Adult child loses job - now what?

@youdon’tsay : I wish I could be more help as to “how”. D lives in Europe and met another expat who did this for a living. D is pretty good at networking, meeting new people and asking frank questions like " how do you make a living". He began to give her his “extra” clients and now she has built up her own list of regulars.

I am not sure why it would be more interesting in managing money for sports people vs any wealthy individual. It’s kind of like doing laundry for an athlete is not any more interesting than just doing laundry.

One other thought @youdon’tsay : Since D is in music and is adept at editing sound, she brings a specific skill set to the job. She demonstrated to her initial contact how she could edit the raw material (removing verbal ticks, stumbles, background noise etc) and make just about anyone sound fantastic. She also has a good eye and a sophisticated aesthetic. I think if your student brings a certain talent to the mix, it’s easier finding a client who will pay the $35 an hour she requires.

That’s so interesting. I wasn’t asking for my kid; I am just a curious person and find it interesting to learn how others got where they are (I sound like your dd!). But the info on sound editing could be helpful for ds2, who has experience with that kind of thing …

oldfort - I think managing money for athletes is more interesting and challenging as they go from broke college athlete to professional athlete with a multi-million dollar contract. Many have spending issues and wind up broke and filing for bankruptcy. There are those who have had their parents manage their money and end up in debt. So, I do think it presents some unique challenges. And for someone who is a sports fanatic - it would just be more fun!

I am bookmarking this, since my son graduates on Sunday, and based on his degree and experience, should have a job. But he has pooh -pooh’ed everything I have suggested. I have used the reach, match safety analogy that ucbalum recommended. I have recommended everything mentioned above.

Good luck to OP and watching to get pointers as to how mom and son get along. I am not here to hijack, just venting.

You have my sympathy!

One of the things I have done is asked my son if it is ok that I send him leads I see and he agreed. I want him to see various options beyond his narrow focus. He was pleased with what I sent last night, so that was good. Are you able to do this?

My son has been incredibly resistant about using the campus career center - beyond me as to why. I would think that woukd be an obvious starting point. Has your son used his?

I think looking for a job is a life skill that needs to be learned. My younger son used many online resources and campus resources to secure a summer internship - most were online applications. He had several interviews. I think this was a great experience in and of itself - before he even starts the actual internship. Wish older son had done something like this.

The person who would actually have any contact with the athlete would be the relationship manager. Your son, as a junior person, would just learn how to manage someone’s portfolio, no different than any junior private banker out there. I headed up private banking IT at a major bank. We had some very famous clients, but we never saw them. Our bankers met with the clients few times a year, and when they met their clients they focused on the customer’s portfolio, not on their personal lives.
Would it be that interesting to babysit those athletes so they don’t go broke?

I think that if I am trying to interest son in considering jobs that would be more in line with his finance major - suggesting a firm that offers financial mgmt to athletes would pique his interest more so than generic financial mgmt. Your point is very valid - but I’m brainstorming career paths that might interest him.

Yes, RockvilleMom, son is resistant about using career center at college. And like your son, his interest is VERY narrow, even though the general field is HUGE. Son has gotten two internships, so he has the job seeking skills, but the narrowness of his job search for a full time job has landed a big zero. Again, I do not want to hijack, I am just looking for coping skills - for me, really. I think I will offer to send him opportunities that I find, as you suggested.

My coping skills are somewhat limited. I have lots of logical, rational conversations with myself where I remind myself that this too shall pass, lots of people lose jobs and find new ones, he has a degree from a great university, etc. But I worry a lot. It’s bad enough now. But if he comes home to live in July without any decent prospects on the horizon - it is going to be difficult to not constantly hound and micromanage. My main coping skill at the moment is a deep hope that he has some options in play by July.

I don’t think there is anything whatsoever wrong with sending him job leads, as long as he isn’t irritated and feeling pressured about what you are doing. You might have some spectacular ideas that he never would have thought about. And who else knows him and loves him more? Just don’t get overly involved, as it will make you crazy!

I am really trying to stand back and let my kiddo do his job search, mostly because I have nothing useful to offer right now! Maybe I should start offering help, if I have the capability. He just quit his 120K + bonus job (gulp) to search for the bigger, better deal. Felt that he couldn’t adequately job search, flying all over the country. Part of me wants to scream, what are you doing!! But I’m trying to just be supportive and say, whatever you need, we believe in you, good luck honey. Though I’m thinking, “Breathe in, breathe out, it will eventually work out. I hope.”

You are a better person than I, busdriver. That would probably send me over the edge.

Post #50, don’t worry if you do meddling and drive him crazy, he’ll sure to find a job sooner.

Post #51, I would scream too. Your son doesn’t like the location where he was?

Yes. Withholding the internal scream. He lives in NYC and wants to work in Silicon Valley, Seattle, or maybe Boston. Turned down an even better job in NYC. Too much confidence, maybe? I don’t know, he never gets down, just keeps plugging away.

Scream away. This is a safe place to do it.

My coping skill would be chocolate, RVM. Hang in there!


I concur with the chocolate. You know, didn’t we think everything would be so easy when they were adults? That we wouldn’t worry and think about them all the time, if they weren’t there? I think the only difference is that most of the time they aren’t here, so we can’t hug them constantly, while we worry about them.

DD graduates, and she and her spouse will be moving here to visit and job hunt… Notice, I said “visit”, not live. :slight_smile: I am looking forward to having them here, but a little concerned about their job hunts, because they have such interesting skill sets…