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<p>Oh, my heck, NO!!</p>
<p>My cousin was killed in 1971 with 3 of her friends in a car-train accident. They were going back to school after lunch, and they passed one car to go around the gates. The trains going through town were known to be very long, and they didn’t want to be late getting back to school. </p>
<p>My cousin wasn’t driving, and I doubt she had a chance to say anything to the driver as he made the decision to drive around the gates. I think it was the split second decision of a young, inexperienced driver who would have never risked his friends’ lives if he had thought out his decision.</p>
<p>My aunt was a nurse at the hospital receiving the four victims. My aunt never fully recovered after witnessing the aftermath.</p>
<p>As a result, I have always stressed to my kids that I would rather them be late to class (or whatever) than to risk their lives.</p>
<p>I can’t count how many times I have stopped myself right before saying “hurry, you’ll be late” as my D ran around getting ready to leave. It always catches my attention when she comments about running late and I quickly tell her - doesn’t matter, get there late, take your time. I can imagine how terrible this mother felt - even though it seems clear from the story that it is unlikely what the mom wanted had anything to do with what the kids did.</p>
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I didn’t read that article. But I live in Michigan and it’s been on the news constantly since yesterday. I can’t fault the mother because sometimes no matter how hard you try, kids do dumb things. But if I had to choose between letting my daughter date an older boy who goes to her school, and get into a car with someone whose license was just suspended, I would choose the older boyfriend.</p>
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I would be more than upset and I would hope something more was done than just talk to her. Endangering the welfare of a child, maybe?</p>
<p>When he was in grad school, my husband’s grandmother died in a similar accident. She was the driver. Hard to believe that a mature woman would do something that thoughtless.</p>
<p>I have been at rural crossings where the gate comes down for no apparent reason–it’s broken, or there is a freight train stopped inconveniently on the sensor. After waiting for 10-15 minutes for something to happen, you look CAREFULLY both ways, and go around the gate.</p>
<p>Trouble is, people get in the habit of just going around without waiting or looking.</p>
<p>There is a surveillance video of the scene. You can’t see the impact but you can see the car go around another stopped car and the train speeding by seconds later. The guy driving the kids did not hesitate - barreled around a stopped car right into the train. I’ll be surprised if drugs and/or alcohol are not involved.</p>
<p>I just heard that on the news. SO sad that the driver didn’t use common sense.</p>
<p>3bm103 posted:
“But if I had to choose between letting my daughter date an older boy who goes to her school, and get into a car with someone whose license was just suspended, I would choose the older boyfriend.”</p>
<p>But you don’t have to choose. That is a false dichotomy. Neither of those is safe. A fourteen-year old girl riding around with four way older boys (none of which is a brother or is related to her) is also dangerous for many reasons. Many car accidents happen when a group of young people ride together in a car. The judgment of the young driver, which may not be the best already, can be affected when s/he is distracted by so many other people or is urged to do something dangerous.</p>
<p>There was a girl with whom I went all the way through elementary and middle school who was killed at age 14 in the summer before she started high school. She was not killed at a railroad crossing, but was in a car full of older boys when a terrible accident occurred. I will always remember that the obituary said that she died of “massive internal injuries.” This was before the time of constant medical shows on TV, and I was confused and scared by that phrase and didn’t know why or how those injuries took her life. I remember asking my mom, who didn’t really want to talk about it.</p>
<p>I am not blaming the mom in the story for the death of her daughter, but I would never let a 14 year old girl of mine either have a boyfriend 18 or older or ride around in a car full of older boys. I think both are terribly dangerous.</p>
<p>It’s a tragedy and my heart hurts for the families of these young people. Often the victims are not blameless in what occurs in these types of things, but it is sad nonetheless.</p>
<p>As for a suspended license, I don’t know how any of us can know whose license is suspended in most cases. We pretty much take a person at his word that he has a valid driver’s license if he is driving. Also the young girl could be nearly fifteen, and the boyfriend possibly just turned 18.</p>
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<p>Oh. My. God.</p>
<p>I really, really can’t believe that she did such a thing. I hope that no one ever let her drive their kid anywhere again.</p>
<p>I had a friend who died at 14. She was walking home from the movies at night with another girl. The driver was 18 and hit her. He did not stop. He eventually was arrested. He said he didn’t realize he hit somebody, he said he thought he hit a cat. Granted Helen was tiny (5 ft and 100 lbs), but there was no way you could confuse her for a cat. SHe was thrown 30 ft and died instantly.</p>
<p>My son is a young locomotive engineer in the Northeast and has already had to live through a very serious incident. He had been forewarned by some more seasoned engineers that it wasn’t a question of “if”, but “when”. These accidents are all too common and always unnecessary . The train crews are really the innocent victims. There is an organization called Operation Life Saver (OLS) which educates the public about safety around tracks and at crossings. I would encourage the parents of teen drivers to request their child’s school administrators to invite this group to make a presentation at their school. And be sure you also have the conversation about respecting railroad crossing signals with the young drivers in your family. I never forgot my father’s admonition:“if it’s a tie at the crossing, you lose!”</p>
<p>RIP.
My parenting wisdom tells me to show an article like that to my kids every time I run across one…</p>
<p>“The train crews are really the innocent victims.”</p>
<p>Agreed. Education about these issues is great, and I wholeheartedly support it, but in the end, you can’t make a decision for someone, and even someone who knows better will occasionally so something stupid.</p>
<p>Here’s more updates:</p>
<p>The driver of the Ford Fusion had a suspended license. He racked up several tickets for poor driving. His mother claimed she didn’t know about the suspension, yet other family members knew about it. She lent him her car so that he wouldn’t be late to work. ::shakes my head::</p>
<p>[See</a> footage of fatal car-train crash | Freep.com | Detroit Free Press](<a href=“http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090710/NEWS02/90710019]See”>http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090710/NEWS02/90710019)</p>
<p>[Amtrak:</a> Rail crossing gates were down | Freep.com | Detroit Free Press](<a href=“http://www.freep.com/article/20090711/NEWS02/307110002]Amtrak:”>http://www.freep.com/article/20090711/NEWS02/307110002)</p>
<p>The mother basically initiated the death wish to her son, who repeatedly disobeyed the law.</p>
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<p>His guardian angel was there to protect and hold him back. The lesson learned here is stay away from people who are a danger to themselves. They will take you down with them.</p>
<p>So so so sad. I always think of my friends when I read stories like this and hope that none of them would make a choice like that.</p>
<p>The whole time I was growing up, and especially once I started driving, every time I would leave the house my mom would yell after me to “make wise choices!”. Now when I’m away at college, every time I leave the house I can hear her yelling “Make wise choices!” in the back of my head.</p>
<p>We don’t have many RR crossings in the area, but I did get ticked off on my driving test for being “too cautious”. Driving still scares me a little bit, and I’ve been driving for 3 years in November.</p>
<p>One of my best friends is very similar to me…she wouldn’t drive on her own for the first several months after she got her license, and she didn’t drive on the freeway by herself until almost a full year after she got her license. We’re both a little paranoid…I didn’t drive on the freeway at all until almost 2 years after I got my license.</p>
<p>I am still scared of driving, though of course I drive. I think that anyone with sense is scared of driving because of the danger that power brings with it.</p>
<p>I actually love driving, and I thank my father for teaching me proper driving etiquette and allowing me to pass the test flawlessly. In my eight years, I’ve never been in any accidents or received speeding tickets (My average commute is 80-90 miles/day). I would rather drive safely and practice common sense than risk the lives of four other people with reckless decisions and poor driving. This boy clearly thought he was above the law and had no consideration for his passengers. And people wonder why insurance premiums are higher among male than female drivers under 25. He just became another drivers’ ed textbook example.</p>
<p>It’s easy to point fingers and assign blame. The painful reality is that a lapse in judgment, one poor decision can result in death. Sometimes you get a second chance, and sometimes you don’t. Safe, careful defensive driving is a good thing, but it does not guarantee your safety.</p>