so we could say all of these things with impunity.</p>
<p>Driver,</p>
<p>So I will take solace in being here until I am delivered from the stupid people :)</p>
<p>
Can I use this if I’m a stay at home mom? </p>
<p>(One who just spent an hour and a half with grouchy 16 year old clearing what looks like 2 feet of snow from the driveway – while H is on business trip to California and is spending day at the beach eating fish tacos!!!)</p>
<p>of course you can</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>These are the moments that actually get you chomping at the bit wondering when are they leaving to go to college? </p>
<p>If you have to clear 2 feet of snow, the last thing you need is someone else’s attitude to top the one they already have.</p>
<p>Sybbie, it makes all of those early admissions options look interesting!!!</p>
<p>something I’d love to say to my boss: “the day you actually do my job is the day you can tell me how to do it”. I never trusted bosses who can’t and won’t do the job of the people they are bossing.</p>
<p>Why I love working for myself :). Although come to think of it, I could say some of those things to myself and be absolutely right.</p>
<p>I also work for myself and W is fond of saying that my boss is a real jerk.</p>
<p>H is too scared of me to say that (out loud) :D</p>
<p>
Lol, ek. :D</p>