We don’t talk about bowel movements in public, or what came out of my nose this morning, or other bodily functions. There is a time and a place. If someone wants to talk with their partner, if they choose to be sexually active together, or even their close friends about what they “prefer “between the sheets””, all the power to them. I don’t want to hear about other people’s sex lives whether they are vanilla or kinky. I honestly don’t care either way, as long as the people involved are OK with it, but I do feel incredibly annoyed by people who talk about it in the workplace (yes, it happens even in conservative workplaces) or to casual acquaintances at lunch - all unsolicited. Maybe people should have more awareness - discovering what you like does not equal bothering those around, who have no interest in those conversations.
And no, I don’t think we should normalize those types of conversations any more than I think we should normalize conversation about other bodily functions. In a medical setting? Sure. With close friends? Why not. To random people over lunch or a get-together? No thanks. Time and place.
Look, to each his or her own. I’d rather poke my eyes out than hear about someone’s toddler or
God atltunch but I recognize that this is what some like to talk about. I wouldn’t complain about others having these conversations and if you don’t want to talk about sex then it’s fine. Don’t judge others though because they like something different.
I don’t think you get it - I don’t judge them because they like something different - I really and truly don’t have an issue with people’s personal preferences. I do judge them because they bring up an inappropriate subject, considering the setting. The instances I am referring to, by the way, are not people liking something different, so no issue with that, just plain, regular sex talk. But yes, I WILL judge you if you talk about sex at work, or feel it’s an appropriate subject to bring up at lunch with someone you just met. Boundaries. Some people don’t have them.
If you are pushy with religion or politics at work, also not appropriate.
When people ask me what I thought of the book, I usually respond that if not for the subject matter, I would have thought that the author was a hyperventilating, immature-for-her-age 14 year old girl. Stupid stupid stupid prose/dialogue. Reading the one star reviews at Amazon was far more entertaining than reading the novel.
I can’t say I know much about BDSM, but I had gathered that it was always supposed to be enthusiastically embraced by each of the participants in order for it to be sexually gratifying for them. But that is NOT how it is portrayed in the book, and the actions of Christian were incredibly annoying, and imo, abusive.
I never read the other two books and don’t have current plans to see the movie. Not because it is too hot for me to handle, but because it just doesn’t interest me.
I did find it amusing, however, to see that many of the movie critics did say that the movie is an improvement upon the “very poorly written” novel.
^^^
Just google “bonbon break and fifty shades of grey.” Think it is blocked for some reason. It is actually an excellent article. Thanks for posting the link @poetsheart.
I have no interest whatsoever in reading the book or seeing the movie. I have heard enough about it to know it would be a waste of my time. I don’t care if people read poorly-written novels, fantasize about being tied up or spanked, or whatever. What concerns me is the abusive, stalker aspect of the book/movie. I read a good piece in yesterday’s Detroit Free Press that addresses this aspect: http://www.freep.com/story/life/family/kristen-jordan-shamus/2015/02/12/fifty-shades-grey-bashara/23296213/ . The article references a recent, infamous case in which a man involved in the BDSM scene locally had his wife killed. The issue is not the BDSM lifestyle, but the part where it crosses over the line.
Fortunately, my son was raised in a home where women were valued and treated with respect - where men were given the same value and respect. No box office hit is going to influence him more than the foundation he was given growing up.
I am sure the Europeans are all getting a good laugh at the American audiences all aflutter over this film. I think I read that in France you would only have to be 12 to see this film.
The way I look at it is that it’s a series of books and a movie. I, personally, can’t stand the violent movies that others seem to love. I am close to having to give up a couple of TV shows that I used to really enjoy because they have just gotten too graphic with the violence. That’s my choice. If people want to go see a fiction movie about kinky sex, I don’t see it as affecting the viewer much more than the evening news does.
It makes me sad that anyone would waste valuable reading time on one of these execrable books, much less three. It’s not the subject, it’s the incredibly horrid writing. Life’s too short to spend it on garbage! From what I’ve read, the director of the movie took a somewhat tongue in cheek approach, recognizing that the book couldn’t be dealt with seriously, and audiences are actually hooting with laughter at many lines. I guess that’s somewhat heartening?
A lot of the reviewers had no problem with a book depicting a lot of sex or BDSM. Many of them stated that there are some quality writers of erotica out there who can fully flesh out characters, develop engrossing plot lines, and deliver quality prose.
It all comes down to the same thing over and over: truly awful writing.