<p>He is one of TENS OF MILLIONS in this situation. He needs to understand that. The sun will come up.</p>
<p>My D didnt get into the three reach schools she applied to. She got into all the match schools and safety schools, with scholarship money.</p>
<p>Her present boyfriend had a similar experience. </p>
<p>Now they are both doing extremely well, are well adjusted, enjoying school and each other and looking forward not backwards.</p>
<p>One of the reach schools contacted her about reapplying for the next year, which was a nice gesture and she thought about it. But really just wanted to move on in her life. </p>
<p>Some kids who did get into their dream schools come home disappointed at Christmas, stressed to the max, or shrugging their shoulders saying “its no big deal.” </p>
<p>Too much emphasis is placed by kids on the name of a school. As if a name is going to determine if they will be successful in life or not. And as if their own self worth, as measured by the peer pressure they get at school, is tied up in the name of the school they are attending. Of course, as adults we know that is totally wrong headed. Its a normal teenage feeling. </p>
<p>Just be there for him, encouraging him and reminding him that all things happen for a reason. Perhaps the girl of his dreams is waiting for him at UCSC or another school. Perhaps the opportunity of a lifetime, a professor just waiting to mentor him into a wonderful career or graduate study. It happens all the time.</p>
<p>Finally, undergraduate study is where it all begins, not ends. Graduate school is where you really get granular and focus on specific programs. And kids from all sorts of schools get into prestigious graduate programs. </p>
<p>Of course he can always transfer up after a year at UCSC or elsewhere. But I never recommend that unless there is a compelling reason, besides prestige.</p>
<p>Dance with the one who brung you, they say. </p>
<p>And wait until he hears from every college he applied to. Its not an IQ test. A great deal of luck goes into the admissions process. Kids get in who surprise you and gets get rejected who surprise you. But in September, it will all be wonderful as he moves into his dorm and makes new friends and starts his new life as a college student! </p>
<p>Tell him congratulations from everyone here who posts at CC and keep his chin up! He is already a HUGE success, just going to college!</p>
<p>n.b., getting into ANY of the UC’s is very, very difficult because of the sheer numbers of applications. Its very daunting. Tens of thousands of applicants to every school. So in one sense he is lucky to be accepted to one of them (and get that REALLY good value!) Life is serendipitous. He will be fine.</p>