Admissions essay for summer program, please critique

<p>the prompt says i am supposed to take my favorite media selection (movie, show, art, article, etc) and write an essay about what place it holds in my life and how i find it similar to myself.
please critique it.
Good, bad
and any suggestions
thanks
and FYI, my name is Alex Boring (it appears in the essay)</p>

<p>Similarity is often an important factor that determines how much we like or dislike something. We have a predilection to enjoy that which shares positive qualities with ourselves. In the same way, we show aversion to that which resembles our negative traits. If we examine our favorite sources of media, we may often find that they are quite comparable to ourselves. It seems to be that my favorite books, movies, magazines, and newspaper articles all reflect something about my character or personality. Whether it be a direct representation of who I am, or a mere exaggeration, I can always find part of myself within my favorite media selections. Take for example the movie, “The Evil Dead II” starring Bruce Campbell. The spontaneous, comic genius within the movie reminds me of my own sense of humor to a lesser extent.</p>

<pre><code>Never have I seen another movie that has left me gasping for breath like “The Evil Dead II”. It seems as though Bruce Campbell grabs a hold of my stomach and gives me the squeeze of death. It is the kind of movie that when finished, leaves me wondering how I do not have an aneurism. Although I am not nearly as funny as the movie, I am still known for being an impromptu and comedic wordsmith. I always have something funny to say, whether it be a subtle remark, or an outburst of raw comedy. There are always the few that don’t laugh at my jokes, but they are the ones with no sense of humor; they should have my last name ( Alex Boring). Thankfully, I can usually get a chuckle out of even the shyest of kids. My teachers and fellow classmates are often full of anticipation before an upcoming speech of mine. I say some of the most random things at the most random times, but with a strong and coherent dictation, so that my words are not mere rubbish. Of course there are always those select few that “don’t get me”, but for the most part, people enjoy my presence and sit at the edge of their seats waiting to hear what merriment I have to say next.
</code></pre>

<p>There is something about the outrageous humor in “The Evil Dead II” that so reminds me of myself. The artistic creativity in the movie has a resemblance of something Lewis Carrol (the author of “Alice and Wonderland”) would create except much more horrific. The random, creative energy behind the humor in the “Evil Dead II” seems to be almost identical to the energy that fuels the comedy and spur of the moment ideas I am always coming up with. I don’t think I could think of such crazy things as maniac furniture laughing at you, spirits that make lawnmower sounds, or dead girlfriends that want to kill you, but then again, the likelihood of any of those events occurring are zero in a million. I would consider my humor to be much more refined and less off the wall than the humor present in the movie, but still nonetheless very similar.</p>

<p>The essay shows you can write grammatically correct sentences, which is good. I didn’t get much of a sense of who you are, however. Some suggestions I’d have:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I have never seen the movie you mention. You must assume there is a good chance your readers haven’t seen it, and explain enough about the movie for them to feel comfortable judging how well it fits with what you are saying about it. From the title, I’d think it’s a gory horror movie, but you say it’s funny. Tell me enough about it to convince me (right now, I just have to take your word for it).</p></li>
<li><p>Be clearer about which character or personality traits you’re trying to describe in your essay. All I can tell is that you’re trying to convince the readers that you’re funny. But then you go on to mention at least a couple of times that not everyone “gets” your humor. So…are you funny? Maybe. For all I’d know, I’d be one of the people who don’t find you funny, since you have not really described HOW you are funny. Also, aren’t there any other traits you want to tell the readers about? At least explain how having a funny person like you in their program would be a benefit to them or to the other program attendees.</p></li>
<li><p>“The spontaneous, comic genius within the movie reminds me of my own sense of humor to a lesser extent.” Are you trying to say you’re not as funny as the movie? Or more funny? I don’t think the “to a lesser extent” phrase is necessary (especially since I’m not sure what it means here). I think it would be better to describe a scene that shows the “spontaneous, comic genius of the movie” and explain how it relates to your personality. More specifics and fewer generalities are what I’m looking for. </p></li>
<li><p>I think it’s Alice IN Wonderland.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Hope this helps. Remember, it’s just one person’s opinion. Feel free to disregard any/all of it.</p>

<p>danggggiiitttt
i already sent it
ohhhh well
its for u of chicago summer program, so i dont think it is too important since the program really isnt that competetive</p>

<p>and
yeah
i wanted to be more specific, but i didnt know how to and keep it limited to 500 words
its like 515ish already, and good examples would be another 100-250 words</p>

<p>i didtn really like the topic either, cause i dont exactly have favorite things.
so i jsut have to choose things that i like alot.</p>

<p>anyway
thanks for the advice</p>

<p>… is The Evil Dead II the one with the tree rape scene? O_o</p>

<p>I find really short essays difficult to write too. Good luck with the summer program.</p>

<p>u spent too much time building urself up…</p>

<p>im pretty sure there wasnt a tree rape scene
but his girlfriend that died and turns into a zombie wants to kill him on it</p>

<p>maybe ur thinking of a different movie
but if u havent seen this one, see it.
its hilarious</p>