<p>That’s what I thought! but I miss the kid anyway and I don’t regret anything we did to help him. Fortunately, my D is fine, she miss him too and she can’t stop saying that she loves him very much, but she had the courage I didn’t have since abuse comes from outsiders too and it’s the only way to stop it.</p>
<p>it is okay to miss him, but he and his family were not healthy for your daughter…</p>
<p>there is a book that I LOVE and recommend to everyone, its called</p>
<p>“Women who love too much”</p>
<p>its is a few years old, but its a classic…I think every female should read it, becauase, we all will see ourselves, or our sisters, daughters, friends in it…it talks about our need to “fix” and “help” guys, which is not our responsibillty, but regardless, we often feel responsible-</p>
<p>Oh, he just needs someone to show him…that is okay, to a degree, ie, which fork to use, but you can’t change a jerk, even if he appears sweet, which is a nice trick</p>
<p>it was after reading that book that my D saw what her friend was doing and decided, while she couldn’t change her friend or the friends BF, she could stand up and speak her mind and decide not to be an enabler</p>
<p>This thread reminds me of a recently released DVD “Down in the Valley” by Ed Norton. It depicts a trouble relationship between father and daughter who despite her father’s objection dates a urban cowboy.</p>
<p>ariesathena – I tried to pm you but your box was full. Any way you could post or link to that list of 15 signs of an abusive relationship?</p>
<p><a href=“http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/warnings.shtml[/url]”>http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/warnings.shtml</a></p>
<p><a href=“http://www.creatingfutures.net/abusive.html[/url]”>http://www.creatingfutures.net/abusive.html</a></p>
<p>Here are a couple links to sites with warning signs of abusive relationships.</p>
<p>Oh, wow, thank you guys! 
</p>
<p>MKM’s second link (to CreatingFutures) was the list I had seen and which made me think… “Wow.” The Buffalo link describes pretty well what to watch for.</p>
<p>CityGirls’Mom - good for your D. I don’t know what’s going on now with the friendships, but it might not hurt for her to (if she wants to) to send a birthday or Christmas or whatever card to the girl, to let her know that she’s still thinking of her.</p>
<p>oh they talk and such, but that close bond, the sharing of secrets, that kind of thing is gone…which is sad, but at least the other girl has realized she was in a mess of a relationship, and has made a connecting with D again.</p>
<p>D realizes the relationship with girl is more superficial than it was before, but that is okay, at least no “enemies” or bad vibes anymore- you know, ending up at the same place and that dark cloud comes into the room, now, it is not all sunshiney, but at least it is friendly and cordial- just that the other girl did bad mouth my D and her friends, so D has lost trust, but does want to put the mess behind her…only so much time left and why walk around angry, sad, and worried about someone</p>
<p>thanks for caring so much and I love your posts and your insight</p>