Your son is willing to get job leads from you.
Do not involve family members.
Un/Underemployment of cousins is forbidden convo at family dinners.
No one coming up to us and whispering “One word: Plastics” in our ears.
Been there.
Main thing I’ve done to help with my kids’ adult job searches is ask what they are looking for, then set up some automated searches with Indeed.com so I’d get a daily email listing jobs – and I’d glance through them and forward any leads. Both my kids were very happy to use their university career services – my son has just gotten a good job after a long period of under-employment (first he lost a job, then he went back to school full time) – and while there were all sorts of job leads, the job he now has either a listing from his school or else something posted on LinkedIn.
My emailed leads have never resulted in employment for my kids, but many did resulted in interviews. My son had an unfortunate run of ending up being the #2 choice – so he’d go through a 2 or 3 or 4 interviews, and then it would end up that the other finalist got the job.
I never considered my emailed leads to be a sole resource --the main idea was I might catch something they had missed.
My d. at one point applied at a famous tech company and they strung her along with interviews for about 5 months-- they kept calling her back again and again… and same story. Final, culminating interview, down to 2 choices, the other person got hired. So that’s part of the process.
Anyway – good luck. I never nagged about the job leads I sent – the only thing I ever asked for was feedback to know if I was sending stuff that they didn’t want – but my son pretty much was telling me to “send everything” and let him do the screening.
I’ve done the same thing when my kids have been looking for housing-- checking Craiglist for listings and forwarding anything that seems to fit whatever criteria they had at the time. I’ve had better luck on the housing front – or maybe the process of renting a room or apartment is just a lot easier than finding a job.
Your son should view this as an internship or fellowship or some other term employment. He didn’t get fired or terminated, just the term of the position ran out. I’m sure his employers will give great reference letters and answer calls.
Given that he seems to have his personal finances under good control, he has plenty of time for (a) an extended job search that increases the chances of getting a “reach” job, and (b) to learn “the hard way” that his target jobs are “reach” jobs.
Seems like it would only be a real worry later if he is running out of savings after an extended unsuccessful job search and refuses to switch to more realistic target jobs.
“But if he comes home to live in July without any decent prospects on the horizon - it is going to be difficult to not constantly hound and micromanage.”
I don’t see anything other than stagnation and misery for your son if he moves back home. It’s time for him to experience a new kind of misery-the grownup kind where you see your finances dwindling and have that cold knot of terror in the pit of your stomach that spurs you into finding a job and getting your s*** together all on your own.
For the love of god turn his room into a study, tell him you know he doesn’t need your help anymore, you have every confidence in his abilities, and you’ll send him a gift card to Ikea when he gets a job and a new apartment.
It’s uncommon for a postdoctoral or other fellowship to continue on, at a company or at a university. They are usually only for people at a certain stage of their career, and no more or less.
Stop treating this as him losing his job.
The only thing is, he should have realized that already and been looking.
However, don’t turn his room into a study. I am second-generation American, and we don’t force people out of our lives when they need us most. Don’t go for this “you’ll make him unable to function if he lives at home” mentality.
My siblings all lived at home for five years or more after college, and they are perfectly functioning individuals. One was unemployed for part of that time, but either way, my parents:
- did not charge rent
- made lunch for them every day
So, he will find another job, just like the rest of us…I lost my jobs 8 times, on my job #9 and it is the best of them all. Does he have a child to support? If so, does his spouse work? We had a kid, but my husband has been working at the same place. Your S. in not in his late 50s, as far as I can tell. I found my best job in my late 50s and still love it 9 years later. Everything happens for a good reason, believe me, it just meant to be and he will be happy at many other places. Best wishes!
I think that the New England Patriots have a couple of positions available.
Air pressure gauge experience required.
When my adult child quit her job before finding another I wasn’t thrilled but we supported her decision. She came home and we welcomed her. We did set up a meeting about a week after she settled in to discuss the terms of living at home. It is hard not to offer advice. What I did was send her job postings I found on different sites that I thought might interest her. The hard part after sending I told myself what she does with that was her decision. So no asking if she had applied.
I did still find myself offering suggestions. It is hard to keep my opinions totally to myself. I did try to remind myself she was smart and I tried to not suggest the same thing multiple times.
@ClassicRockerDad -lol.
@mom60 - I like your advice about the job postings - send them - but no hounding afterwards.
I know he wants to have a job - he is not a slacker. I’m just worried about the scarcity of positions that meet his ideal job criteria. I like applying the reach/match/safety model and will discuss that with him.
I know with 20/20 hindsight he should have realized the current fellowship position was going to end - but it was never explained to him. He worked for the team for all 4 years of undergraduate and 2 full years after graduation and no one alerted him. I am appreciative that they told him in early May - and he is there through the end of June - so 8 weeks notice is better than 2-3 weeks.
Trying to stay positive and believe that this too shall pass. My mantra.
Daughter of DH’s cousin worked for her college football team for two years. Had been a business/marketing major. When it ended, she found a position with the school’s sports fundraising. If your son was somehow with recruiting, he’d be interesting when dealing with male donors. In my larger area, there are sometimes options for working with local sports radio/TV. Starting small, but a toehold. But he needs to actively explore his options. Good luck.
Thank you. He’s more the introverted analytical type than the social extrovert I think is needed for fundraising, but
i will add to my list of suggestions. I just saw a job posting for an analyst with a fantasy sports company - that was my “opportunity of the day” for him.
When my S finally graduated last year (after 6 year school hiatus), I didn’t want to over-manage, though he really did need a job fairly fast. I saw something on IdeaList that looked possible for him, maybe, and I kept hesitating to mention it, not wanting to look pushy. Finally did, just casual-like, and he said it sounded perfect. Applied, got the interview, got the job. loves it. So I learned that suggestions are certainly worth while, at least with him. (First and only position he applied to, as it turned out.)
I’m glad your son had such an easy job search, and that it has worked out so well!
Very lucky, of course, but I am sure glad I pointed out the position. Point being, that, like you said, sending leads is okay, I think. 
For some reason I was struck today by the title-“adult child loses job”. You’re either an adult, or you’re a child.
You’re never both.
I don’t think that’s true - my children are adults, but they will always be my children…child is a familial relationship, adult is a state of being (or maturity, or age or whatever), but my child will always be my child…at 3, at 30, at…
I’m in my fifties, but I’m still my mother’s child - and she still worries about me.
Maybe young adult would have been better? I was trying to convey that he was an adult, but was my son, not a random adult. I don’t think of him as a child in any sense. How about “Young Adult Son Loses Job” - is that better?
“…as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” Sniff…