So today I faced reality and realized I will be launching my kid into the world in just 46 days! She received a research fellowship so heads off to her college a few months early for me and for her.
What are some things you wish you did more of in those last 50 days?
What are some things you wish you did less of in the last 50 days?
What are some lessons you worried you forgot to give them?
What are some ways you prepared younger siblings for the transition?
The things I am happiest I did with my kids before they went off to college was just spending that time together. From mundane things like shopping for college to grabbing a lunch out just the two of us all of the time is special. I tried (I think mostly successfully) to NOT use that last month together to preach, give rules etc. but rather trusted that the lessons they grew up with over the last 18 or so years had (more or less) sunk in. What I tried to do instead was fill them with a combination of confidence and support – that going away to college is a step they are well prepared to take but that I will be always around and available to talk to when they hit those inevitable bumps in their road.
As for how I dealt with it – I would think back to when I started college and how ready I felt for the experience and that reminded me that I had to give them some space to grow, learn, and make their own mistakes. It is also important that the kids know you are happy/proud about them going off to college so they can leave without guilt.
One thing we did in advance was to agree to speak on the phone weekly. I like to hear their voices and for me texting etc. just doesn’t do it.
Wish I did less? Nag . . . . . Wish I did more? Just relax and enjoy being with them.
In terms of logistics, we made copies of drivers license, passport, and other important documents they took with them. Also had them complete waivers/consent for health care etc. Added them to a secondary credit card for emergency purposes – used a secondary card rather than my every day credit card, since if they lost their wallet etc., I didn’t have to deal with cancelling my regular card. Checked with car insurance about discounts for kid being further away without a car. Checked on filling prescriptions out of state. Started hoarding Bed Bath and Beyond coupons.
During the last semester, I cut back on some of my activities to be around more. Try to do more things/make memories, but understand that they will be wanting to spend time with friends. I would try to do a family vacation if possible just to have family time. Like above poster said…try not to preach too much…give a lesson here or there…then stop.
Make sure they know how to do things like:
Change the sheets on their bed
Use an ATM
Write a check
Order their medications (if any)
Address/stamp a letter
Wash their clothes
Also know how you are going to handle incidentals…
I pay for books, medications, travel home (and room and board). Anything else is on them.
How will you get them emergency money if necessary?
Talk about how you will communicate/how often…with my oldest, she is not a natural texty kind of person so we started with the weekly call. The youngest always sends me little funny videos and the like so it is more organic.
For the youngest, she felt a bit weird when the only child left. We got an exchange student the next year though.
Best thing I ever did was make sure we all had Iphones so that we can FaceTime. My daughter is in Chicago and we FT every day (she graduated in 2017 and is now working).
Just relax a little and start stockpiling the last prosaic family moments with DD as one of the kids. We did more dumb game nights, took a family vacation that summer, and generally just hung out more. And Dear God, don’t worry about the siblings for a minute. As I was driving DD across the country to school that August, well before we reached her new home, she got a text from her heart-broken brother showing the new paint job he’d finished in her old room. Yeah, they heal quickly at that age and they all have social media to stay in touch, so you’re probably in deeper weeds than that generation.
Also, DD came home that first summer, but it’s only sophomore year and she’s already let us know she won’t be home much this time. Zoom! It’s probably even worse than you imagine, but I’ve found it comforting to remember how little I thought of my parents as I ricocheted through school. Your DD sounds like a go-getter with options in front of her and a solid foundation under her feet. Just watch her soar and take some joy from her flight.
Financial stuff - I got an extra credit card in their name for emergencies and things cleared in advance and set up an account at a bank that had an ATM on campus or where they got ATM fees reimbursed.
Buying stuff - Compiled a list of things they would need for college together and shopped. My D wanted to come on every shopping trip, my S was more than happy to let me pick up some of the mundane things (ex. storage boxes etc.) without him. And yes, BB&B coupons LOL!
Other - both of my kids knew how to do laundry but if not a lesson is in order (my kids generally throw most things in together and use colorcatchers which seem to work very well).
Getting started - I think both kids got their first semester books at the bookstore and after than started shopping around more with Amazon and other sources.
for me and 
for her.