<p>Hi, my name is Panda. I'm a seventeen year old high school student - I'm going into senior year this fall. However, I was originally supposed to graduate this June.
All 2009, I was depressed. I spent my entire high school years trying to be popular, but by 2009 I realized that "trying to be popular" was pointless. I thought it made me an outcast from my family, and I felt like, shouldn't family be more important? Meanwhile, I was trying to get into Stanford, Yale, Wellesley, and Princeton - my top four choices.
I became suicidal. I attempted once and I also slit my wrists. I was admitted into a mental institution last September and again in November for being "psychotic", "bipolar tendencies", and for "suicide attempts".</p>
<p>Now it's June. I havent been to school in almost 8 months. I haven't practiced my viola since February. I've moved to a completely new state: from the east coast to the conservative South. ad 6 months at home, and I did nothing. I could've taken college courses. The only thing I will do during my break, that I can write about in a superb, developed college essay, is my trip to Cameroon (in Africa) in 2 weeks, walk-a-thon, founded by me, to raise money for children who need to go to school. I need to supplement my GPA. I could've and I still want to go to Stanford and Yale...
Here's a thread: <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/851942-mental-illness-applying-yps.html%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/851942-mental-illness-applying-yps.html</a>
I registered at my new school on Monday and I'm taking 3 AP courses, 2 honors courses and some required courses.
My mom tells me not to work myself so hard.
I'm so confused. I ask people advice yet I feel like I'm getting the wrong advice from my parents. They don't understand why I work hard. IN fact it's depressing when my mom tells me to "relax" as if she doesn't believe I really want to go to Stanford. Everyone is telling me to calm down a little because Im still on medication and I'm still recovering from depression. Yesterday I even started eating CHICKEN. It was horrible. (I'm a vegetarian.)
And on top of that, I'm really worried. As you can probably tell from my writing, I don't write as good as I used to. I'm out of practice. But I have to draft all my college essays! I haven't started practicing my viola piece for my music supplement. All my essays that I started last year are still in a cardboard box in my closet. I spend all day playing video games. I've lost motivation. I feel defeated.And this is a person who wants to be at Stanford or Yale, this time next year.
My life has broken. Into many little, scattered pieces, like a glass that drops on the kitchen floor. There are big chunks of glass which are clearly seen, and easily picked up, but you can't reglue the glass without the tinier pieces. The tinier pieces make up the whole, and yet if you can't see them, you can't pick them up. When I see a tiny piece, though, I try to pick it up, but it pierces my finger and I bleed.</p>