Told my parents today that i am getting academically suspended. They haven’t spoken to me too much about it. My mom doesn’t want to see me. Im international so i might have to stay with my parents and not travel back to college. This feels like my life is over.
I read on here that i have to rip the bandaid off and tell them. So i called them and told them and waited for hours for them to get home but we haven’t spoken yet. I dont know why i let it get to this point cause i could have told them when i got an academic probation and fixed it but i was scared and ashamed cause i had always been doing well in school even in university back home(intl) before coming here. It feels like my whole life is unraveling. None of my friends know.
Big hug for you, life is filled with challenges.
Deep breath, it will take some time to sort out your next steps.
Many good people will help you.
Pls talk to someone in person, too.
You may not like the options bc suspension may mean you can’t stay, I don’t know.
Honesty and humility will help you get through.
I’m sorry this happened. You aren’t the first and you won’t be the last, and you will look back on this as an unsettling time. You might feel scared and worried right now. You’ve done the right thing though. Your parents will still love you, but don’t be surprised if they are upset, disappointed, or angry. You need to come up with a course of action.
Can you appeal the suspension? There might be some useful points in this post that you can use in writing an appeal. Feedback on suspension appeal letter?
Talk to an academic advisor if possible and find out what steps you can take. What can you do to improve your college performance? Once your parents have digested the news, sit down and have a discussion with them. Let them know if you were feeling overwhelmed or frustrated and acknowledge your mistakes. Talk with a therapist if needed.
This is a setback, not the end of your education. Best of luck to you.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate this. I dont have a lot of good options regarding staying as my life will be uprooted but i honestly did this to myself. Academics going well for me before now re-enforced that i could do certain things myself and my ego did not allow me to quit. I just want to make my mom happy again as she’s done so much for me.
Thank you. I plan to talk to an advisor over the week and see what can be done. I’ll possibly use the year off from school to fix my underlying issues with my study habits which honestly seem like self sabotage at some point.
I took me six years to finish college. My friend got her BSc when she was over 50. There is no time limit to earning a degree. You are young and there is no rush. Learn from your mistakes and move forward.
I know it’s hard to see when you are in the middle of it, but life is long, and one day you will look back on this time and it will seem like a distant memory. All will be well.
Your mom will always love you, no matter what.
Good luck.
Big hugs🫂. You are loved.
Truly, we all struggle or have setbacks. We get up and try again with help of family , friends, counselors.
Great comment. Life is not a race.
Please…if you won’t be returning to this college for the spring term…make absolutely sure you fully withdraw, and that your housing contract also is fully withdrawn. You don’t want your family to be stuck with a bill for the term if you aren’t going to be there.
College is a journey, not a race.
Take the term (at least) off and figure out what went wrong. Look at all other options for completing college also. You might decide that your home country (for example) is a good place to complete your undergrad education.
But please…don’t just rush into hoping to return to this college now. Take the time you need to do what you need to do to be successful.
Another vote to take your time. My husband realized as a college senior that he didn’t want to be a teacher, after all. He dropped out, horrifying his parents (both doctors). He wandered all over the US and lived on communes in Mississippi and Alaska. Through working as a carpenter in Alaska, he learned that he loved structures and went back at 28 to get his structural engineering degree. I met him when he was 30, when he came down to Texas and was in my grad school classes. I was only 22. If he hadn’t wandered around for 8 years, we wouldn’t have met! So yes, life is a journey and you don’t get extra points for rushing through college. Good things can come from waiting.
Some cultures do not embrace therapy, but I hope that you will try it. I worked with a number of international students who were reluctant to go for counseling, but those who did were glad that they did it. It’s important to understand what happened, and a counselor can help you figure things out.
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