<p>E-mails are a VERY dangerous media. I try to NEVER commit to writing (especially not an e-mail) things that I would NOT want to see published openly. If I have important comments, I try to make them by phone, just because you never know who will forward to somehow inadverently (or otherwise) reveal info that you might not wish to have shared and/or attributed to you.</p>
<p>Electronc media is very seductive.</p>
<p>I really feel for folks who have toxic families and have to choose how to move forward with their families–cut off the toxicity or keep the ties and all that entails. It’s really tough for everyone concerned, whatever is chosen.</p>
<p>My kids are closer to my family because we have all lived in HI & they have been able to spend a LOT more time with my relatives. We get along with my SIL & BIL & niece & nephew, but really don’t know them that well. </p>
<p>Just recently, we have become a lot closer to two of my CA cousins whom I always thought of as “OLD,” since one is 11 years older & I’m not sure how old the other is. They have made an effort to reach out to us and we stayed with both of them this trip. One is even storing S’s car & some of his “stuff” while he waits for his job to start in January. I think they and we are entering a new phase in our lives, as our kids are grown & that is why they’re reaching out & we’re happy to know them as adults. It’s funny, since both are younger than my H, whom I’ve never considered “old.” We do end up with some interesting perspectives–I guess partly because they moved away to CA when I was in grade school.</p>
<p>Most recent call from S2:
Me: Did you go to the Frat house party for Halloween?
S2 : Yeah, but the police came before we could start throwing the pumpkins.</p>
<p>Call fr. S2 after his college’s football team defeated arch rival last month:</p>
<p>S2: Hey Mom, how 'bout that game?<br>
Me: Are y’all celebrating the big win?
S2: Yeah, there’s a couch burning in the street right in front of my house.
The police came but said it looked like we had it under control so they left.</p>
<p>O.K. sad to say, I was Almost happy to get this call…</p>
<p>“Mom, I’m in ER, a couple of stitches, xrays, no broken bones, inflamed bursa on elbow”.
(After upteen ER visits with him, he knows the drill and what I would be asking)</p>
<p>Sort of happy about this, since he’s in “Hell” week for frat initiation. Please, God, let this be the worst that happens to him this week! </p>
<p>I must say, I had palpitations when I saw his number on my phone—since they were “relieved” of their phones for the week. </p>
<p>Yes, I know they are not supposed to haze…but i have my doubts and think there is a lot of looking the other way. I’m sorry, but I should not worry when all freshman have no way of communicating with the rest of the world? What neanderthals think this would not raise suspicion??? What do they have to hide???</p>
<p>He indicated he was o.k…and that his lengthy ER visit allowed a few hours of sleep and ability to do some homework!</p>
<p>“Dad, I’m joining the polo team. It’s like jousting! It’s SO cool!”</p>
<p>“Dad, I got pulled over for speeding. Did you know that a Ford Focus will do 92 mph?”</p>
<p>“Dad, roommate and I were driving back to campus (from Nebraska to Kansas) and we saw a tornado! It was SO cool.”</p>
<p>“Dad, I joined a club that fosters dogs for adoption. I just brought home my first foster dog.” Me: “That’s great. What breed did you get?” D: “A pit bull! His name is Diego. He seems kind of hyper!”</p>
<p>“Dad, I got a tattoo. Wait 'til you see it. It’s great!”</p>
<p>And the phone call that I REALLY didn’t want to get:</p>
<p>“Dad, in addition to my DVM (doctorate in veterinary medicine), I’ve been thinking that I want to get a masters in public health too.” [Insert Dad’s vision of personal bankruptcy here].</p>
<p>Mom, I need some advice…
This call ONLY happens when every reasonable attempt to resolve the situation has been exhausted, and usually results in my urging a trip to the nearest emergency room!</p>
<p>I had a fun call last week from my freshman daughter. She called hysterical asking me to check her bank account online because someone had stolen all of her money. Then I found out she was driving back to her dorm from the grocery store where her debit card had been denied. I got her off of the phone ASAP and promised her I would check and to call me back when she got back to her car. (I was not happy that she called while driving and very emotional.)</p>
<p>Long story short, no one stole any money from her. She keeps most of her money in savings to earn interest and transfers her anticipated necessary amount to checking every few weeks to cover expenses. When doing her finances she forgot to check on about four checks that she had written the month before. She thought they had already gone through, but they didn’t until the day before this call. It was hard to calmly tell her what happened without breaking out in complete laughter.</p>
<p>proud_mom, I have a friend who got a frantic phone call from her D who was studying in Europe: “Mom, the ATM isn’t working! It won’t give me any money!” Mom went online, checked her D’s account and replied, “Honey, that’s because you don’t HAVE any money. You spent it all.” The funny part - the D was an Accounting major, who went on to graduate Magna Cum Laude, is working on her CPA, and has an accounting job waiting for her after she takes the CPA exam. But she didn’t realize that she had already spent all her money.</p>
<p>S was supposed to call us back when we called at a bad time. He didn’t. He finally called the next day, “We were at an Irish pub drinking whisky & beer.” (This was after midnight).<br>
Turns out that 3 classmates in addition to S all turned 21 that week. At midnight, when the 4th one made it, they all went the bar to celebrate. </p>
<p>Bad news is that he liked the whiskey but not the beer. My response: “All things in moderation!”</p>
<p>Ellebud…Both of my in laws have passed away but your post almost made me laugh (not because your in laws are awful to you) because they sound just like mine once did. My children and I were called every nasty word they could come up with, regarding our being Christian. The funny thing is we moved my father in law in with us when he was sick and suffering from alzeimers. Believe me…your kindness now will be very appreciated, if only by your husband, and the big guy upstairs.</p>
<p>And such a good role model for kids. ^^^^^ I am sorry for ellebud’s experience, and momma-three, want to apologize on behalf of what I presume were Jews. Sigh.</p>
<p>7:30 this am; my HOME phone rings. It’s D3, frantic.<br>
“Mom!! I left my phone on the roof of my car”.
Silly Me thinking it was damp or wet… “Is it wet??”
D3 “It’s on the side of the highway somewhere”.
Argh…</p>
<p>and this was a voice mail from my youngest daughter last night “Mom, you havent answered your phone all day. Mom Mom and *** hasnt been able to reach you either. I’ve called the police, they are on their way to check on you”</p>
<p>So life lesson for the day, dont forget to turn your ringer back on because if they cant reach you , they will call out the calvary! I thought it a precious and ironic twist.</p>
<p>I think that all of us who have had difficult in laws or siblings in law learned much, unwanted, life lessons. My mil is coming for a visit new weekend…for 10 days. </p>
<p>And Sister Sunnie, isn’t it wonderful that our children, however misguided (as they thought we were) cared so much to call, checkin and then call the cavalry? They love you.</p>
<p>Last time my in laws visited they decided that instead of the usual 4-5 day visit, that if my parents visit for two weeks, the in laws could visit for 2 weeks, AT THE SAME TIME. DH and I slept in the back of the truck so that they could have our room…Merry Christmas…and a few weeks later when we visited the in laws, FIL told me he will never again visit when my parents are there, as it makes him feel jealous to see how easily my family and my parents interact…“sheesh, dude, if you were not such a PITA people would interact easily with you too!” But, hey, I am find not to have all the company at the same time, it was intense to say the least, mostly because the in laws are egocentric high maintenance people and everything is about them.</p>
<p>How can she face me? Somemom just said it ^^^^. …egocentric, high maintenance, and everything is about her. Wait!! Somemom, you’re on the west coast too?! Dear Lord, I know we’re not related, but maybe we could go out commiserating?</p>