<p>^^^^ Not touchin’ that line. I’ll leave that to violadad :D</p>
<p>Um, that’s what SHE said.</p>
<p>Anyway, it being a sober, quiet Sunday morning, I find myself returning to the cold hard fact that S1 hasn’t actually been accepted anywhere yet, shocking as that may seem. We had anticipated calls from HY-GOT-PMS by now, telling him that there was no need to bother with pesky applications, but so far nothing. Perhaps I need to explore whether or not our answering machine is in good working order.</p>
<p>To while away the time until those personal calls pour in, I’ve begun work on an important side project. You see, D attends one of those “huh?” schools - you know, the kind with absolutely zero dry-cleaner recognition, the kind that neighbors sometimes fail to appreciate appropriately.</p>
<p>In case this tragedy befalls S also, I’m putting together a dry-cleaner education project, a sort of combination direct mail and postering effort, designed to help the lesser elements understand how praiseworthy my children’s (and, I suppose, others’?) achievements actually are. So that when WE march into the dry-cleaners’, or the grocery store, and the checker asks S1 - and S2 of course - where they’re going, they will fawn over them as they should. </p>
<p>I need a catchy name, though. What do you think of Informing Dry-cleaners In Our TownS (IDIOTS)?</p>
<p>Harriet, I love it. S attends a top 40 (OK, top 32, but I don’t wanna brag) LAC about 5 hours from home. Some people don’t know of it, others say, “Now where is that located?” and others confuse it with our hated-archrival school (that is the cruelest cut of all). </p>
<p>Let me know what you come up with. In fact, perhaps you could turn this into a franchised business? Those of us whose outstanding children are not properly appreciated by the locals could sign up, buy a kit, and educate the local populace so that our egos would be properly inflated by the fawning of others. Oops, I mean our kids’ egos, of course.</p>
<p>^^^Now I’m spewing coffee, Harriet. I will be the first purchaser of your mail order education kit for IDIOTS. Prob. is, people here know of S2’s school but still give me that “hmmm…tapping side of head hoping it will all make sense” look when I tell them. Not in danger any fawning, only looks of disapproval and shock. I guess the IDIOTS in their idiocracy think only an idiot would go to that school.</p>
<p>Harriet, although I liked your “IDIOTS” project, I intend to drag the discussion back to an item you posted a page or so back, about the giant car window stickers or flashing signs. </p>
<p>Most of our neighbors have simply purchased new cars in one of the school colors, and then had the name of the school professionally painted on the side of the car, in a style consistent with the “graphic identity” of the university. H and Y both allow for tasteful color options. For P, I think you have to go with a black car, with discreet orange lettering–otherwise, there’s too much risk of being mistaken for a taxicab or the Geek Squad. (For M and C . . . well, then you <em>are</em> the Geek Squad, by proxy.) I also recommend replacing the standard horn with one that plays the school fight song.</p>
<p>Oddly, you’ll find that other drivers respond to your new car(s) with either excessively deferential courtesy or inexplicable road rage.</p>
<p>(And, yes, I know what you mean about the dry cleaner issue. A relative attended Kenyan College in Gambia, OH.)</p>
<p>Also, I see that I left out explicit mention of S above. At my age, a car in “cardinal” just says “mid-life crisis” and “speeding-ticket magnet,” while a car in “crimson” says “My dog attends Harvard.”</p>
<p>Ha ha, my car was already DS’s school’s color - a lovely Maroon. So I just need to have the name of the college stenciled in tasteful yet large letters on the door? I have the sticker in the rear window, but as Harriet said it’s not nearly large enough!</p>
<p>Quant Mech, that little Kenyan College in Gambia sounds nice. They must do a lot of foreign study, no? Also, don’t they make those “DOG” decals, like the PARENT and ALUM ones? If not, I think you may have found a means to defray some of your tuition expenses. . . .</p>
<p>Speaking of which, Lafalum, do let’s work together on the IDIOTS franchise.</p>
<p>One of our cars is already in the bright red of the local, excellent, moderately-priced public university.</p>
<p>I’ll tell S this is a sign he should go there. All we have to do is put the school’s name & logo on in big black letters.</p>
<p>Oh, painting on letters could prove unwise. Some competitive type neighbors (not that anyone I know would ever do so) just might get even larger letters…never implying of course that their child/school is superior…just, you know…showing great support.</p>
<p>This would never do…Maybe it’s time to go all out and produce collegiate total car wraps with names,logos and mascots parading proudly from bumper to bumper.<br>
Imagine the possibilities.</p>
<p>Do these cars come complete with a built-in GPS, with Pathway A pre-programmed? Or did we decide it’s Pathway B?</p>
<p>Child 1 took Pathway A. Child 2 took Pathway B. I’m frantically hoping there is a Pathway C 'cause Child 3 sure as heck isn’t going to follow A or B. Any built in GPS had better come with multiple pre-programmed settings. And how about a Pathway of least resistence? Can we get one of those configured in there, too? </p>
<p>NO? Okay, then, I’m going back to reviewing how to manipulate the college visit…</p>
<p>I think my neighbor hijacked the “manipulate the college visit” idea, only instead of roommates & floormates for the overnight, she hired a someone to be the tour guide instead. Think about it - wouldn’t it be easier and cheaper to hire a tour guide to turn your kid off to an undesirable school in an hour, rather than having to find someone to be the inappropriate roommate all night?</p>
<p>She took 3 boys (her son and 2 friends) on a tour of an expensive highly ranked school. All 3 are top students at our high school. One of these young men is being recruited by several schools for basketball, one is a top wrestler, and one runs track. Two want to major in science, and one wants pre-Law (he wants to go to DC and work for Republican causes). Their tour guide? A bookish female who was majoring in English and minoring in Women’s Studies. She knew virtually nothing about any sports at the school at all. If my neighbor was trying to turn the boys off from this school, then her tour guide was an unqualified success! She even sweetened the pot, by earlier taking these same 3 boys to the arch-rival school, where they had an enthusiastic male basketball player for a tour guide!</p>
<p>Harriet, how do we get started with the educating IDIOTS project?</p>
<p>Lafalum, yes, I like the tour guide mercenaries approach. </p>
<p>IDIOTS literature probably could begin with some kind of general, mildly condescending statement, such as the all-purpose “Have you ever failed to realize just how brilliant and talented my children are?” I’m not sure, though; it might be too direct.</p>
<p>While we’re pondering that, what do you all think of having S2 (the first grader) call the admissions officers of S1’s schools, and tell them all how awesome his older brother is? I feel that the six-year-old perspective is something that’s all too often neglected or even outright missing from the admissions process. And since S2 is on the right path, I’m sure he could speak to S1’s strengths vis a vis that path. Surely you all agree with me.</p>
<p>Harriet, if S2 is at ALL photogenic, and I’m sure he must be (otherwise, why talk about him at all?), why not make a little DVD for the admissions offices? After all, a picture is worth a thousand words, so they say. Does he sing? Dance? The more the better, I say, in order to demonstrate how amazing his older brother is. Imagine the surprise of the Admissions Office when they start up that DVD player!</p>
<p>vulture, I think my S has perfected the Pathway of Least Resistance.</p>
<p>Oh, Tiredofsnow, what a PERFECT idea. (Of course he’s photogenic; aren’t all Proper Pathway children? He also works and plays well with others and is a very, very advanced tooth brusher.) Maybe I can photoshop different schools’ sweatshirts onto S2 in the DVD, so that we can customize it for each school. </p>
<p>I do wish I could see the faces of the regional reps as they watch. Wouldn’t that be something.</p>
<p>I’m not sure a sweatshirt would be appropriate. What about a school tie instead? Perhaps the school fight song playing in the background?</p>
<p>Harriet, on further thought, since your S1 and my S are probably not applying to the same schools, and my S is younger-brother deprived, well, you see where I’m going with this. I think it could be lucrative for you to custom-design YBE’s (Younger Brother Endorsements) and make them available for those of us searching for the Right Pathway. I mean, for those of us who have CHILDREN searching for the Right Pathway. </p>
<p>And I agree with binx. Although a sweatshirt would be appropriate for the odd large state school (and maybe incorporate a football somehow?), perhaps a more refined approach would be better for the Ivys and the exclusive LACs.</p>
<p>ohh…oh… I’ve got it! We can merge all these ideas for our IDIOTS material! Large car magnets with color photos of handsome younger siblings smiling and a sign that reads, “My big brother/sister attends Prestige University!” That way, people can admire both/all of our wonderful children.</p>
<p>Lafalum, binx, Tiredofsnow, I think we’ve almost got it. There’s just one thing missing. Wait, it’s coming to me. The sign* needs to read, “My big brother/sister attends Prestige U - THANKS TO OUR MOM!” That way, people will be sure to admire not only our wonderful children but the people who put them on Prestige Path in the first place.</p>
<p>*on the car magnets - it’ll be the opening credits of the DVD. With tasteful renditions of school songs in the background. And yes okay a school tie on S2, but this may be at the cost of his cheerful, winsome grin. Perhaps the admissions officers will read the look of mutiny as Determination?</p>