<p>OK so i know this isn’t the place for this type of question but i figured i would give it a shot. I have a 9 year old nephew in the 4th grade and it is super difficult to get him to do his homework. He is very talkative and easily distracted. His teacher sent home a packet with us last year containing information about ADHD. Im starting to believe she was right and he needs to see a doctor… It is a struggle to get him to do his homework. Im wondering how other parents deal with their ADHD child and if i can get some tips. As i type this he is supposed to be doing his cursive writing but instead he has his feet on the table and putting his pencil in between his toes and talking about all kinds of things, except his homework. His younger brother is on the other side of the room writing his spelling words and keeps saying “Would you be quite and do your homework?” He is in the 2nd grade… I tell the 4th grader to please be quite and do his cursive and he tells me “Why don’t you do cursive”, “I hate cursive”, “I want to watch my brothers football practice today”
Please help. He is driving me crazy. </p>
<p>Are you babysitting these kids? You need to talk to the parents about this. Just tell them what you’ve observed----that the older one can’t seem to concentrate and get work done as well as the younger one. (What kind of grades does the kid get if he refuses to do homework?) Remind the parents about the info. the teacher sent home last year. Suggest that it is time for an evaluation. </p>
<p>His mom is my sister. She is a single mom and i am currently living with her and helping with her 3 kids. The older boy started getting bad grades towards the middle of the school year last year. The younger boy does just fine in school and i have no problems getting him to do his homework and he makes good grades. The older one is the one we have problems with. </p>
<p>I really really hope those aren’t their real names. </p>
<p>Try not to use their names online.<br>
First stop- pediatrician, he/she will give Mom some forms to give to the school’s IEP team.
The pediatrician will also conduct an exam on your nephew and check the child’s diet. These are full evaluations that will not be completed in a day or week. It takes time because this child may need daily medication, that’s why the medical community is cautious and is thorough in the exam stage.</p>
<p>Yea im sorry. I wasn’t thinking when i was typing. I edited my comment. Can you still see their names?</p>
<p>^^^^No.</p>
<p>Maybe it would help if he was given a time of vigorous outdoor play when he gets home from school. Maybe an hour of solid running around. That might settle him enough to do homwork for a bit. Maybe he can do some if it while moving (say jumping rope or jumping on a small indoor trampoline or hopping up and down the stairs) - like recite math facts. </p>
<p>A few of my kids were ‘wiggly’ and it helped them greatly if I allowed them lots of movement when they did school work. I did not require that they sit down - standing up at a table was fine with me. My youngest would kick a soccer ball in the living room (very gently - nothing ever broke - to my great relief!) while I read aloud to him. He had much better retention of the material when I allowed this. </p>
<p>I know this won’t help every kid, but it helped my kids greatly. YMMV</p>
<p>You have several options for evaluation. You can start with your pediatrician, some are comfortable diagnosing ADHD–but be aware that ADHD is not the only thing that can lead to that kind of behavior–sensory integration problems, undiagnosed learning disabilities, other psychological issues etc. Your sister can ask to the school to evaluate him–if so,she needs to ask for an IEP evaluation IN WRITING. If insurance allows, developmental pediatricians or neuropsychologists do very thorough evaluations.</p>
<p>It might have an overwhelming amount of information, but google Wrightslaw which has tons of info about advocacy for kids with special needs. </p>
<p>Good luck, feel free to PM me with any questions!</p>
<p>ADHD folks often have trouble with executive function. </p>
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<p>If you have trouble with executive function, these things are more difficult to do. You may also show a weakness with working memory, which is like “seeing in your mind’s eye.” This is an important tool in guiding your actions.</p>
<p>As with other learning disabilities, problems with executive function can run in families. It can be seen at any age, but it tends to become more apparent as children move through the early elementary grades. This is when the demands of completing schoolwork independently can trigger signs of a problem with executive function.</p>
<p>How Does Executive Function Affect Learning?
In school, at home or in the workplace, we’re called on all day, every day, to self-regulate behavior. Executive function allows us to:</p>
<p>Make plans
Keep track of time and finish work on time
Keep track of more than one thing at once
Meaningfully include past knowledge in discussions
Evaluate ideas and reflect on our work
Change our minds and make mid-course corrections while thinking, reading and writing
Ask for help or seek more information when we need it
Engage in group dynamics
Wait to speak until we’re called on
What Are the Warning Signs of Executive Function Problems?
A student may have problems with executive function when he or she has trouble:</p>
<p>Planning projects
Comprehending how much time a project will take to complete
Telling stories (verbally or in writing), struggling to communicate details in an organized, sequential manner
Memorizing and retrieving information from memory
Initiating activities or tasks, or generating ideas independently
Retaining information while doing something with it, for example, remembering a phone number while dialing</p>
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<p><a href=“http://ncld.org/types-learning-disabilities/executive-function-disorders/what-is-executive-function”>http://ncld.org/types-learning-disabilities/executive-function-disorders/what-is-executive-function</a></p>
<p>If your nephew does have ADHD and executive function issues, it is best to get these issues addressed…the earlier the better.</p>
<p>I am just learning about executive function issues. I wish we had a thread about it. I want to learn more about it. Both of my in-laws appear to have this issue and it spilled largely onto their children. For years, I would scratch my head wondering why they do what they do…the strange order of doing things, in inability to do “A items first,” the lack of planning, the impulsiveness, etc…now after learning a bit about Executive Function Disorder, it is starting to make sense. </p>
<p>I have some personal perspective on this one. I have a child (now a senior in HS). I have had to sit with him to do homework ever since he started doing homework. I would ask him questions, refocus his attention, let him take “wiggle” breaks–get up, do something else for a few minutes, etc. He has needed this help until the last year or so of HS. I’ve backed off to let him manage his HW. It takes him hours every night to get his homework done (at least 2-3 times as long as my other son ever needed). It’s just who he is. Luckily we started good homework habits from day one. When he came home from school he would immediately get a snack and start on homework. I would work with him and we could usually get it done before dinner when he was younger. In HS it would sometimes take until 10pm (with a dinner break) to get it all done. Now he’s doing it himself unless he needs me to explain something but it still takes a long time because he needs small mental breaks. I discovered early that the ADHD also meant that he missed most of the learning instruction at school, which is why I sat with him–I usually had to teach him the concepts (especially math, which he loves) because he just didn’t focus enough in class to learn everything.</p>
<p>Good luck! I did get medication for my DS but for him, it was not a huge improvement–it did help him concentrate better, but was no magic pill.</p>
<p>I would agree that the medication DS takes for ADHD isn’t a magic pill. It does help him focus during school so he doesn’t miss as much. However even if your nephew has ADHD and ends up taking medication it’s not going to make him want to do his homework.</p>
<p>He needs to have a special place with no distractions to work.
Like a horse with blinders, or a study carrel.
White noise/ headphones might help.
Is there anyway to give him his own place?
( & try not to compare him to his brother)</p>
<p>I cannot imagine that ANY kid does not have his absolute favorite activity, anything at all.<br>
If he know that he cannot get into it, he would still not do what needs to be done?
this is just a brainstorm on my part, This has worked wonderfully iwth my non-ADHD kid when way back she got her very first assignment in kindergarten. She was 5 y o, but when I said that we cannot go to her sport practice (her absolute dream activity), it took her about 5 min. to complete her homework. I know that every kid, including some with more severe problems than ADHD, has favorite activity or few. </p>
<p>@MiamiDAP, that works with neurotypical kids, at least some of the time. Not gonna work with a kid with ADHD, or might work now and then but wouldn’t work on a consistent basis. OP’s nephew sounds like he needs evaluation and diagnosis.</p>
<p>Agree with @Sudsie - @MiamiDAP the last thing a kid with ADHD needs is a physical activity taken away if that’s something they like doing. It will make them hate homework that much more. A kid who doesn’t have ADHD is NOT like a kid who has it and saying things like “including some with more severe problems than ADHD” is not going to help OP or make her feel better. OP - definitely have him evaluated - his pediatrician is a good first step. Our older S has ADHD and we created a distraction-free place to study for him (a place that worked for him) and lots and lots of structure. One thing that really seemed to help him after school was to bounce on the trampoline for a few minutes. @SomeTexasGirl - they are very lucky to have you!</p>