When widowed MIL was living in a minimal assistance retirement community, she and “Mike” started a relationship. According to BIL, “Mike” was a gambler and was keenly interested in MIL’s assets. When MIL started talking about a possible marriage, BIL (a family atty) convinced her to do a prenup. “Mike” quickly lost interest.
While none of that may apply to the OP’s situation, when older folks are considering marriage, a sensible prenup is really essential when one side or both have descendents.
I still can’t figure out why you’d get married and live in different states at that age (?).
If one of them went in the hospital, even, it could be a mess. Much less all the other stuff.
OP here. Thanks for the replies. I appreciate all of your cautions and warnings. He’s not a scammer–they’ve been friends forever, back when they were each married to other people. They each have full and busy lives with friends and family where they live, so neither wants to move. It’s an issue of morality, and, to them, only involves the church. They thought they could deal with the religious concerns without it having any impact on their “worldly” lives. As someone suggested above, a liberal priest would be really helpful!