Advice for a bitter incoming freshman?

College Search & Lists
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Please let me preface this by saying that I AM, in fact, grateful to be attending college in the Fall, and that I do not mean to provoke any backlash for seeming otherwise. Despite being eager to begin college, however, I continue to find it quite challenging to feel excited or proud to be attending my particular school; and I do not want to feel this way. I am hoping to hear advice and perspectives from students who may be in a similar situation.

To make a long story short, I have been a very high-achieving student my entire life. Since age 7 (without exaggeration), it has been my dream to become a pediatric neurosurgeon, and with that dream has come a fierce desire to receive the best education possible. That desire has provided me with tremendous motivation to always do my best. This work ethic ultimately led to me becoming the first person to ever graduate my high school a year early, and as valedictorian from a class of ~400. Extracurricular merit has also been fine: my research has been published; I have accumulated well over 1,000 hours of international volunteer work; and I was happy to lead and found several clubs in my high school. Without going into too many specifics, my personal life has also been quite challenging. I come from modest means, and have had to overcome substantial tragedy in my adolescence, about which I wrote in my admission essays.

Given my situation, I did not deem it all that unrealistic to anticipate admission to a premier university. I applied to 7 of the almost-unanimously-acclaimed “top 15” universities; but alas, with only a few wait list offers, all of which ultimately led to rejections. As a result, I have enrolled in my “safety” school – an institution that US News ranks in the #30 - #40 range (I will keep it anonymous for the purpose of this post). Since enrolling, I have kept active on the college’s Facebook page, attended “Admitted Students Day,” and have actively tried to make the most of it; and I’m sorry to say, but I do not feel that I fit in with the student body at all. They all seem like wonderful people, and I wish them nothing but the best; but it does seem to be a college of B+ students, and that, in and of itself, simply does not motivate me. A thought keeps bubbling to mind, and that is: I would be so much better suited in a more competitive, ambitious environment.

I know I should not be bitter. I know I should be grateful and excited and all; but, how can I NOT ask myself “what the F*** happened” when several of my peers, who (again, I apologize for sounding presumptive or resentful) achieved no more than I – and quite likely much less – were offered admission into “top 10” institutions? How can I not be painfully befuddled?

Yes, I have heard all the platitudes – “the student matters more than the school;” “your college doesn’t define you” – and I suppose there is truth to all of this. But I am still devastated – perhaps because, well, this has always been my #1 priority.

Has anyone else felt absolutely jipped about their college placement? If so, what has your experience been like? Also, what are everyone’s thoughts on a possibly trying to transfer after giving it a go for a year? I understand that this can prove detrimental to an aspiring medical student, so I am understandably apprehensive. Still, I cannot help but contemplate these things when I am jaded with my school before even matriculating…

Thank you for letting me rant. I really do appreciate any and all advice!

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  1. "Gypped" is actually a racial slur, and certain people can be really offended by it, so it might be good to avoid it.
  2. Other than that -- I was in the same boat. And for that reason, I don't have any actual useful advice besides "You'll get over it." Because you will. Not everyone gets to go to those tippy-top schools; whatever. College will be harder than you expect, even at the B+-student school. Soon you'll be working so hard and being so involved that you won't even have time to think about it. Good luck.
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  1. My apologies -- I certainly didn't mean to offend. Thank you for calling me out on that.
  2. Thanks for the encouragement. I just needed to vent a little, even if it were on an online forum :P
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Here, maybe this will help: http://www.myfoxboston.com/story/18720284/2012/06/06/full-transcript-youre-not-special-speech

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You could try a gap year, then try the whole stressful admissions application process again. Or you can just dig in and continue to be the high achieving student with a lot to give who wants to be a pediatric neurosurgeon and work on that. Grieve your losses, then move on. Those are your choices.

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Haha, yes, I remember watching this a few years ago! It is spot-on, but still doesn’t explain the inconsistency of admission. Thanks for the reminder.

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Hm. Pediatric Neurosurgery. Sounds like a great time trying to fix and then manage for a lifetime all those babies that don’t come out quite right.

Here’s my advice to you; lose the bitterness, go to college, achieve great things competing with all those B+ students, spend all your extra time getting into medical school at whatever places spurned you and then go about doing something that will help you to be the greatest pediatric neurosurgeon ever.

Do let us know if you get in to medical school and get that neurosurgery residence and pediatrics fellowship

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At the top colleges -50% of the students accepted end up in the BOTTOM half of the class!
YOU have the chance to graduate at the TOP of your college class.
Med school admissions are brutally tough and your college GPA will be a HUGE factor in determining where you are accepted.
So take advantage of EVERY opportunity you have during your UG years.
Study hard, do research, get to know the top profs there and apply for prestigious summer internships where ever you can.
REMEMBER what your ULTIMATE goal is- getting into Med School.
Keep your eyes on the prize, and go and get it!

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It does sound you’re giving it your best attempt. But so far you haven’t actually met the students yet. Facebook isn’t really the best way to get to know other students academically. Keep your mind open when you actually do set foot on campus and get to know the real them
.
However, if with even your best attempt you find it a struggle to fit in and difficult to get involved, then look for other options. Your academics and extracurriculars could suffer - yes, even in a safety school where you believe you are smarter than the other students- if you end up isolating yourself, feel uncomfortable in the place you will be living for four years, etc. If after a few months you feel your mental health is being threatened, then that is more important than any problems that could occur when transferring.

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I agree with @menloparkmom. If you believe that the college you have chosen can get you into a upper tier medical school then you are on track. I am a former residency director and I rarely looked at where someone did their UG. I was focused on where the applicant attended medical school, how well they did in medical school and how committed they were to the field.

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I agree with Menlo Park Mom. You have the chance to truly shine at the B+ school; if you are at the top, your chances for medical school will increase. You need to throw yourself into building an academic and social life - excel in both, including being a leader in activities.

Of course, none of us have any idea why you were overlooked by your top choice colleges - it happens to many students. You must have been somewhat close since you were waitlisted at a few. The only thing I could see that you might have done differently, is to have a more balanced college list. You could have included several colleges in-between your top choices and your “safety.” There are so many second and third tier schools where students are challenged and thrive. I’m not sure why it was “the top” or “the safety.”

Walk into school confident and determined to make it work. If you are unhappy after giving it your best try, then transfer. Many teens transfer and it works out just fine.

Good luck to you!

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Thank you, everyone! Reading your replies truly does give me some peace of mind.
@anonymous26, it is very reassuring to hear that from a former residency director! I will just have to keep my chin up and keep that dream of a neurosurgical residency alive! :slight_smile:

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I am sure a school ranked 30-40 has b+ students, but I also think it would have many A+ students. You can be a standout. As a standout, you would have many opportunities, like pouring yourself into research, etc. I am sorry you are disappointed to be attending a lesser school. Please get beyond rankings and understand there will be a range of students and it won’t be hard to find your people.

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Wait, I thought you said your number one priority was to become a pediatric neurosurgeon?

How did your number one priority become to attend a prestigious undergrad just a few sentences later?

In any case, it was unrealistic to anticipate admission to a top 15 university. It’s extremely difficult to get in to those schools these days without a hook or applying ED and your profile isn’t all that different from the many other unhooked kids who are in the top 1 percentile (there are about a hundred thousand kids like graduating from HS each year, BTW).

The good news for you is that you actually haven’t been hindered at all in reaching your first goal of becoming a pediatric neurosurgeon. Every single school that is 30-40 in the USN university rankings is very good and will provide you with more than plenty of opportunities to excel and form a terrific med school application package.

Whether you do so is a different question, however. The pre-med path is unforgiving, and the pre-med classes at those “USN 30-40 tier” universities will be just as tough as those at the elites.

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I would focus on the end goal. If medical school is your goal getting good GPA at a school for a B+ students could actually be a blessing in disguise.

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Read this thread:
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/905843-top-student-at-a-3rd-tier-school-four-years-later-p1.html

No one is guaranteed admission to the top-level places where you applied, and even when they do get in, all too many of those students find out that the dream school is unaffordable. This means that lots of students who are even harder working than you are have ended up attending colleges and universities much lower ranking than the one you are headed to this fall. But those who are successful in achieving their long-range goals are those who choose to keep their eyes on the prize, and take advantage of the opportunities offered to them. If you decide to not take a gap year, and you do enroll this fall at the place you aren’t so happy about today, you will almost certainly meet at least one or two academic peers who have landed there for the same reasons you have.

If your goal is to become a pediatric neurosurgeon, then the first step is to get through the pre-med program with the best grades possible, and the least amount of debt. The name on your undergrad diploma doesn’t matter at all. The name on your med school diploma barely matters at all. What matters is where you can get your medical residencies.

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I have a real life story to offer here, very similar to you except this kid may not be the top student of his high school, but he probably didn’t think it was worth to put in the effort for UCSD, ranks between 30-50, where he got into UCSD for premed, he thought it’s an easy school. I think UCSD kicked his ass and his GPA was too low for medical school, he had to do a PhD to raise his grades and then he reapplied to a medical school. It could be worst for you if you underestimate the safety. In the end, he did get into a medical school but not a top notch medical school by far and it certainly took him and his family a lot more financial resources and time. Long winding road.

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Since when did UNC-CH, Boston College, NYU, William and Mary, Rochester, Brandeis, Georgia Tech, UCSD, CWRU, UCD, Lehigh, and UCSB ([USNWR #30 to #40](http://colleges.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-universities/data/page+2)) become schools of disappointment?

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They are not tippy top 10 or top 20 schools, not even in Some of CC sub forum.

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I doubt that they are seas of B+ students either, those schools are highly selective …

OP, if you really want that 3.8 GPA in one of the schools above, you better get your act together and work hard.

Schools 1-29 just don’t have that many seats, so you are going to meet a lot of good students at school 3x who also want to do well and are just as well prepared as you … maybe just minus a published paper and good old volunteer work in the USA (1000 hours in 4 years is 5 hours a week … oh, boy). Maybe some of them have full scholarships at school 3x … maybe some of them live locally and didn’t want to move to the colder climes. Maybe some are BS/MD pre-admits, or have done research for a professor they want to continue … I think you will be shocked at what your competition really is.

Honestly, I don’t really think your pre-med competition is even 50% at schools 1-29.

Wait until you meet your fellow pre-meds !!

Or - hey, maybe you are advanced, so after say freshman fall year and you have that 4.0 with a 100 average, I think there will be some professor with a genuine PhD from a genuine top school who you can assist. Or you can start a service org at your school, or a club, or a pre-med activity, or really volunteer big at a local hospital since you don’t need to study. Even start a business … .etc.

Colleges at this level offer really limitless opportunities, intellectually and outside of school.