<p>Oaklandmom,
When you mention these details, it does sound like you son has faced a lot recently & can better understand your heightened concerns. Sounds like your S is handling college pretty well & will likely be able to deal with this also. Hopefully the college will be addressing this to help students thru this challenging time.
I don’t believe murders or other crimes of violence are common on campus, tho of course they happen as they do most places in our society. In any case, worrying about it is not constructive & not a good thing to convey to our kids. Trying to make good choices in friends & being aware of our environment is always a good idea.</p>
<p>I think it would be perfectly fine for you to call the college counseling center and ask what actions they are taking in response to the students’ suicide.</p>
<p>I fully understand why as a caring parent, you’d want to know that. I also don’t think it would be over the top for you to find out what they are doing-- whether or not it appears that your S needs those services.</p>
<p>As someone who has been a therapist at a college counseling center, I anticipate that you’ll be reassured by their response, but I do encourage you to set your mind at ease by calling them.</p>
<p>No advice; just wanted to express my sympathy. “Ask not for whom the bell tolls…” sort of thing.</p>
<p>An update. I spoke with my son last night. He sounds as though he is handling the situation well. And I also made contact with the counseling office. They have identified and made contact with the students who knew the student that died. They have also had special training sessions for the RA’s to help them identify anyone who may be having difficulty at this time. They are also organizing several community gatherings, a candelight vigil as well as gatherings for students to talk about their feelings.</p>
<p>Somehow I posted before I was done. I just wanted to add that I am pleased with how the school is handling this difficult situation. And my heart goes out to the family who lost their child.</p>
<p>Thank you for the update.</p>
<p>Glad to hear the school is being responsive about this tragedy. </p>
<p>Events like this help me remember to give my loved ones an extra hug and remind them how much they’re loved! In our busy world, we often neglect to let our loved ones know how much they mean to us.</p>
<p>I am so sorry for all those affected by this tragedy.</p>
<p>Forty years ago, when I was a freshman at Geo. Washington Univ. one of my roommates slashed her wrists. Fortunately, she survived, and though she needed a period of time away, she was able to resume her college career at another fine institution and has done very well in life. The girl came from a very accomplished family, and was herself a bright and vivacious young woman. The pressure of living up to older siblings and the stress of the first year college experience lead her to her act.</p>
<p>Her two other roommates and I spent as much time as we could at her bedside in a sequestered ward of the local hospital until she returned home. As I recall, no one at the university was there to offer emotional support or explanations to any of us or others in the dorm where we all lived. It strikes me that we all grew up very quickly that fall. We had seen more than our share of dangerous and violent behaviors, any of which could have resulted in tremendous tragedy. Somehow, we all rose to the situation and functioned as mature and caring adults, looking out for each other. Our families drew us close emotionally and let us know that we were loved for who we were, with the only expectation being that we would be home soon for the next holiday visit.</p>
<p>I observe how over time things have changed quite a bit…more openness and communication about the more tragic aspects of life in transition. I would hope that all schools would confront the problem openly and honestly…but even more, I would hope that they would initiate a solid freshman year program that would introduce these kids to life apart from the support mechanism of home in such a way that they would feel safe and protected and able to bring forth any problems or concerns they harbor without fear of ridicule or reprisal.</p>
<p>My prayers go out to the family and friends.</p>