<p>I teach very high-poverty kids in Kindergarten. More than a third of my parents convey to me that they can’t discipline their children. There is a curious defeatism and sense of the apathy and powerlessness… and they make statements to me such as "I can’t get him to put on his shoes… (do his homework, follow the rules, go to bed, brush his teeth, get to school on time, etc.) and "He doesn’t listen to me (won’t do what I say, won’t stop what he’s doing when I tell him, etc.)</p>
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<p>A woman who has a child out of wedlock is a parent. How is that denying a child a parent? I’m confused. </p>
<p>Also, the marital status of any woman is none of your business. That does not change should she become pregnant.</p>
<p>I will say I think this is a perfect example of what has already been mentioned. Parents blame other parents with the idea being “parents who do things differently than I do are doing it wrong.”</p>
<p>I find this whole line of thinking to be absurd. My son’s high school has a very high graduation rate for our area. Am I really supposed to believe it’s because the parents are so much better, of course giving myself a big pat on the back at the same time? It’s because the property taxes are higher so we can pay our teachers more and have much better resources. </p>
<p>It’s not rocket science. Truly. But it’s far easier to blame other, different parents than to deal with the complex issue of poverty and the effects of income disparity in the United States.</p>
<p>Yes, parental involvement matters but in good schools, every child learns.</p>
<p>I can read perfectly well; some people either can’t write, or can’t understand the implications of their own writings. “A woman . . . denies,” without mentioning the man, places sole responsibility upon the woman by definition. Expressio unius est exclusio alterius. Way to try to weasel out of your own words.</p>
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<p>Then let me say it another way. A women who intentionally becomes pregnant without being married, (in most situations) denies a child the benefit of having a father present in the household on a daily basis and devoting his time to caring for the child. In other words, two parents (mother and father) are better than one parent (the mother) (all other things being equal).</p>
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<p>[Married</a> Fathers: America?s Greatest Weapon Against Child Poverty | The Heritage Foundation](<a href=“http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2010/06/married-fathers-americas-greatest-weapon-against-child-poverty]Married”>http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2010/06/married-fathers-americas-greatest-weapon-against-child-poverty)</p>
<p>Of course men are at fault for out of wedlock births, but the last or final decision for a women to become pregnant is made by the woman (otherwise it is rape). The marital status of women is everyone’s business when it so often results in poverty and the raising of children in poverty and all of the negative consequences that are elevated by poverty. One of those consequences is less educated and intelligent children. Having a well educated population benefits all of us.</p>
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<p>The whole “some people can’t read” sentiment is expressed here often when someone’s post is intelligently challenged. It’s complete BS and a weak response to responsible, mature discourse.</p>
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<p>Also complete BS. A man can prevent a pregnancy by wearing a condom. Who do you think you are kidding?!</p>
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<p>No, the marital status of women is NOT your business. Sorry if it offends you that I had the gall to have a child out of wedlock 21 years ago. Your blanket statements are blatently wrong and offensive. I hear it can hurt if you fall off your high horse.</p>
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Oh great. Now someone is interpreting my posts using the rules courts apply when interpreting statutes enacted by legislatures. I am expressing opinions not drafting legislation. I got news for you, if I wanted to say men had no fault as you falsely suggested, I would have said that. I didn’t say that.</p>
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<p>There are exceptions to every rule. I don’t know anything about your case and really don’t want to know. When we are dealing with millions of people, however, whether women have children out of wedlock or in marriage directly affects everyone in society. The marital status of any specific woman is irrelevant. The marital status of millions of women is very relevant because it determines poverty in society and the destiny of millions of children.</p>
<p>Are you suggesting that you will not see any material differences between a group of a million children in two parent households and a group of a million children in single parent families?</p>
<p>Sorry, but I don’t like horses. You will have to ride alone.</p>
<p>emeraldkity, my kids were the same way, and their CR SAT scores ended up only 10 points apart. Reading to your kids won’t necessarily speed up when they are ready to read, but it did instill in both a love of reading and a respect for books. Our dinner table conversation, the fact that we played a lot of board games, the lack of cable tv - all sorts of things probably helped our kids academically. Not to say that there aren’t plenty of things I’d wish we’d done better though!</p>
<p>That said, it’s easy to be a good parent, when one parent has a good job and health insurance and the other can get away with working part time. No one needed to work two jobs to keep a roof over our heads. We had healthy parents when the kids were young.</p>
<p>“That said, it’s easy to be a good parent, when one parent has a good job and health insurance and the other can get away with working part time. No one needed to work two jobs to keep a roof over our heads. We had healthy parents when the kids were young.”</p>
<p>Exactly! The issue of planned or unplanned pregnancies and whether they are the business of the general populace is beside the point. The point is that the number one factor in a child’s success in school is poverty. It’s a well researched and documented fact. I agree with Mathmom that it is easier to be a good, consistent, involved parent when you are financially secure. And, quite honestly, I have witnessed some questionable parenting in some very stable, two parent households. No one demographic has a monopoly on foolishness. It is an equal opportunity employer.</p>
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<p>Assuming this is true, the cause of poverty needs to be addressed in order to rectify the problem.</p>
<p>The marital status of women with or without children does not determine poverty in society. It may be a contributing factor but is by no means the major determinant. Lack of full-time jobs, lack of well-paying jobs, lack of services, poor health, etc. are far more important to the levels of poverty than whether or not some girls get pregnant or not.</p>
<p>Unemployment among young blacks, men and women, is at 30.5 percent, more than 3x the national average. I think that probably has more to contribute to poverty than unwed pregnancy. Nevada has an unemployment rate of 14.5%…that’s not just girls with babies at home. Michigan is at 13+. We all want families to take the best possible care of their children. Making it possible to have a single job – instead of having to work several – that pays enough to raise them will be a big step in that direction. </p>
<p>Also, a great many women are indeed having babies without being married, but that doesn’t mean the father doesn’t live in the house. I see many couples who don’t wed until after they’ve had one or even several children. It’s not my style…but I’m too busy living my own life to spend a lot of time judging theirs. </p>
<p>You lumped a great many women into one basket, razorsharp. You can’t be too surprised that some of us want to get out.</p>
<p>*my kids were the same way, and their CR SAT scores ended up only 10 points apart. Reading to your kids won’t necessarily speed up when they are ready to read, but it did instill in both a love of reading and a respect for books. *</p>
<p>Which is something that concerns me when school districts want all children to be at same academic level before they even start school.
My D who couldn’t identify letter sounds in 2nd grade- is now on her school paper.
I feel like instead of teaching to the strenghts of children- we are too concerned with weak areas. All kids can learn- teach them in a way they can be excited about it- instead of making them feel like they have failed when they are only 5 yrs old :(</p>
<p>I’d like to see more emphasis on family support- on helping parents improve their own education level & employability- & teach in school what it takes to be a responsible contributing member of society- how important it is to be able to support a child financially, physically & emotionally- and it goes without saying * accurate* information on birth control.</p>
<p>Pay for women ** still** lags behind men.
It is 2010 for chrissakes!
[ISS</a> - INSTITUTE INDEX: Senate rejects women’s pay equality](<a href=“http://www.southernstudies.org/2010/11/institute-index-senate-rejects-womens-pay-equality.html]ISS”>http://www.southernstudies.org/2010/11/institute-index-senate-rejects-womens-pay-equality.html)</p>
<p>Combine low pay with the truth that if there is only one parent in the home- it is likely to be the woman & there is even more reason for women to retain control of their fertility.</p>
<p>Not even to mention that razorsharp’s comments entirely ignore all the households with two female parents who aren’t married because the law doesn’t permit it. But are nonetheless painted with razorsharp’s ludicrously broad brush labeled “marital status.”</p>
<p>Emeraldkity and Donna L.</p>
<p>Exactly!!!</p>
<p>Maybe the proper term should be “alone parents” rather than “single mothers” in the context of these types of conversations. I think this is what is meant when people argue against single motherhood and all its challenges.</p>
<p>The original piece noted that,“Conservatives were more likely than moderates or liberals to blame parents.”</p>
<p>Seems the discussion here parallels the original piece with liberal trying to pin failure of students on other things as well.</p>
<p>I don’t consider sharing well-researched data to be either liberal or conservative. And it’s the opposite of “pinning the blame”, rather it is a search for solutions.</p>