<p>The h’s good friend’s son just finished at U of Chicago MBA at age 23. So even for a program as exulted as theirs it is not a requirement as far as we know. When I talked to the young man he said he is actually happy he came from undergrad directly, as some of the quantitative analysis is just brutal, even for someone like him who has an engineering undergrad. He said his far more experienced classmates leaned on him to help out with the math actually. It is true that most of his classmates has working experience and they are better than him where case analysis is important. He said he chose to do an MBA right away after graduation because it gives him a chance of working at senior positions than if he has a bachelors- he “did not want to start a low level positions” (his exact words, not mine).</p>
<p>Actually most people we know of go directly into an MBA without a break in schooling at all. Sometimes it’s because of lack of good positions at the time they graduate, and because they can. Sometimes what I see is that after an interval, life interferes - getting married, having family and all that. Happened to several people I know. It’s a lot harder getting a MBA with 2 kids - something is bound to give. I don’t have a strong feeling about d getting a MBA, or not. </p>
<p>I just know when one’s grades are good, more opportunities are available in terms of further education or maybe at certain jobs. </p>
<p>Last summer she had a similar situation, she took a summer course, worked at her two jobs and ended up with a C-. In context, it’s not totally her fault, class average was a D-. But it dropped her GPA from 3.1 to 2.9 and closed the door to business school for undergrad. So that was a severe impact on her future choices. She only just managed to finish her second year with a 3.4 so she has to be mindful to not to let it drop. </p>
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<p>I was joking, but at the same time for us it’s a matter of competing family interests - only surviving grands who are almost 80 and haven’t seen them in almost 2 years and who kept asking for them to visit (well, we the parents are invited too, but I know who my parents really want to see). Obviously there is value for both - old & young to see each other. Grands were invited to visit to see them but have some health issues currently so they can’t. </p>
<p>As for manipulation - honestly, as my children grows, there will be less and less direct orders but more and more manipulation - as the h just told me - "why dear, you are so good at XYZ and I am no good… " so I end up with doing somethings I rather not :)</p>
<p>The point is… your daughter needs to make her own choices. I am the poster who suggested that you encourage your daughter to look for an unpaid internship (see post #70) and apparently that has worked out well … so please listen to my advice. (My kids have turned out really well). ;)</p>
<p>I know it is hard to see your kids make choices that seem unwise to you, but it is their life, not yours. We parents have to back off and give the kids room to make mistakes. You may be afraid that too much work will impact your daughter’s GPA, but it is not as simple as that. I find that for myself, the busier I am, the more productive I am overall. It seems the same way with my kids – I think that we are the type who “rise” to the occasion, and we get more adrenalin in our system or whatever it takes when we are very busy. So you may see your daughter’s GPA improves when she is feeling more energized and self-empowered due to the obligations she has taken on. </p>
<p>Even if this is not the case, things will work out for her. If her GPA is not good enough for her to get into the program she wants right now, she will make other employment and education choices. It may not be what you planned and what you envisioned – but if your daughter is focused on doing what she wants, it will probably still work out well. </p>
<p>The more that you as a parent try to manipulate or interfere, the more you will undermine your daughter’s ability to find her own strengths and excel. </p>
<p>So you should be very happy that right now your concerns have shifted from worrying about whether your daughter is too lazy to worrying about whether she is working too hard – but shift your focus to being a supportive parent, not to trying to find ways to manipulate. I know that it would be nice for her to see her grandparents, but the grandparents may have to wait – do encourage your daughter to PHONE the grandparents, though! I know that my parents and my mother-in-law are so happy when my son calls them – he is now everyone’s favorite grandchild simply because he gives them a call every couple of weeks to say hello. This would actually be far more meaningful to them than the visit, because it can take place right away and be sustained over time.</p>
<p>First, there is something like 3516 views to this thread That must be a mistake ? I can’t imagine a mundane and honestly not that important topic got so many views ? I am feeling a little weird. </p>
<p>Second: everyone is right. I am probably getting over involved. It’s hard to me to figure out the right balance of enough or not enough parenting. I can never quite figure out the difference between guidance and control. </p>
<p>In thinking back about last summer, she had to quit one of the two jobs because the hours were getting too much - 5 days of graveyard shift (12 am -8am), plus another one that take up all Saturday and 2 more weekday evenings. I think those hours affected her course grade, she was getting so tired she didn’t have time to study enough. I will remind her of what happened last summer and let her decide. I know for myself I have a tendency to overwork and burn out. I am an adult and I still do, it’s one of my weaknesses. (Overeating is another one… :o) I should at least discuss the possibility with her.</p>
<p>Btw, my kids can’t really talk to the grands on the phone. Language barrier. :o</p>
<p>Can your kids send pictures or drawings to the grandparents? I really do think that the grandparents will appreciate any little gesture that keeps them updated and also shows that the kids are thinking of them, even if it is little more than a greeting card.</p>
<p>Wow, I started reading the first couple of pages, went to the end, and voila, things seem to be working out. . . I would love it if my kids had such a great GPA going into Jr. year. My initial thoughts had been, having a son with learning disabilities also, is that we sometimes expect more from the other children who do not, maybe to ‘prove’ to outsiders that we (parents) are not ‘failures’. As a result, we sometimes expect those kids to live up to our expectations, instead of letting them figure things out on their own. It sounds as though your daughter is doing a fine job of figuring things out. Congratulations. Be proud.</p>
<p>Thank you Calmom ! Pictures are a good idea, we used to send them regularly but became lazy after the event of digital pictures, then we just emailed them. But their grands don’t use the computer and count on the others to show it to them. However their grandmother had started a relentless campaign for us to visit (feels like I am getting calls every 3 days and she told everybody we are visiting) and I am feeling guilty. She has gone so far as giving the kids the money for the flights - sending them checks. She just offered to send them more money for the visit last week. :rolleyes: Anyway, I will deal with it, one way or another. </p>
<p>Marnik: Thank you for your insight ! With her older brother being so different from her I did sometimes wonder if I expect too much from her. But she exhibit such strengths and abilities since she was a teeny tot it’s hard not to. For eg. we held her back a year because the public school system we transitioned to said it’s not good for children to skip a year, and not good for siblings in the same grade. (In the Montessori school system we came from she was allowed to advance at her own pace and she was a grade ahead). We deferred to the “experts” but even today we didn’t know if it was a good move or not. She will graduate when she is 21, had she skipped a grade she would only be 20 (birthday’s towards the end of year). In every milestone it is as if she is the older sibling, not younger. I try to be fair and balanced with both kids but who knows if I am.</p>
<p>munchkin, I’m not at all surprised that this thread has so many views. I have a son who has not found a summer job yet and I came to see if I could get any ideas on how to help him find something - anything…(he’s been home from school for a month and his school doesn’t start until the very end of September so there’s still time for him to make some money). I’m sure there are other parents out there with kids who haven’t found summer job or won’t look. Glad to hear your D found work.</p>
<p>Maybe this has already been suggested, but have you given your parents a digital photo frame ? You can just send them new chips to load in - they are super easy to use. Not too expensive either, if you catch a good sale.</p>
That must be a mistake ? I can’t imagine a mundane and honestly not that important topic got so many views ? I am feeling a little weird. </p>