Agree. $40,000 per year after taxes is not much less than the median household income in the US. Surely there are millions of households (including one person households) living on that much or less. And those households surely exist even in high cost of living areas.
EDIT: obviously, there may be some additional costs specific to the OP’s daughter’s situation.
Ummm, my glasses cost $750 when I didn’t have insurance. Frames were about $120 – the rest of it was a funky prescription with prisms and progressives. Now that we have vision coverage, they cost me about $250. I have to get new ones every 18 months or so.
Dstark, does your D have good medical coverage? Is your D able to drive or are the car expenses to be incurred by someone who is taking her shopping, to a job, etc.? Does she have dental coverage? A root canal and crown add up really quickly, and most plans only cover $1500 in expenses.
We didn’t spend $700/mo on groceries when we had four people in the house. Now that S2 is back (and he’s a serious cook), we’re at about $500 a month. For just DH and me, it’s more like $375-400.
My daughter has very good medical coverage and very good dental care.
My daughter is healthy.
She is having a great life. It’s just a different life than most.
“Ummm, my glasses cost $750 when I didn’t have insurance. Frames were about $120 – the rest of it was a funky prescription with prisms and progressives. Now that we have vision coverage, they cost me about $250. I have to get new ones every 18 months or so.”
I agree that glasses can be very expensive. I couldn’t judge what someone elses prescription might cost, most of the cost is in the lenses, as was yours. Even though the glasses I just ordered cost less than $400 (some sort of funky trifocal lenses), the frame was pretty cheap. It’s not always a matter of being able to get something inexpensive. The lens the doctor wanted me to get cost over $700, but I wasn’t willing to go for that. Maybe she recommended something similar to yours, made with a special material.
The overall point being, that a certain amount allotted for an expense can sound reasonable for the general population. But when you look at the specific item that YOU need, it could end up being far more costly. It’s hard to extrapolate what you need to spend, based upon what the average person spends, I think.
Another data point. My mom has Graves so I’m well aware of how expensive things can get with extreme outliers. Her glasses have all sorts of funky things going on and she has to get new ones every time she has eye surgery… On top of the usual ones.
Again though, that’s not typical. We all have some things that are outliers and should be considered but not thought of as typical.
For example, I usually end up going to the ER once a year for something or other and the urgent care probably every 2-3 months. I’m accident prone and have immune issues. I wouldn’t tell most young people to budget for that though because most people aren’t, unlike me, going to break their foot stepping down a stair from the dining room to the kitchen.
But this is yet another reason why it’s so important to not spend right up to your take home pay and build a solid savings cushion whenever possible.
Further, people who know that they’re going to have high expenses like that should be able to plan ahead to the extent possible. Bad eyes? Reduce your spending somewhere or invest in vision insurance if possible.
Dstark, best of luck to your D. I’m sure she’ll do wonderfully with her budget 
In more recent year I had to start shopping for grocery. I was paying for grocery before, but was not as aware of how much we were spending. I can get by with $100/week, but it is only for breakfast and dinner.
My mother has no mortgage, but has a very large home to maintain. She spends 2500-3000 a month. She has a car, socializes few times a week, and gives money to her grandchildren whenever she sees them. My dad left her with fair amount of money, but she is not dipping into it. She has always been frugal, so it is hard for her “go wild.”
Congrats on your daughter being able to live independently! I see that many of my questions have been asked: Is she able to drive or are her transportation costs for a taxi/bus/uber/driver? Can she cook (shop, meal plan, cook safely, etc) or are meals prepared or pre-made? Does healthcare include personal hygiene items, toiletries, paper goods, pain relievers/cold meds, and other basic staples for a bathroom, etc? Does she exercise? Is this done at home or walking, or does she have a gym membership? Also agree that there should be a small line item for unexpected incidentals (small discretionary fund) and also savings. Good luck!
@jym626, I didn’t really want to go into that much detail.
My daughter still lives with us. I was trying to come up with a budget if my wife and I died. We don’t expect to die for a long time.
My daughter will be able to live independently if we die. There is a support network lined up.
When I add up all the estimates, I think the aggregate number is close. I was asking if the $40,000 number looks reasonable. Obviously, an item like housing can vary and affect the numbers quite a bit. I was asking if those estimates in individual categories look reasonable. If I was missing anything.
We have plans in place if my wife and I die today. We are going to tweak these plans. We are seeing attorneys.
I thought I would see if we are missing something before I pay attorneys.
For my daughter, The transportation number is too high. Health care is a little high. If I add toiletries, and cleaning supplies in and reduce health care, the individual estimates would be more accurate. Housing is too low. I didn’t list savings.
Having said this, I am not asking for others to come up with an aggregate budget for the next 70 years. My wife and I are going to do that.
My daughter exercises. She is in great shape.
Ok. I think that is enough detail.
Didn’t mean to sound like I was prying ;( Was just trying to think of the little details. Makeup and ladies personal hygiene stuff adds up 
Sounds like you have a good plan, and with your financial acumen, you should do fine. Add a very nice life insurance policy on the 2 of you and she will be all set
I don’t need the life insurance policy. It’s a financial loser.
If you had a very robust policy, would you be better off alive or dead?? :-S
(I haven’t read the entire thread, so if someone has mentioned this, I apologize for the redundancy.)
$40,000 is not a bad salary in Iowa
I imagine that it’s a pretty decent amount in many rural areas, in the South, in much of the Midwest, and in certain other areas of the nation.
But if you are paying $2000+ per month to rent an apartment in, say, New York City, Boston or San Francisco… that would be more than two-thirds of the monthly income available after taxes. In which case, just a few three-digit bills, along with gas and food, and the budget would be pretty tight.
Financially,My daughter is fine whether I am dead or alive.
I would be better off alive.
LOL-- Guess you and she would be better of if you were alive.
LOL
dstark - You seem to be a planner and a very thoughtful one. If you don’t mind, I would like to share two different situations with you.
I have a very good friend, whose brother is a very smart, but not very functional person. I don’t exactly know what the brother’s issue is. The family is well off, meaning they could provide him well after the parents were passed away. Very early on, the parents moved the brother to an apartment for him to live by himself. He had people who checked up on him, he had a minimum wage job, a center where went to on a regular basis. They taught him to do as much for himself as possible, and created a circle of friends/support for him. In the last 20 years, I heard from my friend of various issues and mishaps with her brother - from walking out of his job, not tidying up his room to breaking up with his girlfriend, bouncing checks, etc. The parents did a great job of modifying necessary support for the brother. A year ago, the father passed away and the mother is rather frail. But the brother handled the father’s passing very well, and his life is rather stable. My friend is to be her brother’s caretaker after the parents are no longer around. She always worried if it would be too much for her to handle. She told me recently that she is spending more time to take care of her mother than her brother because he is doing quite well. He even has a long term GF.
My ex-H has a step brother who was born with low IQ. The family, again very well off, could provide for him. The stepfather did not want the brother to learn a trade or live by himself. He stayed home most of the time, and had someone to help him. The stepfather passed away suddenly, and my MIL was not allowed to see him for quite some time after the divorce, the brother is left by himself most of the time now. He has no skill, never worked, and never lived by himself. I don’t know how he is doing because I do not speak with my ex that often.
dstark - If you haven’t thought of it, while you are still around, it maybe a good idea to have your D start living by herself if that’s your plan for her. It will take some getting used to, and she may stumble at times, but it is better for it to happen now than when you are not around. You could observe to see what works well for her and what’s not, and adjust her environment/support accordingly.
Hope I didn’t butt in too much.
@oldfort, those anecdotes are good. Thanks.
Housing is a very big issue. Plus there is that emotional issue when the parents die.
My wife and I have looked at these issues for awhile. We recently talked with somebody very knowledgable about the disabled community and housing. She has been involved in the community for 25 to 30 years.
Together we looked at various options. Before the meeting, I thought my daughter was going to be leaving the house in a few years. At the end of the meeting, I asked the consultant, what would you do?
She said, “I would keep her with you for 20 years”.
After listening to the alternatives, my wife and I came to the same conclusion.
We will reevaluate as time moves on and things change. Right now, living with us is not the perfect solution, but it is the best solution for us.
I am sure advise from a knowledgeable consultant is better than my limited anecdotes. It is not an easy situation, especially when it is your child. Your D is lucky to have you.
Thanks. The issues you brought are very important. It is not easy, but my daughter is easy.By far my easiest kid to bring up. She is a happy person…and she remembers where I put everything so I don’t lose much.
$40,000 per year take home is different from $40,000 per year salary, which is always gross.
You need to be making approximately $70,000 per year on paper to bring home $40,000 per year.