<p>This is so tragic. The mother blames herself for the loss of her daughter, when it wasn’t her fault. The train gates are down for a reason – a fast-moving train is approaching, and you sit there until the train has passed through. You don’t drive around the gate trying to beat death. ::shakes my head::</p>
<p>5 teens are dead now, and their families are grieving.</p>
<p>Very sad, I wish them peace. Off topic a little bit, but why is she allowing her 14 yr old daughter to be dating either an 18, 19 or 21? When I first read that she was 14 and immediately thought oh they must be step siblings, how horrible (all deaths are horrible, but 2 lose 2 children at the same time is excruciatingly painful) than I read on that she was with her boyfriend. Again I am sorry for their loss. I am one of those people that are neurotic about train crossings, especially when they don’t have gates.</p>
<p>My son recently completed Driver’s Ed - they brought in a train conductor to talk to the class. I thought it was an interesting angle. Instead of bringing someone in to talk about how they barely survived a train wreck (the whole "don’t do something stupid like I did) the conductor talked to them about how awful it is for him - to know their is a car trying to cross and how there is NOTHING he can do to stop the train fast enough and the pain he had to live with knowing that people were killed and he couldn’t do a thing about it.</p>
<p>It’s always been hard for me to imagine why people would drive around a lowered gate with the lights flashing and so on. A freight line goes through our town, and there are a couple of grade crossings that have lights but no gate. The trains are traveling very slowly, but they are very long: perhaps 50 cars. It takes at least 5 minutes for the train to pass (I’ve timed it.) There’s no way they could stop quickly enough to avid hitting a car on the crossing: the moving mass is simply too much. One of the spots has dips and curves that potentially hide stopped cars from speeders. I’ve always harbored a neurotic fear that someone would come speeding up behind me, be unable to stop, and push my car into the train. So I leave several car lengths and set my flashers going!</p>
<p>BTW, I agree, Pima, I initially assumed that one of the guys must be her brother. I’m terribly sorry for all the families. (Particularly, perhaps, that of the driver, since it probably won’t take long for the blame to start circulating. But who knows if someone was egging him on, daring him…hasn’t it been established that groups of kids in cars tend to indulge in riskier behavior?)</p>
<p>I wish the parents and their families peace. What happened is heartbreaking. </p>
<p>I do, though, wonder about any parent who’d let her 14 year old daughter date a guy so much older and hang out with a bunch of much older guys. That in itself was a disaster waiting to happen. I wouldn’t be so callous, however, as to post this thought as some people did in the comment section of the Free Press story.</p>
<p>Consolation, you’re smart to leave a lot of space at a crossing. What you fear, happened in our city a couple of years ago. A couple stopped at a crossing were killed when their car was hit at a high rate of speed by a drunk driver at 7 p.m on a clear summer evening. The area is flat and the lights were flashing. </p>
<p>Young people often do stupid things. Most of the time it doesn’t result in death but often it does. A few nights ago here, two young men around 20 were killed in a horrific accident when the driver of the car lost control while racing another car (which has yet to be found) along a highway. The car flipped onto a guardrail and the two kids were killed instantly. A girl who was in the car, unbelted and sitting on the lap of one of the boys, miraculously survived. If only we knew how to prevent stupid behavior.</p>
<p>I live near the accident site, and obviously this story ia all over the local news. The whole thing is so heartbreaking, no matter who was dating whom.</p>
<p>One local newscaster happened to interview the dead girl’s grandfather before the family was notified. The entire family was gathered at the home, which was near the accident site, because they had been trying to contact the girl for hours and she wasn’t picking up the phone. They knew about the accident and feared it was their daughter/granddaughter butdidn’t know for sure. I don’t know - there’s something haunting about that image of calling the cell phone over and over while knowing about a terrible accident nearby.</p>
<p>Northstar I agree there is a time and place for everything. The mother of the 14 yr old doesn’'t need to read the obituary and turn the page to have people condem her for allowing her DD to be with a group of guys from 18-21, because now she will have extra guilt.</p>
<p>I recall many yrs ago, before cell phones. We were living in England and it was on the news that a F-111 from our base crashed. The wife knew in her bones immediately that it was her husband, even though it could have been 50 other guys. It is horrible to know in your bones that it is them, worse yet when the media notifies you of it!</p>
<p>When my sons turned 18 their dad and I enrolled them in a teen defensive driving class given at an area race track.</p>
<p>What I don’t get are the parents I know who won’t even pay for REGULAR driver’s ed. They don’t see the point since it’s ‘all just common sense stuff’. Instead they wait until their kid is 18 and can get a license without taking driver’s ed (or fulfilling the 50 hours driving time with a parent or instructor). As far as I’m concerned, every little thing that nudges them toward being a better, smarter, more well-informed, more cautious, scared driver is fine by me.</p>
<p>My sons were involved in an accident that totalled their van just 3 months after getting their licenses. Snowy night, ditches full of snow, son got a little close to the edge of the road and got sucked into a ditch. Hit a pole and totalled the van.</p>
<p>Fortunately no injuries. They had a friend in the van with them. But it showed my sons just HOW FAST an accident can occur and despite the loss of the van I think it was a lesson well learned. (Fortunately I had no time to even worry because my son called and said, “We’re okay, but we hit a pole.” By the time I realized how serious the accident was I already knew they were fine.)</p>
<p>My big fear at railroad crossings is that the train will derail and hit me. I always try to stop well back just in case.</p>
<p>My fear is the car will stall and I can’t start it!</p>
<p>My children saw first hand how quickly and accident can happen even when you are driving properly. We were driving no bound on 95 in VA, I stayed 3 car lengths away (big 10 sec stickler), two cars up was a pick up truck with a ladder on the bed, it flew off onto the lane, the car in front of me swerved, over corrected went through 3 lanes into a ditch and rolled 3 times before landing upside down. I pulled over called the cops, they showed up and luckily the driver survived. Got back in my car and told the kids, that is why you do the 10 sec rule and wear a seat belt, had I been riding his tail it would have been much worse because I am sure I would’ve been in the ditch upside down too!</p>
<p>I have always said one thing to them each time they walk out the door with the car keys…remember you are the most important thing in my life driving 2 tons of metal! I say it hoping they realize that driving a car is to respect that it could kill you.</p>
<p>Tragic. There was an accident near me recently where a mother was killed because she had put her seat belt back around her arm. Her teenage daughter who was belted properly lived. In my Most Mommish fashion I emailed the article to both of my children.</p>
<p>I think the fact that the driver had a suspended license contributed far more to this tragedy than the fact that the 14 yr old girl was dating an older boy from her high school.</p>
<p>My pet peeve…teens killed in Amtrak crash? They died in a car accident, as surely as if they had driven the car into a brick wall. Amtrak gets the publicity of being associated with the deaths as though it were a train derailment or something.</p>
<p>(Sorry, I’m a train buff, and people mistakenly believe trains are less safe than cars.)</p>
<p>When my kids got their drivers licenses, I prayed for them to have a small accident. Nothing I or anyone else could tell them about safety, or how quickly accidents can happen, would ever mean as much to them as the real thing. </p>
<p>What is it about teenagers that they don’t seem to understand the word “accident” ? They think that they’re smart, and have good reflexes, and nothing can happen. As if accidents are things that people plan for or something? Geez.</p>
<p>Both my kids had little fender benders shortly after getting their licenses. Really brought it home for them. Well, that plus us making them pay the deductible. I was one happy mom.</p>
<p>I’ll be having the railroad track talk with son again after reading this. It’s also a good reminder for me to never tell my kid to “hurry” or rush when driving. I try to be careful about that but in the day to day, I might be tempted.</p>
<p>We had an accident here a few days ago that killed one teen, severely injured another and one only had minor injuries. They were hit by a drunk driver, which is the aspect that is getting all the attention. However, the teen with minor injuries was the only one wearing a seatbelt and the other two were thrown from their vehicle. </p>
<p>That’s along winded way of saying that sometimes taking very basic steps can pay huge dividends.</p>
<p>It’s so sad when taking these seeminly small risks have deadly consequences.</p>
<p>It seems like I just saw a public service announcement on t.v. recently. It was about having the courage to speak up if you’re in a car and don’t like what the driver is doing. I hope they run it some more. My son returned from a 4th grade field trip, telling me that he learned you can drive around train arms that block the road. Can you belive a “mom” actually did this with a car full of public-school 4th graders? The principal “talked” to her about it. It’s been 4 years and I’m still upset over it.</p>
<p>At a RR crossing near to my house, there are flashing red lights and a guard that comes down. The red lights will flash, then there is a slight time delay (I don’t know how long that delay is) and then the guard will come down.</p>
<p>I stop at the crossing when the red lights flash, even if the guard hasn’t come down yet. Did that the other day and the car behind me had to stop quickly. I guess he thought that I’d run through that flashing red light. </p>
<p>I can’t even imagine driving AROUND a down guard. Why would anyone take such a risk?</p>
<p>It’s a sad story, the mom has not reason to blame herself for the stupidity of the kids in the car. It is never a good idea to risk your life and life of others to beat the train. If your the passenger, speak up if the driver is putting your safety or life in harms way.</p>