My DD1 and her husband became foster parents when they were unable to have children. They fostered a 5 year old boy and his baby sister. They have now adopted them. I love them to pieces, just like my biological grandchildren.
What I learned of the DCFS and the foster system is that there are two differing philosophies. The first is keeping the family together as the top priority. The second is the welfare of the children. Different counties/states have different methods of handling endangered children. My daughter’s county focuses on the welfare of the children. The parents had substance abuse issues. The baby was born with drugs in her system. After giving the mother 30 days to change her ways, the children were removed. The parents had a list of requirements to complete before they could have the children returned to them. The father never really tried. The mom - who truly loved them - was unwilling or unable to do anything towards completing the list. She lied constantly to the social workers and even to the judges.
I was thrilled when the biological parents lost their rights because it meant that my DD and her husband would be able to adopt them. There was also a small part of me that was profoundly sad that the mother had lost her rights permanently. I could not envision ever not doing everything and anything needed to keep my children.
The welfare of the children should ALWAYS trump keeping the family together.