The morning of 9/11 I came upon MSNBC which was broadcasting their 9/11/01 programming at the exact same time as it happened so in effect, it really was like seeing it all over again. That said, I was at work that day and did not see it as one continuous broadcast and, as well, I did not watch more than about 30 minutes of it. Anyway, I told about it on FB, saying " It’s still just mind bogging. My heart goes out to the survivors, the families of the victims, the police and firefighters that day." And all of FB that day was post after post of “Never forget”. Anyway, an old h.s. friend with whom I was not in touch up until the last couple of years via FB answered: " As an eyewitness, I have no need to review it. Horrible…
I think of it like “ambulance chasing” - what do you expect to see ? People jumping out of the towers ? I was “blessed” to have avoided that but many of my friends/co-workers did not."
Man, I was appalled to have offended her so, more appalled to think she would think I was looking for falling bodies. I didn’t even know her those years and had no idea she lived in NYC, etc.
Harsh? Do we never forget or pretend like everything is peachy keen and not look back?
How are witnesses and survivors really doing now?
WDYT?
It is important that the horrors be shown lest we forget.
It is the same thing as seeing old footage of the Holocaust. It makes it less likely that future generations will whitewash the events in the name of political correctness.
I don’t think she was criticizing you personally, nor do I think you offended her personally. She was just being real. A lot of political hay has been made out of that day. I think that is pretty offensive.
I used to commute through the WTC on a daily basis. I remember meeting H in the PATH station there on our first date. The first time the WTC was bombed, H was working nearby and a friend was actually in the building. (Ironically, his SIL–a half-Jewish woman–had become an Islamist extremist and when the “blind sheik” whose followers had done it was interviewed, he was staying at her house in California! But that’s another story.) H called me from work and told me they had felt an explosion. When the event happened, I was living in Maine. I felt a certain connection to the actual thing that maybe others did not. I remember driving to my S’s school, and looking at him through the glass in his classroom door that day. I just felt the need. I think that each person needs to be allowed to have their own reactions to it. Some of us actually knew people who were killed that day. Some of us knew what it was like to be right there. Some did not. I remembered what it was like to work on an upper floor of the Sears Tower and could imagine trying to evacuate down those long, long staircases. I commuted into NYC from CT and could vividly imagine the cars sitting in the parking lots that no one would ever come home to.
I also remember being horribly disgusted by a Bill O’Reilly show in which he attacked and villified the pacifist son of a man who was killed in the towers. He should be ashamed of himself.
I think that everyone’s experience is valid, and should be honored, as long as they are not exploiting it fo rpolitical gain or using it to invalidate the experience of others.
I too, don’t think that her comments were directed to you. They were an expression of a gut wrenching personal experience for her. I grew up outside the city, some of my neighbors and later some of my friends commuted to the Trade Center. We lost a friend from Rescue 3 and another friend who was trapped while doing electrial work. My husband worked for a utility company, they sent him home to pack and return to the site, the trains stopped running and he could not get there for a few weeks. We lived in CT and could see the smoke rising from the buildings while looking at Manhattan from the supply staging area on Sherwood Island. We lost members of our community and surrounding area. My mother-in-law lives in a small Westchester town near the churches where a large number funerals were held over the following weeks. When the morgue was set up at the pier, you would pass people holding photos of their missing loved ones while lining the Westside highway. A number of us nurses volunteered at St. Paul’s Chapel. My brother was hospitalized at St. Vincent at the end of September. There was fencing up and ribbons, photos and notes where attached to the fence. It was heartbreaking. I have not been to the memorial site and don’t know when I will be able to go without breaking down and reliving the days and weeks. I watch very limited coverage of the event, but believe that it must be shown so it will not be forgotten. It is still very raw for me, even after 14 years.
Perhaps you can send a PM to her offering comfort.
I felt the same way for years about the tourists to NYC who wanted to see Ground Zero, almost like a tourist attraction. I grew up in NYC and had classmates who perished in the towers. I was in the Pentagon that morning. All those years I thought it was wrong for people to gawk at the site where so many died. I finally went to the site on July 4th of last year and visited the museum. I had to admit it was very well done and with respect.
I haven’t made it to the holocaust museum or ground zero. It’s too hard to go there. My brother mentioned seeing the people jumping 1 time in 14 years. It’s too personal for some people and I get that, even if I think it can’t be healthy to keep that in. For most of us we want to make sure future generations don’t forget the horror of the day. For many I imagine they’d like nothing more than to be able to forget for a minute. People process things differently.
I was deeply affected by the incident, even though I lived on the West Coast at the time. Everyone’s reactions to that incident are valid, no one’s reactions deserve more credence than others, except for those who lost their lives or loved ones.
I remember seeing a documentary on one of the 9/11 anniversaries. It was likely 5 years or more likely, 10 years after. They followed the stories of the survivors and the loved ones who had lost people. One young woman had lost her fiancé, who was a firefighter. A young man had lost his mother. A construction worker had lost his brother. Another woman was horribly burned and disabled from it.
They all had different paths to healing and it took lots of time. But it was quite hopeful in the end with the happiness and peace they had all found.
Similarly, the French brothers who were making a documentary about firefighters chronicled the events of the day. At the end, the surviving fire fighters are a wreck, most of them pledging to leave their occupation. When they showed this film a few years later and had updates about the firefighters, they were all in a different, and much happier place.
So OP, I’m sorry to hear it sounds like it is still so raw to your friend. I don’t think you did anything wrong and she will have to deal with reminders every year and will hopefully cope better in the future.
I teach journalism ethics and one of the case studies I use is the “falling man” picture. Over the past 14 years, there’s been a huge change in how the college students respond to the case. What used to take an entire hour and be very emotional now is a short conversation (these students were 5 or 6 at the time and have little to no memory of the day).
A friend was on United 93. Every year I see his widow post his pictures on FB. My kid’s teacher husband died that day. A lot of my friends were downtown and saw people jumping off buildings. My office was downtown, but I was working from home sometimes, and I happened to have switched my day to go in from Sep 11 to Sep 10, so I watched the whole thing on TV.
@stradmom I was in 5th grade on 9/11. I have no connection to NYC and while I could kind of “understand” what was going on at the time, it didn’t really affect me. I was simply too young and it was too remote. Now, I’ve grown up with the images. I don’t remember a pre-9/11. I don’t have an emotional connection to that day and, honestly, seeing the videos and pictures over and over and over and over again makes it seem like white noise.
The Nazi Holocaust images, OTOH, still affect me every time I see them because I’m not routinely inundated with them.
I, personally, have a negative reaction to the whole #neverforget thing for a number of reasons. Most of them political and outside the scope of this thread (and site).
With that said, I don’t think the OP’s friend was going after her personally. I think it hit a nerve and lots of people are still dealing with PTSD, which is something I think many forget. They aren’t allowed to heal in any kind of meaningful way when the scar keeps getting repeatedly picked at. Can you imagine being constantly reminded of the worst day of your life?