A must read 'laugh until you cry' story by Dave Barry

<p>bethievt, the esophagus and stomach procedure I had was called an Endoscopy, too. I just couldn’t remember the name of it when I was typing my post late last night. They totally knocked me out, or otherwise so sedated me, that I didn’t remember the procedure at all afterward. This was when it was confirmed that I have a Hiatal Hernia, just like my Dad’s.</p>

<p>Oh rapture!..:rolleyes:</p>

<p>I’m beginning to think everyone has a hiatal hernia and acid reflux!</p>

<p>Yes, Bethie, that’s what it was! I used fleet phosphate and also took some pills…dulcolax, I think. It really wasn’t too bad.</p>

<p>I must have had the sadistic dr compared to all of you. I had TWO DAYS of prep. I had the procedure on Monday. Before that I had to go on a clear liquid diet on Saturday, then Sunday I had to drink that awful lemony-salty fleet phospho-prep. On the Saturday we went to my niece’s First Communion, all this wonderful food and I just looked at the food and drank Sierra Mist all day long. </p>

<p>But I will say on Sunday, after I choked down the phospho-stuff, I did not have any cramping or violent “spurting” (not to be vulgar, just quoting Dave) that others report. Although I was in the bathroom fairly often, I didn’t have to RUSH to the bathroom at all. In fact, my daughter had a performance that evening, I went and watched with no problem (just a restroom break during intermission). Perhaps it was the clear liquids for 24 hours before, there wasn’t much food in me to begin with. </p>

<p>That said, by Monday morning I felt gross. Weak and feverish, turned out the nurses said I was fairly dehydrated and it was causing a mild fever, they really turned up the IV solution before my procedure. I have no memory of the procedure or of the dr talking to me in recovery. I felt really weak and tired afterward. </p>

<p>But after a good meal and a good night’s sleep, I was pretty normal the next day!</p>

<p>Totally not a procedure to fear. And I lost about 3 pounds - yay - but of course they came right back.</p>

<p>MY ADVICE - during the prep, have some moist towelettes on hand - like baby wipes or packaged moist wipes. I have heard several people complain that their butt felt like their nose when you have a cold and blow your nose often - raw and sore from all the wiping. But with the moist wipes, it was no problem at all. Not to be gross or anything…</p>

<p>The wet wipes are a good idea.</p>

<p>Oh, my tip: Do NOT watch ‘Fear Factor’ during the prep. For some reason, watching them eat leeches or whatever on top of drinking the gross lemon phosphate really made my gag reflexes go overtime.</p>

<p>^^^I don’t need the phosphate for Fear Factor to have that effect.</p>

<p>Dunno why, but I feel like I should add this disclaimer:
I rarely watch Fear Factor, but was stuck in a hotel room on prep day, and had to watch SOMETHING.</p>

<p>LOL!
(10 char)</p>

<p>well, this thread certainly took a different focus than I thought it would. </p>

<p>I also sent out the link in an e-mail to many of my friends and family, and received all kinds of responses, similar to many I’ve read here.</p>

<p>Both my parents had diverticulitis (my dad almost died from it - when he finally went into surgery, he had a 50/50 chance of surviving it). My oldest brother responded to me that he’s already had three colonoscopies, and one showed he has diverticulosis (and I assume diverticulitis as he mentioned being put on antibiotics). But he’s 16 years older than me, and I’m not 50 yet (two years to go), so I hadn’t given any thought to getting the test yet. I do see a gastroenterologist every year for my GERD medication updates… she is aware of my family history (this year I will have to add my brother to the list) and has not suggested a test any earlier - of course, other than the GERD, I am asymptomatic. </p>

<p>BethieVT - I agree with you on the acid reflux and GERD epidemic. For all these years that I’ve been followed by my gastroenterologist, I’ve never asked her about the hiatal hernia, though. It’s also on my list to ask this spring when I see her. She’s very, very thorough, so I’m sure she would have mentioned it if she suspected it, but I find it interesting that there’s such a big correlation between the two.</p>

<p>I’ve had the endoscopic procedure twice now… the last time a couple of years ago, in which they also did a manometry test (to test my esophageal function) and then placed a capsule in my esophagus to monitor the acid reflux for 24 hours. I had to be completely awake while they did the manometry test - no sedation because it could skew the results of measuring muscle function. It was not a fun procedure, but I survived. I did get myself so worked up that they had to give me 16 mg. of versed (I think the typical is more like 5-6 mg.), which is almost unheard of. I don’t remember it, but they said I was very restless and agitated, most likely carrying the stress from the manometry test. During the manometry test, I remember my heart rate being very high and my blood pressure being up, too, due to the fear and stress. I have a repaired cleft palate, with a repaired deviated septum, and there were some concerns about getting the tube through my nose down my throat. Thankfully they tried one side, didn’t make it, then tried the other, and got it on the first try (they were going to abandon the test if they couldn’t get it down after two tries). Since my current gastroenterologist will probably do my colonoscopy when I’m due, she will be tuned into my sedation needs.</p>

<p>I do have a question, though, regarding the prep. If the drink is so horrible, and it sounds as if some people have had a hard time with the drink, what happens if you go through all the prep and throw it up? Also, what if you’re hypoglycemic? How do you handle the not eating anything?</p>

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<p>You can take in calories, but they must all be liquid: Jello, chicken broth, clear sodas like sprite or 7up, etc.</p>

<p>I think if you vomited the prep stuff, you’d have to call the Dr’s office and get advice on a different one to try.</p>

<p>For all the kvetching (sp?) I’ve heard about the prep, I have yet to hear about anyone “sending it back up.” Not that my sample size is enormous, but the subject does arise frequently as my friends and I are all “that age” now.</p>

<p>Mom died of colon cancer at 60. I had my first scope at 45 (one polyp) and my second at 50 (clean – so to speak). Unlike some others, I stayed awake and watched the pictures on the screen. I was thoroughly doped up, mind you, and didn’t really pay much attention to the medical folks, but watching the camera shot was kind of cool.</p>

<p>Oh yeah, get 'scoped. My mom didn’t and died after three years of complete misery. Huge mistake…</p>

<p>Wow, condolences, WashDad. We are very lucky to live in an era where there is prevention available for this terrible disease.</p>

<p>When my then 12 year old had to take the prep, she had to drink phosphosoda…it was vile and she kept throwing it up. My husband had to drink Miralax mixed with crystal light lemonade…no problems with that prep.</p>

<p>I had a terrible reaction to the phosphate stuff. I got very dehydrated and during the night I was shaking and chilled, had the worst headache of my life and generally felt like I had the flu. When I got to the doctor, I could barely speak coherently and my blood pressure was very low. Nothing that IV fluids didn’t fix but the doctor did say that every once in a while someone reacts to that stuff like it’s poison and that I was one of those people. Not sure what I’ll do the next time I need to have the procedure.</p>

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<p>Oh, indeed it can and does sometimes get sent back up. Ask me how I know :rolleyes:</p>

<p>oh dear. that sounds dreadful.</p>

<p>(Obviously, my sample size IS too small!)</p>

<p>Great Dave Barry column! He always makes me laugh! </p>

<p>My insurance won’t pay for the procedure unless there are ‘symptoms’ and the procedure is prohibitively expensive to pay out of pocket. I’m tempted to tell my doctor I’ve seen blood in my stool even though there has been no blood. Would that be terribly wrong? </p>

<p>I don’t want to lie, but I don’t want to have cancer growing in my colon either! Makes me angry that my insurance would pay for cancer procedures out the wazoo (what a pun!), but won’t pay for the diagnostic test to catch the disease early and avoid bigger, more expensive procedures. We had the same problem with pap tests until fairly recently when state law forced them to pay. They’d pay for the lab work, but not for the office visit! Makes no sense to me… Thoughts?? Similar experiences??</p>

<p>Your Dr. might ask you to first do a fecal occult blood test, which you do at home and mail in. If you want to skew the results (not that I would ever recommend such a thing) you can ignore the protocol and eat rare, red meat in the days leading to the test.</p>