As things wind up here in our household for my son, I am sitting here remembering how this whole thing played out 8 years ago when my daughter was auditioning for programs. Her story is one that took a circuitous route with many disappointments that, ultimately, found her on the path to success.
Her mother and I are both alums of Northwestern. Her entire childhood, our daughter would listen to us talk about our incredible time at NU and our classmates who became great successes (Megan Mullally, Julia Louis Dreyfuss, Marg Helgenberger, Jayne Atkinson, etc.). She was determined that she would go to NU. She applied and, despite the fact that she had four immediate relatives as alumni, did not get accepted. It devastated her. We jumped into the BFA audition fray (NYC Unifieds) without any idea of what we were doing despite the fact that we both (her parents) work in the business. The college audition world was something new. That inexperience didn’t work in her favor and nothing really happened.
So, she took a gap year and worked to prepare for the next round of auditions. We hired coaches (acting and vocal) thinking that would fill in the gaps. For us, that was not the best decision. Unfortunately, despite all of the money we paid, these coaches were not subtle as to who they thought would be accepted and who wouldn’t. My daughter was abandoned by her coaches when she went to the Chicago Unifieds. She was on her own. This time around she was academically accepted to every school she applied to (20 schools) and was artistically accepted to Millikin and Shenandoah (from a video audition). She chose Millikin.
For various reasons, this did not ultimately pan out for her and she went from program to program over the course of 3 years. In the end, she left college without her degree on the urging of a Department Head who said she was ready to be out there and that school just wasn’t for her.
He was right. She has worked steadily ever since at some great Regional theatres, Disney World, and, now, before her move to NYC, for the next 6 months she will tour the Baltics and the Mediterranean on a new ocean liner.
The moral is that there is no one path. There never has been. Rejections are a part of this business and they are rarely a reflection of your true talent. Talent is only one of the ingredients needed for success in this business. You also need luck and perseverance. (And, even then, there are no guarantees).
We ache for our kids when they receive disappointing news. The best thing we can do is to be realistic about the tough road ahead and encourage them if they have the passion and drive to go on despite the ‘nos.’
At Juilliard this year, the head of the department said that “an actor’s job is to audition and to be rejected. The ‘yesses’ are the vacation when you get to do what you love and have worked so hard to accomplish.” I’ve been fortunate to make my living in this business for over 30 years now and, I can tell you, he’s right.
