<p>Our high school senior just asked me whether I remember Z.B., who graduated from her school last year. Of course I remember the exuberant guy with the blond Afro who was always smiling and joking around. He died today. Suddenly D and her friends are mourning the loss of a friend; they are also scared. Going away to college, which has been a dream for so long, is suddenly a less attractive proposition. The official statements indiacte that “there is no evidence of foul play nor is there any indication of an accident,” so they are assuming that a young man who seemed so happy has taken his own life, and they are scared. I will listen and help D work through this, but there are no easy answers. </p>
<p>This is a good lesson for your senior. In a high school of hundreds or thousands, a college of thousands, and companies of hundreds or thousands, there will be people hiding depression who will commit suicide. There will also be people who die from disease or accidents. There is nothing to be scared of unless people are dying from a prolific serial killer. There is an easy answer: Know this happens and don’t worry about it.</p>
<p>Sometimes not knowing makes it so much worse. </p>
<p>A 21 yr. old student at Gannon Univ., fell off a 2nd story fraternity house balcony a week ago and died. It happened at 8pm and it sounds like they are ruling it an accident. I noticed that no autopsy was being done. As a parent, I would want as much information as possible. </p>
<p>I can certainly understand why your daughter and her friends are feeling apprehensive about going away to school.</p>
<p>Survey after survey shows that many of us fundamentally misperceive risks. Even when we have good data about risks, many of us misinterpret the data. (I make this point in classs frequently.) The chances that a college student will die from any cause are very low. Having said that, I cannot agree with beolein’s conclusion in one sense. A teenager may have little control over whether he is hit by a drunk driver on the way to school or contracts meningitis, so it is not worth worrying about those risks. But dealing with depression is a different matter snce early intervention may keep the condition from progressing. Certainly we do not want our students going to off to college fearing that they may become depressed, but we do want them to be prepared to deal with whatever comes their way.</p>
<p>I think it would be helpful for students to learn what to look for in OTHER students. Depression isn’t always easy to spot, but it’s worth 5 minutes during an orientation session.</p>
<p>I wish that colleges were more proactive about this… my school talked as though this was an issue they took very seriously, but when I alerted the school that my roommate had refused to get out of bed for more than a few minutes a day for two months I couldn’t even get anybody to check on her. Thankfully for her it appeared to be a temporary episode and she eventually seemed to revert to normal. </p>
<p>I do wonder what depression awareness on campus would look like in a perfect world. The boy that I dated throughout college had been diagnosed with depression, his family and friends knew it, his RA knew it, and I managed to get him to go to sporadic counseling visits… but more or less, he refused treatment, and being over 18 nobody was going to make him unless he was a danger to himself or others. Which he was, to himself, but nobody would know that until it’s too late. I drove him to the ER on more than one occasion because he was threatening to kill himself, but all he had to do was say he wasn’t really going to and the doctors would send him home same night with the suggestion to seek counseling… which he continually ignored. I called 911 once because I was on the phone with him and he told me he had a knife to his wrist, and the police went over, asked him if he wanted an ambulance, and left when he said no-- end of story. He thankfully never actually committed suicide but had suicidal episodes fairly regularly. Everybody knew it but nobody could make him help himself. I am sometimes frustrated when people say things like oh, if only somebody had noticed… what would they have done? We all begged my boyfriend to get help, relentlessly, but he wouldn’t do it… then what? Awareness is the first step and is one that needs to be taken, but a lot of the time we do know someone is depressed and we are completely powerless to do anything about it. We really need help with THAT on college campuses, too.</p>
<p>The last thing we need is a more invasive collegiate administration that can force students into counseling or hospital stays on the judgment of another college student. I wouldn’t presume myself capable of saying my roommate was depressed and needed confinement and neither should you. I am strongly against shoving “help” down the throats of people that don’t want it.</p>
<p>“wareness is the first step and is one that needs to be taken, but a lot of the time we do know someone is depressed and we are completely powerless to do anything about it.”
What do you propose then to address the powerlessness that you claim? Your story implied a desire to commit your boyfriend against his will.</p>
<p>“To best honor him, they decided not to wear black in mourning, but bright colors, especially neon orange, to reflect his unforgettably bright and cheery personality.”</p>
<p>What a loving response to this awful situation.</p>
<p>This statement struck me as strange. Less attractive to who? Why?</p>
<p>I lost a close friend in high school to a suicide. Same thing- bubbly, happy, great kid. We were all baffled, especially those of us who knew him and knew him well. </p>
<p>I’ve also lost two close friends to medical accidents/issues and two to car accidents. Those were much easier to deal with than the suicide.</p>
<p>I would say yes; such a person needs to be committed, at least to attempt to identify the cause (could be physical), and to see if treatment can possibly alleviate it. </p>
<p>A severely depressed young person is not in a position to make this decision for themselves, no more than a person in a coma, a drugged person, or a person suffering an acute episode of paranoid schizophrenia. It is an illness that completely undermines a person’s perception and judgment.</p>
<p>I disagree with the harsh response to a student trying to help a friend who she knew was depressed, and seriously so. I can well understand the frustration of feeling a sense of responsibility for another when you have no real ability to do much of anything. And while I think there ought to be some outlet for kids to report their concerns, I agree that someone who doesn’t want to help themselves is not going to get the help they need. But it also concerns me that any young person would feel an obligation to take this on without help from an adult with more expertise, especially when they are probably very ill-equipped regardless. Our mental health options in this country are woefully under-staffed even for those seeking help! It’s a quandary, but I agree with the poster who said how important it is to talk with our kids about the signs of their own depression and letting them know that there is no shame in getting help. </p>
<p>However this kid ultimately died, we can all agree it was far, far too soon.</p>
<p>@starbright I completely agree. It is an illness of the mind. They are unable to think clearly. </p>
<p>@IthacaKid would you rather someone die because they were unable to help themselves? If they were able to think clearly enough to get treatment, they wouldn’t be suicidal. It’s a Catch 22. </p>
<p>So sad to hear about this student’s passing. He sounds like an amazing guy who had a lot to offer the world.</p>
<p>"Why the relationship between depression and suicide is not as clear-cut in kids and teens as it is in adults is unclear. Lead author Robert Gibbons says that in young people, “antidepressants decrease the severity of depression – but they do nothing for suicidal thoughts. For kids, the paradox is that there’s a disassociation in suicide and depression. That, I think, is the most interesting thing about our paper – it helps explain why some studies have found one thing, and others another.”</p>
<p>"Explaining why this dissociation exists will be the next step. It may be that for kids, a wider range of events and influences beyond depression prompts suicidal thoughts than for grownups. Indeed Gibbons suggests that it’s “probably because there are a lot of things that affect kids – bullying, social issues, groups, and so on – that may not produce clinical depression, but certainly can influence thoughts and behavior.” In other words, there could be other states or mental health issues that predict suicidal thoughts better than depression, like anxiety, alienation, and others, though at this point it’s anybody’s guess exactly what they are. Coauthor J. John Mann suggests that “kids are more aggressive than adults and, in general, more impulsive and likely to act on powerful feelings like suicidal thoughts.”</p>
<p>On self-injury; also not the same as Major Depression</p>