<p>my husband and i combined make about 300,000 a year and are wondering whether to send my son to a 33,000 a year private school or to a decent public one. we have another daughter going to a boarding school at around the same price (28k), so i am wondering if we can afford it. we live relatively frugally, and (i dont want to ask my husband -who’s in charge of the finances- unless i am sure that it won’t stretch us much) the private school usually sends about 30% (30 kids) to the top 10 schools a year (where my son wants to go), and the public one about 2%, or about 15 kids to the top 10 schools a year. what do you guys suggest?</p>
<p>he is well qualified (in terms of high caliber admissions) and is very capable
the private school is more nurturing, and the high school is unrelentlessly competitive, but is the price worth it?</p>
<p>Take a hard look at who the private is sending to the top colleges if that is a main consideration for sending him. You will most probably find a lot of the kids are legacies at these top colleges, recruited athletes and top URMs. In many cases kids have a better chance from public schools at elite colleges.</p>
<p>I think there are many great reasons to send kids to great private schools, but to up their chances for top colleges is usually not one. I know this is counter intuitive.</p>
<p>I am not a parent, but think about it this way:</p>
<p>The top private schools send more kids to top schools a year because the private school student body is more self-selecting. You have to have high test scores and such to get into these places, and while I’m sure the schools’ connections count for something, top students are top students.</p>
<p>Public schools – even the best ones – have the mission of serving the public. Not all public school students want to go to college, and of the ones that do, very few desire to go to very top schools. So the percentage of students who go to top ten schools may not be indicative of the rigor of schools, but more the desires of the students who want to go there.</p>
<p>The thing also is, you have to consider whether you can afford not only to spend him to this private school for 4+ years, but also turn around and pay for a top school for that many years as well. Most of the very top schools don’t offer merit-based aid, and with your family’s salary you are unlikely to get very much need-based aid.</p>
<p>Personally, I don’t think it’s worth it. I went to a regular ol’ public high school with a Magnet program (definition of “decent public high school” – not bad, not spectacular either). Many of my classmates in the Magnet program went off to top schools (Harvard, Yale, Chicago, Duke, Davidson, Dartmouth) as well as some not-so-top, but still very solidly known programs (like me). And going even further, of the ones that I know are doing very distinguished things with their career (top medical schools, top grad programs), not all of them even went to a very top, expensive undergraduate program. I went to Spelman College and am doing my PhD at Columbia, for instance, and most of my colleagues here went to undergraduate colleges I’ve never heard of.</p>
<p>But of course, it is your family’s determination. If your son is a very motivated student, of course, and achieves high grades and test scores, gets involved in school, gets good letters of recommendation, and writes great essays, he will be competitive for top undergrad schools no matter where he goes to high school. What private schools have to offer are connections and resources. You have to decide whether $33,000/year is worth it for connections and resources.</p>
<p>Our Ds both attended private K-12. While our private high school did not cost 33K, it was the same percentage of our household income. If I had known then what I know now, I would have fought to send our youngest to a particular high school on our area known for it’s IB program and top 2 nationally ranked science bowl team. Hind-sight is 20/20. I am not unhappy with the outcome for D2, she will be attending Stanford on a 90% financial package. Our private high school does not have the history with the number of students attending HYPS. Our D2 is the first student to ever be admitted to Stanford on academic merit. There was a Vassar and a Brown from this graduating class as well. </p>
<p>All that being said, the private high school experience does allow much more flexibility in curriculum than our public school system would. I asked her what her thoughts were for this thread and she voted for the public school. I am torn. Maybe she would not be the young women she is today without all of the opportunities she received in her high school.</p>
<p>Both of our girls have gone to the same k-12 private school. The school also sends over 30% to top tier schools, many of them are legacies and athletes. I think D1 would have gotten into the same college if she had gone to our local high school. The benefit of private school for D1 is she was very well prepared for college. She had less of a problem than other students in transitioning into difficulty of college courses. That being said, it seems to even out after a year or two. Kids from public schools do catch up later and end up doing well. Other benefit of private school education is availability of resource, smaller classes, reflexibility of curriculum, probably some personal connection. Is it all worth 130,000 to you? Do you have enough money put away for colleges? </p>
<p>I do think a very good private school would help with college admission, but I don’t think it’s enough to be the only reason to send your kid to private school.</p>
<p>I hate to say it…but what does the KID want to do? When DS was in middle school, we looked seriously at private schools for him as well as looking seriously at our public high school. In the end, the public school offered more of what HE was interested in (music) and was more highly regarded in music than any of the private high schools we saw (we live in a mecca of private schools…lots to choose from. NONE really had a well regarded instrumental program). So…HE said he wanted to stay at the public school…and it was fine. During high school, he also looked at a magnet school, but decided against that as well. </p>
<p>Private school is great for some kids and not great for others. We have friends who sent one of their kiddos to private school and not the other.</p>
<p>Re: the finances…do you have money saved for high school AND college costs? I would think that with your family income, you would be putting aside some money for college at least. Personally, I would put my money in the “college” fund basket assuming the public high school where you live provides a good program. But that is me…if I had to make a choice.</p>
<p>One way to think about the private school environment is “worth it” is to think about whether you would be willing to take the same cut in pay for a job that had a superior environment.</p>
<p>What would you be willing to sacrifice in pay for yourself to get out of an environment that is “unrelentlessly competitive” and into one that is more nuturing? </p>
<p>Our two sons have gone to both public and private, as well as done distance learning, and taken college courses in high school, so we’ve done it all. Each decision must be evaluated on its own merits. There are many ways to get an education, but a good private school with the right environment can be worth a lot.</p>
<p>Both D1 & D2 have attended a private K-12 school, taking a higher % of my earnings than you describe. I have never regretted the expense, even in years when it was a bit of a struggle. For us, the nuturing part was huge - - our kids were well known, taught, and cared for by a group of adults that I deeply trust and respect. Also, it was well worth it to give our kids the opportunity to participate in activities that they likely would not have been able to do in our local public high schools; a relatively small school size allowed them to play sports, for example, where they probably would not have made the team in a larger school. Combined with the academic rigor, it has been great fit for both of them. They certainly could have succeeded at the local public high school, but I personally have found the private school expense to be well worth it.</p>
<p>I went to such a school along with my brothers, but I’ve sent my kids to the local high school.</p>
<p>Two thoughts: </p>
<ol>
<li>Quality matters. Our high school is excellent, not decent. I don’t know where I’d draw the line about quality; it’s personal.</li>
<li>Social environment matters. We live where private schools grow like weeds. Many of them are so socially homogenous it’s like … well, an old friend joked that they point to his kids as diversity because they live in a mixed neighborhood. If you’re comparing lily white suburban schools, this doesn’t matter. </li>
<li>Your kid. I was sent to private school because I needed that environment. My kids did not need that to keep focused and succeed. </li>
</ol>
<p>Is it worth it? I think the best thing is to make your decision based on what you decide and then accept it for that.</p>
<p>I went to one of the best publics in the country that sends around 20 kids to Ivy League schools (not counting MIT, Stanford, or other top schools not in that athletic division). Part of the reason why so many kids went to top schools is because I am in a very rich area. Parents can afford to, and decide to, pay 50k a year for their children’s education. At most public schools top students are able to get into top privates, but choose to go elsewhere for the money.</p>
<p>In terms of education, if your child needs the smaller classes, it could be worth it. A top private school might also be worth it. They provide a better education than the best publics and can really help your child grow academically a lot more than a public school. They also emphasize ECs and internships more so your child will be in an environment where everyone is doing something compared to an average high school where many kids aren’t very involved.</p>
<p>This is a personal decision, but one thing to keep in mind is, it sounds like your son wants to go to a top college. Top colleges are very expensive, and with your family income, you probably won’t get much finaid, if any. If you spend 33K/year on four years of high school, that’s 132K less that you have to pay his college tuition.</p>
<p>Now, if you think that the private school is going to make such a tremendous difference in his life and academic future, that may not matter to you. But it’s something to keep in mind.</p>
<p>I also agree with what various people have said about private schools sending more kids to top schools because the kids are self-selected and are more likely to come from moneyed families than the public school kids. I went to a good public school, and a lot of kids who were academically capable of getting into top colleges, followed the money and took free rides at in-state schools.</p>
<p>I also think quality matters, but at many public high schools, a self-motivated kid will do just fine. I think the smaller elite schools offer a tremendous advantage for the child who is quiet and polite but will sit in the back of the room and not raise a hand if no one calls on him and her. </p>
<p>I am confused how the public school is ruthlessely competitive, yet sends so few kids to top schools. This seems like an anomoly to me. There are public HSs where I live that are competitive, yet they are in wealthy areas and do send a much higher % to elite schools. Maybe if the public is a magnet – and has kids from less well off areas? </p>
<p>I agree with the legacy and sports issue. OTOH, a smaller school will have far fewer kids competing for captain of varsity team, editor of newspaper etc.</p>
<p>Like several above posters, both D1 and D2 attended local private schools. The financial sacrifice was worth it because the public HS actively discouraged kids academically. That said, it doesn’t sound like the OP’s son has a compelling reason to attend a pricey private school … “may help him get into the Ivy of his dream” is not a compelling reason to spend $132K of after-tax cash IMHO. (Oh, and don’t forget that you and your son will be asked for annual contributions to that private school f.o.r _ t.h.e _ r.e.s.t _ o.f _ y.o.u.r _ l.i.v.e.s …) I’m just saying …</p>
<p>Keep in mind that approximately HALF of the students at Ivy League schools went to public high schools. Good to very good high schools, but public nonetheless.</p>
<p>If possible, arrange for your son to shadow for a day at each school and go from there. You can afford the private, so it’s more just a matter of value for your money.</p>
<p>My D’s private school, every year send a good amount of kids to the Ivies. The school is full of legacies with hardly any recruited athletes, and many of the parents are profs.
One thing that I noticed at many schools in my area is that if the headmaster or the college counselor went or worked at a particular college, the kids tend to have an advantage at that college.
So when I’m looking at a HS’ college placement, I take it with a grain of salt. It’s no wonder some of these schools do not use Naviance.
I think the kids who tend to benefit the most from public schools are the ones who are self motivated, or the ones with parents who are vigilant and willing to supplement their education.
I do agree with the poster that said that Public school kids, do catch up to their Private school peers in college.</p>
<p>I’d say let your kid decide.</p>
<p>Long story short with me. In 8th grade I faced a similar decision, public with a decent reputation or a private with a pretty good reputation(but about 3X less expensive than yours, lol). My first instinct was that that I want to go to the public H.S. I told my parents this and I think my dad was happy because I’d save him over 8k, but my mom was not very happy. She kind of had a mini flip out on me, and told me I would have my own dress code at the public H.S., and they make me study a certain number of hours a day, etc…So I gave in to the private one, but I was sort of on the fence so I did not make a big deal out of it. </p>
<p>But now a few years into H.S., I begin to wonder if my gut instinct to go to the local public would have been better. Socially I probably would have been better off at the public, but I have made quite a few friends at my H.S. now, but it is hard to go to someones house when they live 40 minutes away from you. Academically, I may have been better off at the public, they offer more AP classes, student body is similar at each school. </p>
<p>The pasture is not always greener at the private. The brochures and ads for the school make it look like a great place to go to school, make friends, in the prefect environment. Far from it.</p>
<p>A lot of kids get caught smoking pot and a lot of them get kicked out (unless of course you are a star football player, then our administration will look the other way and pretend nothing happened.) Oh, and cheating is rampant at my private school that tries to “instill the values and teachings of Jesus in every young man” blah blah. The kind of sad thing is that teachers know kids cheat, caught kids and do nothing about it. Some kids that have been caught by teachers and “disciplined” for it are still in NHS. One of the teachers who caught of few kids was even on the selection committee. </p>
<p>Ok, that was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Sorry, I guess I just had to vent, lol. </p>
<p>In short: Leave it up to him.</p>
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<p>If you don’t understand your family’s finances well enough to make informed decisions about your children’s education, then I think you need to become a financial equal to your spouse.</p>
<p>D went to a private school that served her well. (our local high schools were dysfunctional)
That being said…there were plenty of parents who felt cheated that their kid didn’t get into a top rated school after shelling out vast sums of money. There are no guarantees and whether or not that it’s “worth it” is up to the student</p>