<p>My daughter as a sophomore this year is living in an apartment style dorm. My husband and I were discussing how great it is that she will be acquiring life skills this year - learning to cook, clean, being responsible for remembering to buy toilet paper and milk, etc. We both commuted to college, living with our parents and never even did our own laundry until we moved out when we got married. I mentioned this to a friend with kids in college and HS and she said “You have your whole life to cook and clean, they shouldn’t have to do it in college.” I thought this was odd but throw it out to you CC parents - anybody agree with her?</p>
<p>Well, no. I don’t think kids should learn to cook and clean in college, either. Most kids like learning to cook, and cleaning is a necessary pain in the butt, so why not teach them in middle school? Not that I was one of those parents with a chore chart or kids who did a significant amount of housework, but they did all take care of their own belongings/surroundings by the time they were in high school.</p>
<p>I think the challenge in college is having to do these things entirely on their own. No Mom or Dad to remind them to change their sheets so I’m pretty sure most kids aren’t changing them weekly. No parents to say “you should have something green today” so I know my kids bought stuff at a convenience store when they couldn’t get to the dining hall. But they did eventually figure it all out.</p>
<p>One of the nice things about a dining hall was that someone else cooked and did the dishes. But that is akin to a restaurant, whereas having someone clean p your rom is like having a housekeeper. Kids should clean up after themselves, IMHO.</p>
<p>My friend’s husband is 52 years old, and he still has no idea how to clean up, pack for a trip, do laundry, and a host of other things that adults should know how to do.</p>
<p>My friend always said to me “his mother did everything for him”.</p>
<p>The guy is great in many other ways, but I wouldn’t want to share a house with him. Just sayin’…</p>
<p>I commuted too and ITA, Kiddie. My kids do clean, if we lean on them hard enough, and do their own laundry if they want something cleaned and I’m not doing laundry. But it’s not something they are totally responsible for themselves. It’s part of the reason I insisted Ss go away to school, instead of attending one of the local community-colleges-that-call-themselves-unversities. I truly feel I missed out on a lot by not going away and I didn’t want Ss to do the same.</p>
<p>Parents who do everything for their kids are doing them a disservice. Someday those kids are going to be out on their own, and if they haven’t acquired those simple life skills by the time they move out fully on their own, when will they? My kids always did a certain amount of housework through high school. They don’t get a free pass just because they’ve gone off to college. (Unless of course you’re at Davidson, where they do your laundry for you!). If kids don’t want to cook in college, stay in a dorm all 4 years. If you want that sense of adulthood that comes with apartment living, then be prepared to take care of yourself. And hopefully your parents have given you the tools to know how.</p>
<p>I don’t think it matters whether people learn to cook and clean before, during or after college, because those things are so easy to learn. I also don’t really care whether some people choose to never learn to do those things at all. It is purely a personal prerogative.</p>
<p>The answer to this question to me comes/came in the response of my kids when they got to that point. One has graduated from college (a daughter), one is a senior in college (a son). BOTH loved the opportunity to make trips to the grocery store and have more control over what they were eating. Both told me that cleaning is “not too bad” and both on their own learned to just set aside a little time each week (really, an hour at the most) to do the down and dirty jobs of cleaning the shower, toilet, sweep floors etc. Laundry they had been doing anyway all through college. So based on their responses, having these responsibilities were a reasonably welcome part of growing up. </p>
<p>Honestly, they both were/are pretty dedicated to their studies and I think the everyday stuff - groceries, laundry, etc. was a nice break from having their noses in a book or on the computer studying.</p>
<p>Learning these skills early rather than later has a great upside, especially how to cook. My Son and his friends at college would have parties where everyone pitched in on preparing part of the meal. </p>
<p>Also, for a guy it helps to learn how to do the scut work of your own daily life to avoid trying to marry someone to “mother” you.</p>
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Or get a woman to marry you, period. Why date a slob, unless you’ve always had fantasies about spending the rest of your life cleaning up after a grown adult? (Am I the only one who wouldn’t date a guy who has things growing in his fridge/sink/laundry basket?)</p>
<p>^Ooops, I do have things growing in my refriegerator occasionally!</p>
<p>I don’t care about learning to cook or clean. They are not hard to learn. You don’t have to be a super cook or a cleaning machine. Invaluable skills I hope my kid learns in college is dealing with people and managing opportunies.</p>
<p>I didn’t really know how to cook or clean till after college (lived on campus all four years) and it didn’t hurt me. I love to cook now.</p>
<p>I was surprised in visiting my son last weekend that even though he has an unlimited meal plan, he and his roommates have gotten into the habit for grilling for a group of friends on Sunday nights. THEY EVEN GRILL VEGETABLES. I was tipped off by the lighter fluid and olive oil I saw under their bed. They also host a lot of in-dorm parties and have gotten very good at cleaning up the morning after.</p>
<p>There is no one right way to do things. I worry more about whether kids can advocate for themselves with advisors and professors and deal with setbacks like not getting into a desired class, having something go wrong with their student loans, etc. So far, so good with my son–and I am not worried about my daughter, who at 16 is already more responsible and together than most adults.</p>
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Unless you always intend on living alone and spending all of your money eating out (to the detriment of spending your money on other things), then learning to clean and cook are invaluable skills.</p>
<p>Nah, you can hire a house cleaner pretty cheaply and buy pre cooked meals at the grocery store.</p>
<p>It just doesn’t take much to prepare reasonably edible meals or tidy up enough to live your life. I don’t really call that life skills.</p>
<p>Nah, you can hire a house cleaner pretty cheaply and buy pre cooked meals at the grocery store.</p>
<p>For that matter you can live in your moms basement and only have other like minded individuals over.</p>
<p>If more people cleaned up their own messes the world would be a nicer place.</p>
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<p>Or, only date by going out to dinner and getting a room.</p>
<p>I was just talking with my son about his life skills. He’s a senior in HS. He can do his own laundry and knows his way around the kitchen. He and his little brother could live on fried eggs and tea if necessary. He manages his own money from work and savings (gifts, allowance, etc.). His part-time job has been really great because he has to deal with customers and co-workers and keep track of his schedule. I think he’s in pretty good shape!</p>
<p>jeannemar–sounds similar to my son when in hs. He will be in good shape. </p>
<p>When Son went off campus soph year of college, I gave him a case of paper towels and toilet paper as a “move-in” gift. Since he had no siblings, I mentioned that a clean bathroom and always having toilet paper was appreciated by all females I knew. He told me later (years later) that had set him apart for a lot of girls.</p>
<p>If my mother had passed away first, my father would have starved to death and probably have ruined their washer. I don’t think he ever once touched the vacuum. It made me crazy that they had such traditional roles when it came to our household. My brother isn’t much better. </p>
<p>My H’s mother was a maid. She taught her sons to cook and clean for themselves, not just subsistence food but real meals and how to plan and budget for them. She taught them how to do laundry, iron, sew a button or a seam, and use household cleaning tools and products. Her thinking was that she was not going to raise ANY children to depend on others to wait on them. Quite frankly, I prefer her position over my mother’s.</p>
<p>I have taught all of my kids how to cook, clean, do laundry, do basic household duties. I think these are things everyone should know rather than depending on a spouse or “the help”.</p>