<p>Hello everyone,</p>
<p>I was hoping someone would be kind enough to score my sample essay, as well as provide examples of noted areas in which I may improve. I’ll be posting multiple samples as I take the tests. All samples are written within the thirty minute requirement.</p>
<p>The prompt comes from the Red Book:</p>
<p>In some states, legislators have debated whether teenagers should be required to maintain a “C” grade average in school before receiving a driver’s license. some people this this would be a good policy because having passing grades shows that students are responsible enough to be good drivers. Other people think such a policy would not be appropriate because they see no relationship between grades in school and driving skills. In your opinion, should teenagers be required to maintain a “C” average in school before receiving a driver’s license? </p>
<p>In your essay, take a position on this question. You may write about either one of the two points given, or you may present a different point of view on this question. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.</p>
<p>This is my essay:</p>
<p>Grades: The fundamental yardsticks by which to measure student intelligence, commitment and responsibility. Or are they? Legislators in some states have debated whether teenagers should be required to maintain a C grade-point average before they attain their licenses to drive. Unfortunately, their argument presupposes grades to be the god-sent measurement of not just an individual intelligence, but even of individual driving skills. In reality, there exists relatively little (if any) connection between grades and driving skills, and thus the requirement of a certain GPA to attain a license proves fallacious and invalid.</p>
<p>Consider, for a moment, the story of a genius: Albert Einstein. It is common knowledge that Einstein didnt do exceptionally well in elementary, secondary, or college institutes, but does that mean he wasnt responsible? No. His interests simply lay elsewhere (in a better place, I might add). Granted, itd be rare to see a picture of the physicist in a car, but imagine if he had other needs, say, a wife and children whom he had to support at a young age. Restricting his ability to drive simply because of a poor GPA may certainly have deprived him of the time to properly address both other responsibilities and his many interests. </p>
<p>The issue of other responsibilities is something proponents of a required GPA for driving fail to see. Some students, like myself, carry the weight (I would never call it a burden), of supporting and augmenting family income with a job. I also am charged with driving my brothers and sisters to and from school. Yes, I attain what many consider great grades, but these grades dont validate, and instead only minimally support, my personal tenets of commitment, responsibility and intelligence. </p>
<p>Still, proponents insist with one final, and probably most fallacious support for equired GPA: the often-cited statistic that teenagers are more likely to cause accidents than an average adult. But what does this statistic have to do with grades? That is, do these adults now driving all have exceptional, or even average, high school records? I doubt it. Grades have much less to do with accidents than do experiences. </p>
<p>Thus we should aim our efforts at correcting the experience deficit, not at demanding other requirements. The current age restrictions for driving prove more than capable of keeping unqualified drivers off the road, and to add another requirement such as GPA would only demonstrate a gap in logic.</p>