Admission is a BD, not a BFD

Parents Forum
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<p>[I originally posted this in the Admissions forum, but it was suggested I repost here. If I can reach a few more overwrought souls, I’m all for it.]</p>

<p>I have been lurking on this site for lo these many years, and have been tempted to post many times. I usually find on reading through posts, however, that some CC eminence grise (think cur, Carolyn, just to name some “Cs”) has already weighed in much more eloquently that I would have.</p>

<p>The impetus for this first (and likely last) post is that we’re now deep in the decision process of a weird year in college admissions. And on CC, admissions are like the search for the Holy Grail and the D-day landing rolled into one. This is, after all, the board where every year, when the decisions start rolling in, there are references to the “massacre” on the Harvard, or Yale, or MIT forums.</p>

<p>In our family we usually sort crises into BD and BFD, with BD representing Big Deal and BFD the same, but with a good old Anglo Saxon expletive in the middle. College admission IS a BD but it is not a BFD. I know how hard it is to maintain that perspective. A few years ago, when my DD was applying, she LIVED AND BREATHED for a reach school that she had loved since she was 10 and worked her tail off through hs to have the stats and ecs to get in. When the rejection came in online, I saw her eyes mist up and then she said tearily, “I’m gonna call dad at his office and let him know.” I was really worried that despite all our cautioning, she had turned the admissions process into a BFD, so I decided to go back 15 minutes later to check on her.
AA: Are you okay?
DD (annoyed): Mom, I’m trying to finish this paper.
AA: But you’re really sure you’re OK about this?
DD (giving an evil grin): Really, mom, I’m just gonna make my mark somewhere else.
And several years later, that’s just what she’s gone and done.</p>

<p>Now, unfortunately, I have a regular reminder of the difference between a BD and a BFD because every week I visit a kid who several years ago got into his dream school, one of the nation’s most prestigious universities, and then a freak accident put him in a comatose state and the nursing home where he now resides. </p>

<p>So as the decisions come in, let’s all take a collective deep breath and remember: All you bright, overachieving, hard-working, driven, big-dreaming CCers out there…You are all healthy and smart enough to go out and make your mark, and that’s the really Big Deal. In the end, acceptance into Duke or Harvard or WashU or UCLA or East Bathwater Community College if it comes to that…It’s just icing on the cake.</p>

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<p>Beautiful post, Alice. Thanks for the reminder!!</p>

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<p>Well said Alice. And don’t worry about not being as eloquent as cur and carolyn…I’m not either and it doesn’t stop me from posting! Cmon in more often, the waters fine!</p>

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<p>Thank you for the post. I am going to send it to a young man I know who struggles with various envy issues. I have to give him a long distance smack upside the head from time to time … and your post is a wonderful way to remind him that he might not have “everything” … but he has everything he needs. Again, thank you.</p>

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<p>A beautiful and intelligent friend of my daughter’s died a couple years ago and every time I see her mom I am so grateful that I have a daughter who may be going to SUNY Potsdam instead of Yale, a daughter who doesn’t win scholarships, a daughter who isn’t president of any club. You’re right, not a BFD.</p>

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<p>In my book, the fact that “You are all healthy and smart enough to go out and make your mark” isn’t just a BD, it’s a BFD! I hope all the young CCer’s here take advantage of it. </p>

<p>Well said!! Nice post.</p>

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<p>Thank you so much for putting everything in perspective.</p>

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<p>Love your post. Thanks for sharing it!!! :)</p>

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<p>Thank you. My son and I just returned from a strenuous week of three college visits and I was reminded daily of what a great kid he is and how much I love him. That’s what matters.</p>