I am applying for a scholarship for audio engineering. One of the requirements is to write a 300 word essay. My piece is more related to a poem. I’d like you opinion. I enjoy writing and I believe my poem is awesome but I don’t want to be totally wrong and embarrassed. It’s basically a poem or maybe considered a ballad?..dedicated to the sound wave. I’m speaking to a sound wave. It’s cool (in my eyes) because everything in the piece are things I’ve learned while conducting my research paper. So basically, I have a well matched research paper. Here’s the beginning,
The Wave
“Unlike my human ear, you move without natural boundaries. So when riding your wave, I sense the feeling of floating in an outer space. From the high’s of your crest and the low’s of your trough’s you are fearless. No, I’ve yet to travel out of my country, but you take me out of this world; out of this realm. As I undividely listen while floating in your world unknown, I’d admit it is cold and uncertain. But with all of your movements I began to see all of your color; a beautiful array of unlimited color…”
Few questions… after reading this, are you interested to read more? I know it’s a risk but would it jeopardize the scholarship as it is not written in a classic essay format? If you are a reputable scholar, I’d like to send the entire piece to receive futher feedback in a private message.
Seems more like creative writing, but it is a risk, as with submitting all creative pieces. I enjoyed reading it, but I don’t know how much the scholarship people would rather see an essay.
Big risk.
What is the essay prompt?
Also, note: apostrophes are for possessives, not for plurals.
sucks dude dont do it. literally sucks. fell asleep before i even read to the end.
I wouldn’t do it. This isn’t an essay. Being original and creative is one thing, but going by this little snippet, it says nothing about who you are or why you should be selected for admission.
If you put apostrophes in plurals you shouldn’t be trying something so unusual.
bitter sweet I guess. thanks for the feedback. I love to write but I have alot to learn. I’ll write an essay. But how can I write an essay that stands out from a ocean of others? My goal is to stand out. I don’t want to write something like “SAE can help achieve my career goals by…” I want to be represented by a piece that is modern and unexpected. How can I achieve this with the classic essay style?
To write a 300 word essay explaining how an education at sae can help achieve career goals.
:(( I love to write and I think my work is mind blowing. This discourages me as I think of all the poems and pieces I’ve written considering a possibility that they all sucked. I’m sincerely passionate about writing so I will continue to try and improve.
@kashelg Well, if there is a possibility that they all suck, that just means theres more for you to learn. Keep practicing, and you’ll get better. But for this essay, it’s recommended you stick to the classical college essay model.
I have no interest in reading more after that blurb. That was really boring. Sorry
I have to agree with the above posters; after reading the intro, I have no idea where the essay is going. Take a creative writing class or something.
Also, should it be “undividedly?”
You should be more to-the-point for this essay, considering the fact that 300 words is pretty short.
Every writer is bad until they are good. But the application and scholarship essays are not the place to practice. It isn’t appropriate to the task at hand. There are other ways to be unconventional but this is just too juvenile and not really saying anything. You are trying to express some love of the natural word and the craft. Simple and honest always works.
Don’t get discouraged about writing in general; everybody starts somewhere, and you’ll only improve from here on out.
It’s a big risk to “break the rules,” and I think what I and everyone else are saying is that it has to be really good to pull it off. Like, genius-level good. Ever heard “You have to learn the rules before you break them”? Once you know grammar, spelling, pacing, etc. inside and out, then you can choose which rules you’d rather discard. But doing it from a background of knowledge is different than doing it just 'cause, IMO.
If you ever want critique on any creative writing, feel free to message me. I love looking at other people’s work.
I appreciate all of the feedback. I’m an emotional writer and I find myself using unnecessary words in hopes of “dragging” an emotion from the reader. I also see that I don’t immediately deliver the main idea. What am I supposed to say in the essay? I considered a short story about my life and why I love music. But I imagine hundreds of other papers written the same way. I must submit something creative. It just HAS to be creative or it would fail to represent who I am! I’m going to brainstorm and I will submit something else for you all to critique. Thanks for all of your help!