A Nonnative's Journey to Becoming a Great Communicator

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Hello,</p>

<p>I’ve been living in Canada for 10 years. I came here when I was in grade three. I can communicate well, or at least express myself clearly and fully, via written forms of communication like email, but I can’t do that in person or via telephone; my oral communication ability is lacking.</p>

<p>Many natives often tell me that, in writing, I give off an impression that I’m a fluent speaker of English; in person, however, some even ask me if I’m new to Canada. It’s not that I have a weird accent or anything. It’s probably because, in oral communications, people expect others to talk off the cuff, usually taking no more than 5~10 seconds to respond. If you take more time than that in oral communication, you’ll often, but not always, look unnatural and strange. Because of that, to avoid awkwardness and embarrassment, I’m usually forced to express myself in 5~10 seconds by using simple sentences which never convey myself fully and clearly. And, my saying mostly simple sentences gives others an impression that I’m a beginner of the English language and that I’m unable to formulate complex sentences.</p>

<p>Why my written English is far superior to my oral English is that I usually have infinite time to say, edit, and add what I want to say, while trying to minimize any mistakes in grammar, word choice, and many other things that might interfere with listeners’ understanding. </p>

<p>One of the reasons that contributes to this problem would be that I can’t think in English. It’s faster and more comfortable to think in my native language, and, usually, I even have do a direct translation between my native language and English.</p>

<p>It amazes me when I see non-natives speak and communicate really well to fully express themselves just as native English speakers do. What could be the secret, with the exception of just being born in an English-speaking country?</p>

<p>Sorry for such a not-so-short post, but I don’t want to try to condense it anymore, because I already spent 40 minutes on this. :frowning: (I usually don’t have this much free time. I could do this only because tomorrow is Saturday)</p>

<p>Thank you for reading.</p>

2

<p>Talking sounds like a difficult exercise for you. I’m guessing you probably try to avoid much verbal communication, because it is hard. And you know all the rules, and want to follow them, so your responses are delayed, as you evaluate what you are going to say. All of us who speak English effortlessly, grew in our verbal abilities over a period of time, and are hopefully still improving to some extent. But we plunge in, whether age 3 or age 50, with varying levels of expertise, as it is the only way we know to communicate. We don’t have another language to fall back on. Babies make years of mistakes before they become fluent. Most language learners make many mistakes, especially the effective ones. You need to plunge in as well, talk in many situations, and talk a lot without thinking about mistakes. You will make some, maybe quite a lot of mistakes. But that is ok. It needs to become an automatic process, and your good knowledge of the language in time will surface in your verbal abilities. </p>

<p>Do you have a friend that you can practice language with? Converse with? Find someone to whom you can admit what you did above, and schedule some regular conversation time. Push yourself to talk more than you are normally comfortable with and don’t worry about grammer or stumbling over words. In addition, read a lot, trashy novels, or whatever you can read quickly, to pick up speech patterns, language use patterns. Listen to talk radio, CBC, anything verbal. Watch TV for the verbal content. I normally hate TV, but think it is quite useful for language learners. In sum, flood your world with English, and thoughts might start appearing in English. Or not. A French friend said she never thought in English, though her speech was clear and a pleasure listen to. With more exposure, and practice, your speech will improve, though it may not be as perfect as you want for a time.</p>

3

<p>Thank you for your advice, great lakes mom. It’s really great! I appreciate it very much. :)</p>

4

<p>I think people might be more understanding if you just start out with explaining that English isn’t your first language and you’re still picking up on it. Once you get that out of the way, do all that you can to practice English and hopefully you’ll become fluent at some point. In this case, the adage “practice makes perfect” holds true, keep at it!</p>

5

<p>Do you speak your native language a lot? That can hamper your growth in English speaking skills. My parents came to the US from Eastern Europe as adults, never having spoken English. They spoke to us in English, and tried to speak to each other in English as much as possible, switching to their native tongue only when they didn’t want us or others to understand! Except for their accents, they learned to speak like native speakers - my father even became adept at puns, which is much harder. My mother said she really began to feel like an American when she began to dream in English!</p>

<p>As great lakes mom said, there’s no secret. It’s just Practice, Practice, Practice! And this is one situation in which I would recommend - TV! The more you listen to casual conversation, as well as speaking it, the easier conversing will become.</p>

6

<p>What great lakes mom said.</p>

<p>I also have a question: are you a bit of a perfectionist?</p>

7

<p>Look into Toastmasters:</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.toastmasters.org/[/url]”>Toastmasters International -Unexpected Error;

<p>They have clubs in Canada. I knew someone who was a native English speaker who froze up in conversational situations. He joined Toastmasters. Toastmasters helps people think and speak. Check to see if there is a club in your area.</p>

<p>I am not a club member and have no ties to the organization.</p>