Act Essay: Please Grade / Feedback


<p>Below, I have included the writing prompt and my essay that I wrote while taking my own practice test before this weekend's test. I would greatly appreciate it if you took the time to look over my essay and give me feedback on it. Maybe, you can put a hypothetical score that I would receive. Thanks!</p>

<p>Writing Prompt</p>

<p>In some high schools, students are required to complete a certain number of community service hours prior to graduation. Some people think community service is a good requirement because they think students will benefit from this experience. Other people think schools should not require community service because students will resent the requirement and, as a result, will not benefit from the experience. In your opinion, should high schools require students to complete a certain number of hours of community service?</p>


<pre><code> Many organizations that surround the school need volunteers for their benefit. Although community service will take away time from high school students, they will benefit from what they do and have experience in the outside world if it’s required before graduation.
There are many high schools that think that community service will help students all their life. Also, people think that forcing students to take away time from their busy schedule will cause the students to stress out with the many activities that they are already obliged to do. If high schools decided that students aren’t required to complete a certain amount of community service hours, the students will not learn how the outside world really works and they won’t learn to be unselfish.
Students that go to high schools, where they are required to do community service hours, are more likely to benefit from this experience than those who aren’t required. When students go out and help certain organizations, they are stepping out of their own little world and are acting in the real world. They learn certain aspects of life that will help them out in their near future. The experience they obtain now will guide them through their college years and past their young adult life. By experiencing what life is like to others who help or are being helped, they learn to be careful in their difficult choices in life that could change everything.
Another benefit of requiring students to participate in community service is that they learn to be unselfish in life. There are many times throughout high school where students are unwilling to help their own friends when they need their support. If students do go out and decide to help out the community, they will learn from their experience about how crucial it can be to help others out during specific times. Not only will students be helping out the community, but they also create strong relationships with other friends in the community. Because it’s crucial for students to create strong relationships with others, students will be helping out their own lives in their future when jobs are on the line or when they will need others to help them out. By requiring students to do community service, they will learn to be unselfish in life.
Students will greatly benefit from community service if the high schools do require them to do a certain amount. The students will learn how the real world works and create strong relationships with others while being unselfish. Although community service hours will drain out time from a students schedule, they will greatly benefit from this experience which will help them out in their future life.

<p>I would give this essay 3/6.</p>

<p>The first two paragraphs are almost identical in content. You tend to repeat yourself a lot, and I think that stem from poor planning. The essay as a whole is very vague. You need to work on giving more specific examples and avoid generalizations.</p>

<p>A typical 5-paragraph essay is split into 1 intro, 3 body, and 1 conclusion paragraph. For your sake, each paragraph should be a different SPECIFIC example. Furthermore, to prove your point, can you provide proof of your points? Is there a story you can relay or facts you can offer?</p>

<p>should i use real life examples then?</p>

<p>such as people who do volunteer have better work experience than those who dont volunteer</p>

<p>those types of examples?</p>