? about giving college students money

<p>My daughter will be a Junior at a State University. For the first time, she will be living in an apartment instead of a dorm.
My question is, how much money should I give her for groceries? We pay the rent, tuition, and all college expenses. She does not know how to handle money at all.</p>

<p>THANKS FOR ANY HELP!</p>

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<p>Time to teach her.</p>

<p>I’d give her a monthly grocery allowance. If she spends it all the first week of the month eating out, she’ll quickly learn how to manage her money.</p>

<p>Agreed! Although if she really has never had to handle money, I might start with a bi-weekly allowance for the first few months. When my kids were little, they got a very small weekly allowance. In high school, we switched to bi-weekly and for college, it is monthly. This has worked well, so far. We will see how the monthly allowance works when my daughter heads to college in the fall.</p>

<p>As far as how much to give her, I would think that about 1/2 to 2/3 's of the food plan should be enough, if she plans on eating a good percentage of her meals at home. If she is eating most of her meals out, $20 a day is the minimum my kids could get away with, given their locations.</p>

<p>Thanks VeryHappy. How much do you suggest?</p>

<p>How much is the meal plan for the dorms? What is the cost of living where she goes to school? In most places, $75 a week should be plenty, if she is eating the majority of her meals at home.</p>

<p>The meal plan is $1800 per semester and she MAXED it out both years!!</p>

<p>I think $75 a week is a good place to start. So that’s $300 or $350 for a month.</p>

<p>So, the meal plan was about $450 a month. I would start with $300 month. That would allow her some meals out, but most of her meals at home. She will figure out that if she eats breakfast and lunch at home, she will have more money for dinners out.</p>

<p>If there’s a Costco or a BJ’s near her, I would take her shopping and help her buy staples in bulk - toilet paper, coffee, peanut butter, cereal, rice, etc. Show her how to comparison shop (not everything at Costco is necessarily cheaper). Make sure she’s on the mailing list for local supermarket circulars (if you get them in the mail, the ones by me often have a $5 or $10 off a certain amount of purchase coupon that’s not in the circulars at the store). </p>

<p>Make sure she has a microwave and decent cooking equipment. If there’s a food co-op in town, look into it. My D joined the one near her school for $5 a year. She gets a discount which increases up to a certain amount for every hour she volunteers. She gets the organic peanut butter she craves that way.</p>

<p>Inroduce her to some recipe websites. I like allrecipes.com as it’s fairly user friendly. I am NOT a cook, my H is and I often find recipes for him.</p>

<p>I do not give my D an allowance. She lives on campus (as an RA, which covers 90% of her meal plan costs) and has a job. I pay for her books and supplies, but she buys her own clothes (lots of funky thrift shops in her area). I pay the portion of her tuition and costs that are not covered by FA and her scholarships; my gift to her is that she will have no undergraduate loans. Her earnings are her own. She is learning to manage money - she has saved close to $1500 so far that she is putting towards study abroad next year.</p>

<p>If you are really concerned that your D just can’t manage money, arrange a sit down session for her with a financial planner to discuss her goals. Make sure you have on line access to her money (I don’t for my D but I don’t feel the need). Tell her that if she can’t manageher money, she will have to go back to the dorm.</p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

<p>We gave the same amount as the cost for room and board at the school. We paid into their checking account the same as if being billed by the university. Typically room & board is more expensive than living in apartments in our area, so they learned to be frugal, and ended up with some extra at the end of the school year.</p>

<p>When I was in college and got an apartment my parents didn’t give me any money… I just worked more hours at my job. That being said, if she can’t do that for whatever reason, $75 a week should be fine. I’d make her get a job so she learns how to handle money but also the importance of how hard it is to earn it as well.</p>

<p>We also gave them the same as room and board calculated on a per month equivalence. If they chose a more expensive apartment then the food budget was less. We did help set up the staples, basic equipment, and spices because they can be expensive one time investment. DD had her campus job life guarding to supplement for going out or fancier meals.</p>

<p>Agree that if she does not know how to manage money, now is the time to learn.</p>

<p>In addition to the suggestions above about how much to give, and giving in such a way that she learns to manage (including learning from any mistakes), I would take this opportunity to sit down with her and begin the concept of budgeting and skill in money management:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Ask <em>her</em> how much she figures groceries/meals out should be. Guide her in ways to figure this (eg, cf to school meal plan as suggested above; go online and look at various budgeting sites; guesstimate cost per meal B/L/D…)</p></li>
<li><p>Respond with respect if she is way off base (too high or too low) and help her re-think.</p></li>
<li><p>Tell her directly that you think her moving into an apartment is such a great opportunity to become more independent. And financially savvy. That it is a form of “training wheels” for adult money management, as this time the funds for housing, food and utilities will come from Mom and Dad. But that she can learn how much things cost, how to think through trade-offs (if I go skiing with my food $, I won’t have much to eat beyond ramen noodles, etc.).</p></li>
</ol>

<p>IMO it’s never too early to start these concepts. Some of us started it with early allowances and helping kids learn about money management/investing little by little as they grew older. It’s also never too late … until someone gets into major debt. So now is a perfect time with this young woman.</p>

<p>We budgeted the amount of the dorm for my DD, she could use that same amount to pay for off campus living and we tried to entice her to learn to manage money by offering that she could keep any money she did not spend. We were hopeful that she could make decisions like pick a roommate and packet the difference, save on utilities, etc.</p>

<p>The kid who was never good with money continued to not be good with money through undergrad, the miser saved enough to fund travel options. We originally gave them the semester’s money, but that just did not work for the spendy kid. Eventually I would give it to her monthly, but she still had more month than money too often. At the end of college she moved home and worked that summer to pay off the credit card bill she had run up through idiocy.</p>

<p>It was frustrating as we thought the money being made hers would make her more careful, but it just did not work that way.</p>

<p>However, she did grad school and we told her up front it was all on her, no $ from us and she did finally learn. We still helped out, by choice, but nothing she could relay on, rather that help was a bonus.</p>

<p>somemom - good reminder that what “works” does not work with every kid. (I only have one, so what do I know :slight_smile: ?) Although, the one of yours who learned slowly and the hard way probably did absorb some of the lessons from the way you set things up.</p>

<p>If she is new to not only financial management, but also food shopping and preparation, it might be helpful to have her go to local grocery store and get familiar with pricing, etc. If she is home this summer, can she can take responsibility for keeping lists of her favorites as they run out and thinking about what type of food she is actually going to be willing to prepare for herself while at school. Then, she can start to assess what her $ needs are. You do need to take location into account. When our DD had to rely on Whole Foods in DC as the “only easily accessible” grocery source, it was more costly than our suburban stores. Have fun.</p>

<p>This summer will be a great opportunity for her to start learning how to manage an apartment and budgetting. We regularly gave S the amount of the lowest meal plan for the semester. He generally managed so well he had money left over, which was his to keep. With D. we are still working things out. She’s not as good about managing her finances, but she is learning. When we visit her (and/or S), we take the kid(s) grocery shopping & it does not count against their funds; we also take them out to eat with their room mate(s).</p>

<p>I agree that if she’s new to managing her finances, it might be easier for her if she is given funds twice/month instead of once/month.</p>

<p>We give each of my D’s $100/week for food, personal items, incidentals, gas. With D1 I give her $400 a month and she rarely asks for more. The other is more impulsive, and needed to learn how to budget and manage money. So D2 gets $100/week deposited into her checking account. That way she is not out of money midway through the month. She does make comments that if it is just not enough, she will have to go WITHOUT EATING. I have suggested she can go without the incidentals or eating out. I have stood firm, and what do you know, she has not gone hungry.</p>

<p>When they are home or we visit, there is always a trip to the store for shampoo, makeup etc ON ME. We all look forward to it. We also take them out to eat or take them to the grocery. Sometimes I splurge on bringing some prepared meals that they can freeze. The LESS they call and ask for more, the MORE likely I am to spring for care packages or to send a gift card.</p>

<p>*Although if she really has never had to handle money, I might start with a bi-weekly allowance for the first few months. *</p>

<p>I agree. I wouldn’t give a student who doesn’t really know how to manage money an entire month’s worth of food money. No parent is going to let her child starve if she were to go thru it all in a week or two. </p>

<p>That said, I might try giving her money weekly (direct deposit into her acct)…and discussing that if you’re giving her X dollars that 1/7x is what she can spend each day…with some kind of daily budget adjustment if weekends will be more expensive. </p>

<p>My older son has relied on meal plans and dorm-life for the past 4 years, and it will be very different for him when he goes to grad school and he has to stick to a budget for rent, food, etc. </p>

<p>Some kids are just more naturally better at money management. My younger son is just good about it. It will be a challenge for my older son.</p>