<p>My daughter is in 2nd year college and looking for a summer job. She was not too proactive so I got a job for her at my CPA’s. I don’t like to do these kind of things for her at this age but I figure that’s better than looking at her sleeping till noon all summer and slacking off. She was supposed to answer the phones and they will train her in some accounting work. I thought the job will be her a taste of what office work is like and maybe see if she like accounting. She turned it down, giving the reason she is taking this one summer course, “to lighten her third year course load”. </p>
<p>So she continued sleeping in and generally slacking. Then I got her another job as a receptionist at an doctor’s office, shift work so she can work around her summer course which is at 10-12pm, two days a week. She just came back from training she said she won’t taking that job. She said it is too hard and they “expect too much from her”. I tried talking to her and she said they expected her to work by herself on Monday and there was too much she does not know. I said is there anyone there to ask and she said she was told to ask the doctor if she has any questions. I said if she has questions or can’t handle a situation she can call home and I will help. But she is adamant she is not going back. </p>
<p>We are footing her college expenses but I expect her to get real life working experience. She is studying Economics and Spanish and she said there are no summer jobs for Spanish & Economics majors. She applied to a lot of big companies online but she never had any response back (as expected).</p>
<p>I am very upset with her. We don’t need the money but I think she is acting like a brat, behaving as if she is too good for some jobs (I suggested that she work at retail store or a restaurant but she turned her nose up) or giving up so easily. She is bright but I would say, not ever a go getter or ever shown much initiative. </p>
<p>I am so angry and disappointed with her right this minute I am afraid I am going to say something I will regret.</p>
<p>Apparently she doesn’t need the money. So as a parent, I would make sure she had none. It might be true that you don’t need the money, but she should. You must have made life just too easy for her.</p>
<p>We give the kids the necessities but no luxuries. They have no car, takes the bus if necessary. No clothing allowance. No vacation either, which kills us as we want to travel to Europe as a family.</p>
<p>We pay for tuition, as agreed upon before they went to college, they are responsible for half of college expenses, which I am fronting for right now. I have asked both kids to take out student loans.</p>
<p>Search monster and you’ll see that there are no jobs for humanities-lit majors but plenty of internships available for econ & biz majors.</p>
<p>Time to say honey, we’ll pay tution, books and R&b in the fall, and that’s it. If you want ANY spending money for offcampus activities or clothes, you will have to purchase them with money YOU earn.</p>
<p>tough situation. if she doesn’t need the money, and that’s what it’s all about, then i don’t see why you’re getting on her case. however if it’s because she’s not trying to gain work experience in her related field of study, then yea that could be another situation altogether (though I think most internships out there are mainly for juniors and seniors). anyways i would say if it’s about the money, let her be. you made the decision to pay her college bills. it doesn’t sound like an agreement was made that she has to help pay them too. if so, then yea I can see why you’d be mad. but choose your words carefully i suppose next time. let her make her own mistakes. stop getting her jobs. cut down or get rid of what she receives from you during the school year and the summer.</p>
<p>bluebay : both kids have no allowances. BTW, her brother is not like this, though he is not working as well - he is still in school and have lds, so life is much more of a struggle for him.</p>
<p>Wait, so if you expect her to pay half of her college expenses and aren’t paying for luxuries, is she expecting the other half of the money for her expenses to fall from the sky? Is she thinking you’ll bail her out? If she’d rather not have any luxuries in exchange for having more free time over the summer, I suppose that’s a fair trade-off, but if she’s going to end up crying for help when she can’t cover her bills, that’s another matter altogether.</p>
<p>What does she want to do when she graduates? Does she work while she’s at school during the year? Does she not realize that an empty resume isn’t going to bode well for being employable when she graduates?</p>
<p>Our daughter, through our family contact, have 3 part time jobs this summer. All of those people really like our daughter because she has done some work for them before, so they have all told her that she could have flexible hours with them. She has been home for a week or so now, I notice she is still hanging around the house and only working a few hours a week. I sat her down a few days ago to set down the rules. I told her that I expected $3000 from her this summer to go toward her tuition, she could keep anything over above that for next year. I came up with that number by figuring she would work 40 hours per week for 8-10 weeks this summer. Before she started college we have agreed that she would contribute toward her tuition - some from summer earning and borrow rest of it from us. We decided on that because we didn’t want her to take college for granted. We do not need her to work or contribute toward her tuition, but I believe in people having a stake in anything that’s important to them. I am still going her monthly allowance this summer, but that $3000 is not negotiable. We didn’t have a big argument about it because she knows when I am serious. She is a lot more proactive about her work since we had our talk.</p>
<p>munchkin, I wouldn’t pay for her summer course or any spending money unless she gets a job.</p>
<p>both kids had been saving since they were toddlers, you know the save 1/2 of your allowance thing ? WE enforced that, lol. That and the monetary gifts the grands gave them over the last 18 years cames to a few thousand. She worked last summer in a health club and a grave yard (all night shift) at a data entry center so she has a couple of thousand from that. I have to say she is much better with her spending habits unlike the high school years so the money is enough so far. </p>
<p>She did work last summer and for a short period even held down two jobs - the shift work at the heath club and the graveyard shift, and I was so happy with her. I thought the drive and good work ethic I had tried to instill finally showed up and she had matured. So I don’t know what is happening this year.</p>
<p>If you know she CAN work hard (as she has previously) and that she has money saved and understands none is coming from you, then I think it is time to get out the duct tape and use it to keep your mouth closed, hard as that is. Avoid contact when possible. Smile when you can. If you keep finding her jobs you are interfering in her process of doing what she has to do. At least she has a work history and is able to save and has the evidence for that. Hard as it is, I’d get out of her way and let her figure out what is required to earn the money she needs. Just stop fronting her anything. She sounds smart but stubborn and must be making her own point in some kind of way.</p>
<p>Acutally, she was always an underachiever and a bit of a slacker. I blamed it on the high school she went to and the company she kept. (Probably misplaced) That’s why when she went off to an academic sweat shop of a college and after a year away, found the jobs last summer all my herself I thought she had turned a corner. I was so proud and happy with what I thought was a good character development last year. </p>
<p>I am just so upset that she had/is going to turn down two relatively decent (in my mind) jobs. I thought an office job or working in a doctor’s office give invaluable experience in dealing with the public, how office procedures work etc. I teach my kids, in life, never turn down an opportunity until you have something better lined up. In the first one she thought she may be able to get back to the data center she worked at last summer, which didn’t pen out. Today she said she got an interview at a community center. </p>
<p>I don’t know what else to cut from her budget. I already paid for her summer course. I am starting to cut back on more expensive dinners out because I declared it’s too much to pay for them. I feel kind of mean doing that.</p>
<p>Sounds like she’ll work at jobs that she finds herself and she won’t work at jobs that you find for her. I"d quit looking for jobs for her–too much aggravation and a waste of your time.</p>
<p>I guess that is a possibility that didn’t occur to me. I was thinking of shelling out a few thousand getting an agency to get her some choice internships too. </p>
<p>And I am putting a word out to my investment adviser to get her a job at a very large bank. </p>
<p>Maybe I should save my money and my efforts. Sigh. </p>
<p>I really should kick her out - She lived in the dorm for the first year, and then we moved into the city to be closer to her brother and her and she requested to come home to stay, saying she missed us. Well, we missed her too, esp. her dad and we thought it’s just for a year. Now it appears it is going to be for the rest of her undergrad. I think she is trying to save money by staying home, but she is getting on my nerves, not that I don’t love her to pieces.</p>
<p>munchkin - she is not trying to save money by staying home, it’s not her money she is saving, it’s yours, so what gives? It is curious that you moved to be closer to them. Just my view, but I think maybe you have made it too comfortable for your daughter. I wouldn’t be surprised if she should continue to stay home after college - to find that perfect job. Maybe some tough love is needed here?</p>
<p>In our family, we never had that discussion. My daughter looked at the cost of tuition, room, and board and came to her own conclusion that, to avoid being a spoiled brat, she should earn her own spending money. I can’t imagine having her home for a summer without working.</p>
<p>oldfort : It suited us to move into the same city, her older brother had serious learning disabilities, discovered late (my fault) and after a long and intensive research, I found a school that promised to “cure” him, despite what the neuropsychologist told us. That school (only 3 in all of north America) just happened in the same city as her college. This city suited our needs as well and we have lived here before, so we moved. We didn’t move here solely because of the kids. </p>
<p>She is saving some of her money by staying home because she is responsible for 1/2 of her college expenses. So the less money she spends, the less money she owes us. I have a feeling collection from my kids may be a problem, the way she is behaving right now - so lackadaisical , but no matter, I want them to feel responsible. </p>
<p>To answer a previous poster : she said she wants to go the grad school - I always tell her grad school is on her own, she either has to work to save up or get some financial assistance from the college.</p>