A must read 'laugh until you cry' story by Dave Barry

<p>My doctor knew all about the recent vacation I took, because I apparently talked about it through the whole procedure. But I have no memory of the talking or the procedure after the first few seconds.<br>
My prep was a lot of some thick gooey stuff I had to drink (between gaggings). If there’s something better I’d like to know, as it’s almost time again.</p>

<p>Very funny piece. </p>

<p>Another good thing: If you get a clean report, you don’t have to have another colonoscopy for ten years. With any luck, ten years forward they’ll have developed a less intrusive method of examining colons, or at least a less revolting prep!</p>

<p>there is a new procedure called virtual colonoscopy, but you still have to prep. I don’t think that part is ever going to go away because they need to have a clean view. </p>

<p><a href=“http://www.medicinenet.com/virtual_colonoscopy/article.htm[/url]”>http://www.medicinenet.com/virtual_colonoscopy/article.htm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>But with the virtual colonoscopy, don’t you miss out on the Good Drugs? ;)</p>

<p>Boy sign me up.
The last procedure I had- was about 8 years ago, but I think I must have had a general- although my recovery room was a chair behind a partition & I not only went home the same day- but I puked for about three days after- apparently from the anesthesia.</p>

<p>I think I would rather have stuff coming out the other end.
:p</p>

<p>Jym626, the pill version is better than the yucky liquid, but it’s no picnic, either. The pills are huge and VERY salty and you have to drink a ton of water with each one.</p>

<p>also with the pills there is chance you won’t be ‘cleaned out’ enough. that happened to my neighbor. She was sent home after prepping and being put under. How much does that suck!</p>

<p>She will be doing the same prep I did the next time. </p>

<p><a href=“yh0612cc银河|官方在线”>yh0612cc银河|官方在线;

<p>I don’t think the virtual option is a wise choice. If they find something (like pre-cancerous polyps), they can’t snip them out and then you have to go through the prep twice!</p>

<p>There is also a chance you won’t be ‘cleaned out’ enough with the liquid prep. That’s what happened to me. Actually, NOTHING HAPPENED, so I had to re-schedule the procedure for the following week. Second try, the pills worked just fine.</p>

<p>Sounds like each of the preps a have their own “issues”. Choking down that much liquid is tough enough, and the super salty, lemon-lime flavoring made it harder. If someone can come up with a “quick and dirty” (pun intended) prep method, they could make a fortune.</p>

<p>toneranger-- agreed about the virtual colonoscopy. Its great as long as the findings are negative. Why cant the just go in with the scope and snip out the polyp if they find something? Perhaps they should have the equipment ready just in case??</p>

<p>Oh and skie–
I wanted to say something clever about your lack of response to the liquid prep, but… naahhhhh. Some things are just better left unsaid!</p>

<p>“I don’t think the virtual option is a wise choice. If they find something (like pre-cancerous polyps), they can’t snip them out and then you have to go through the prep twice!”</p>

<p>Another problem is polyps less than 5mm, which can be cancerous, aren’t detected with the virtual colonoscopy.</p>

<p>maybe Skie is just less “full of …” that substance than the rest of us are.</p>

<p>For those of you without health insurance, and without $4000-6000, ask your physician about having a new DNA mutation stool test. You get a kit from the lab, collect an entire stool as a specimen, and then you turn it into the lab. It can identify precancerous or cancerous changes in the cells cast off into the colon. If the test is negative, you can pospone a colonoscopy for 2-3 years. (or repeat the test in 2-3 years.) It is $400-500 dollars, and I know it as Progen plus from Labcorp. There may be others. Receently, the national body that puts out recommendations (ACS) did add this test as well as virtual colonoscopies to the list of what one can do for colon screening.<a href=“http://news.yahoo.com/s/acs/20080306/hl_acs/prevention_the_focus_of_new_colon_cancer_screening_guidelines[/url]”>http://news.yahoo.com/s/acs/20080306/hl_acs/prevention_the_focus_of_new_colon_cancer_screening_guidelines&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I agree with the comments about the virtual test–You still need to prep, and if they find things, you will still have to reprep for the colonoscopy to remove them. Not to many places are set up to run the virtual scan, read it immediately, and then have a GI available to to the colonoscopy immediately. Those with positive studies will end up doing it twice. And they still miss small lesions.</p>

<p>ACS site:<a href=“http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_4_3X_Can_colon_and_rectum_cancer_be_found_early.asp[/url]”>http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_4_3X_Can_colon_and_rectum_cancer_be_found_early.asp&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>do you really think people w/o health insurance are going to pay $400-500 out of pocket for a colonoscopy. (plus the prep stuff was a level 3 copay meaning I paid $35 and I have insurance) I bet you can count the number of uninsured people who would do that on one hand. I know people with insurance that won’t pay to diagnose something they don’t think they have.</p>

<p>Well, sue, for what one person’s story is worth, until recently, I paid for my own insurance. It had a very high deductable and was not terribly comprehensive. When our doctor recommended screenings, we had them and paid for them.</p>

<p>Not all doctors put you out. Make sure that the one you choose does. Some very well known MD’s in my area just use a bit of valium OK, I’m convinced. I’m going to get it done for the first time–I think. Thanks for the article.</p>

<p>I have a history of colon cancer on both sides of my family (father’s mother & mother’s father), so "doctors placed me in a fairly high risk category. My first colonoscopy was at age 44. I’ve had two since then, the last being in January. </p>

<p>Unfortunately, I have something called, an “extremely redundant colon”, which supposedly means my colon is quite a bit more convoluted than average. As a result, the Gastroenterologist has never been able to feed the scope all the way through my colon. They always get to a certain point, and have to stop, or otherwise risk perforating my colon. All three times in which I’ve had this procedure, they’ve had to order a follow-up radiological procedure requiring a barium enema in order to get a look at what the scope missed. This procedure is not as thorough, and has been known to miss polyps that the colonoscope would have detected. Yes, it involves prepping twice in the same week! This last time, I prepped on a Tuesday evening for a Wednesday morning colonoscopy, and again on that Thursday evening for a Friday morning barium screening. Couple this with the fact that I’d had a scoping procedure of the esophagus and stomach on Monday of that week, and I ended up eating next to nothing for that entire week! I was weak with hunger come Friday.</p>

<p>I always have a horrendous time with the preps. Each time, I’ve have a harder time keeping that awful tasting liquid down. But, it’s true that once you finish the prep, the actual procedure is a snap. I loved that floaty, divinely relaxed feeling the “happy drugs” give you, and I loved having an excuse to sleep through much of the day after the procedure. But the barium procedure is another story altogether. Talk about uncomfortable—dare I say, even painful! And no happy drugs! They found three small pre-cancerous polyps this last time, and I will need to be screened every two to three years. Doctors tell me chances are very small that they will ever be able to get the colonoscope all the way through my colon. So I will always need two preps and two different procedures for each screening!:(</p>

<p>Wow. Condolences. But, better than colon cancer, I bet. And given your high risk, there’s really no alternative, is there.</p>

<p>My Dr. recommended Fleets Phospho-soda. I only had to drink a small amount and I diluted it with Crystal Light lemonade, which has a very strong flavor. Then I sucked on a fruit candy to take care of aftertaste. Worked great. The whole thing was so easy and the next day floaty feeling was quite pleasant. I had a very bad experience with an endoscopy several years ago–they must not have sedated me enough–and that probably was a factor in why I put it off for 5 years. I’m so glad I finally did it–don’t put it off!!</p>