<p>Sorry to veer the thread a bit but I received a call from my beloved MIL (who is blind). When she calls she goes to speed dial. We are one number away from the other side.</p>
<p>“How are you I am fine…spoke to…my name today. You know after 33 years I STILL can’t stand the little Jew. (That would be me). --and then without pausing she continued–I told her all about my life and everything that I am doing. Yes, she listened…but then she told me about her kids!!! I am glad that they’re successful…makes up for their being Jewish. But then again…you know Jews…they’re always successful. THAT is how they run the world!!!”</p>
<p>I tried to interrupt her. But she continued on for a few more seconds and then she said, “oh, you know she invited me for a Jewish holiday dinner…”</p>
<p>And I interrupted her, “So…are you coming?”</p>
<p>Ellebud, is that you?! How did you get on this call…it is private!</p>
<p>You called me MIL. So…you coming?</p>
<p>Absolutely…wouldn’t miss it.</p>
<p>And thus it has been for 33 years…only she used to be able to read her phone dial and not say this stuff to my face, only behind my back.</p>
<p>What an awful phone call! Actually, what an awful MIL. So sorry you had to hear that. How could anyone, even a bigot, speak that way about their son’s wife - and their own grandchildren? </p>
<p>ellebud, you win the Best DIL EVER Medal for inviting her to the holiday dinner.</p>
<p>Thank you for the award that I wish I never had to win. BTW, this is BETTER than she used to be. My MIL and FIL used the k word for years. (Did I mention that we had long periods of silence?)</p>
<p>I have learned however how NOT to be a MIL. My kids in law will benefit greatly from my experience.</p>
<p>Naturally: I actually burst out laughing! I should tell her that. But she’s not that swift…she probably wouldn’t get it. But thank you for the laugh!</p>
<p>from S: “Mom, the light in my dorm closet burned out.”<br>
Um, and why are you calling ME?
“I only have a 40 watt bulb. It’s not gonna blow up or anything if I put that in, will it?”</p>
<p>No, Honey, it’ll be fine. A little dim, but fine.</p>
<p>Wow, I guess I should have known to teach Lightbulb 101 before he went to college…</p>
<p>ellebud, that was … surreal. You are an amazingly patient DIL!</p>
<p>DH texted me to look up some charges on our Visa so he could submit his expense report from his recent trip abroad. However, he did not realize that he was texting yD.</p>
<p>H “Can you check how much that dinner charge was in dollars?”
D “??? What dinner charge?”
H “XYZ Swedish Krona”
D “Is that a lot?”
H “NO!!!”
D “Why are you asking me this stuff”
H “So I can send my expense report in”
D “What is an expense report?”</p>
<p>LOL. This is when DH got really mad at me because he thought I was playing dumb, and I got a text from DD "Mom, is dad drunk or something? He keeps texting me about Swedish money! "</p>
<p>Well actually I do believe you having had difficult inlaws myself who also felt that I was of the wrong religion and ethnicity. But unbelievable in the sense that OMG how could she actually <em>voice</em> those sentiments.</p>
<p>ellebud… any you’re still speaking to her and inviting her to family stuff? I’d have cut off all contact years ago. You are a SAINT! (Does the Jewish religion have saints? OK, if not, you’re whatever the Jewish equivalent of a saint is.)</p>
<p>Oy. ellebud must be one of the 36 tzaddikim…the 36 anonymous righteous individuals on the earth at any one time, for whose sake the earth is not destroyed. :)</p>
<p>Of course, besides the speed dial glitch, this happened because MIL launches into her tirade without letting the other person even say hello… :D</p>
Thanks for being there, ellebud! - we need every one of you. mommusic, your post is one of the reasons I’ll never leave CC until I can’t remember where the computer is … somehow I’ve gone 55 years without hearing about tzaddikim before!</p>
<p>Ellebud,
Indeed, your kids WILL benefit greatfly from your forbearance and extreme goodwill. My MIL had in-laws from hell and she was the world’s best MIL. We had a wonderful relationship and we all mourned her and FIL when they passed away. We all did everything to spend as much time with them as possible, including climbing up and down the 66 steep and sometimes slippery steps to their front door, with babes in arms.</p>
<p>They vowed NOT be be the awful people they had experienced in their lives and we vow to follow their excellent example. They were not in our lives long enough but we cherish their memories and know that they knew they were greatly loved. Even thou our kids were pretty young when they died, both kids have heard MANY fond stories of their grandparents on hubby’s side (tho am not sure how many memories each kid actually has about those years).</p>
<p>I truly believe people with so much hate are mentally and emotionally ill and admire those who are able to include them in spite of it. When I have the option, I try to keep my distance. Your hubby & kids are truly the better for your not forcing them th choose between you & your MIL. So sorry for all you endure with such fortitude.</p>
<p>EB- wow someone beats my in laws, I am impressed, in all the wrong ways. Sometimes when you have people like this in your life and tell the stories you sense a certain disbelief in others…so glad you had such a great reception here!</p>
<p>EB’s MIL’s faux paus should remind us all the check our emails- nothing worse than forwarding an email you have received along with your snarky editorial comments onlyt to reliase you replied instead of forwarding ;)</p>
<p>I too had never heard of tzakkikim. Thank you, but I doubt very much that I am one. I have said, in private (and here in public sans names obviously) what I thought and think of them. My MIL thought that she was calling the other DIL, the one who is a WASP and hates Jews as much as she does or did. (Now that she is very old she is refusing to acknowledge many of the things that she said and did. Everything is blamed on my FIL, BIL, and SIL). </p>
<p>None of my kids like the other side. They loved my parents, who died far too soon. But my parents adored the kids. Nothing they did was “wrong”. And that love made all the difference. And HiMom, the loving Hawaiian aloha spirit is there. </p>
<p>Definitely will check the respond to all on emails. My husband received a respond to all email from opposing counsel outlining all sorts of bad stuff on their side…slam dunk winner.</p>
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mommusic, your post is one of the reasons I’ll never leave CC until I can’t remember where the computer is … somehow I’ve gone 55 years without hearing about tzaddikim before!</p>