The 4 years go by very fast. My advice is to pick an affordable school that your daughter feels comfortable attending and where she will take advantage of opportunities. She will find her people. As time marches on you will not have much to do with the chatter that you are now dealing with (I know it well).
My D currently has a summer position at a very well respected institution. There are students from all over… Ranging from “regular” state schools all the way to Harvard. The students are all assigned to similar types of positions within the same facility. Nobody cares where they go to school ( other than introductions) and they are all very capable of doing the work or they would not have been chosen.
It’s not snobby to want your kid to attend school with the smartest kids they can be with, but remember there are different types of “smarts” from which to learn from. One of my kids first friends at her school was a 25 year old who took some time off to start and then sell a business. I think that’s pretty impressive. Another good friend is a “free spirit” who taught my kid how to relax a bit and not be so incredibly academically uptight. My kid is still a perfectionist but I can tell she is way less stressed than she used to be, and she still gets the grades she wants. And yes… she still has the traditional “smart kids” to hang with.
There is a whole world out there beyond the confines and college talk of your northeast HS. Right now it’s hard to see it but you will eventually- and you will understand that it doesn’t matter. Find an affordable school that she likes and don’t give it another thought.