Advice Needed After ED Rejection

Our D is looking to improve her essay before the RD this year. She is HS graduating 2025. I have been reading here that there are essay readers on CC. How to go about them.

Also academically she is driven, on deadlines great results and incredible resume. We did not need to worry about any of those but after the P rejection, we all are double guessing essay and supplemental. And would appreciate advice on what to do next. While we know that from her top 10 college lists and safeties, she has a lot of chances but getting over the fact of the first rejection after a great application, it feels challenging and we need a third party to evaluate and see where we stand. What do people recommend?

2 posts were merged into an existing topic: College Counselling

The first thing that comes to mind is that you will get more useful responses on this web site if you give us more useful information to go with. As one example, I do not see the name of the university where your daughter was rejected. I see it described as “P”, which makes me think of Princeton, except that Princeton does not have early decision (they do have SCEA – single choice early action). I will assume for the purpose of this post that it was either Princeton, or a similarly highly ranked university or college.

Rejection from Princeton is the most likely outcome for even very strong students. Assuming that she does not literally have a Nobel Prize, and that neither parent is the head of state of a medium sized country, rejection is the most likely outcome by far even for the strongest students. I have seen estimates for other top schools (specifically Stanford and MIT) that somewhere around about 80% or 85% of applicants are academically qualified to attend, but closer to 4% or maybe 5% get accepted.

Also, admissions at the most selective (also known as “rejective”) universities in the US is very hard to predict, and is not entirely based on merit. You can neither accurately predict nor count on getting accepted to any of the top 10 or even top 20 universities.

However, as many of us have said many times, there are a huge number of very good universities in the US. You can get a great education at any one of at least 200 colleges and universities in the US or at any one of just as many schools outside the US. There are very good research and internship opportunities at hundreds of different schools. At least in my family we have lots of experience that supports this.

Another piece of advice that I can suggest is that the student should be authentic. They should participate in the ECs that are correct for them. They should take the classes that are correct for them. Their essays should come from the student themselves and reflect the student’s own feelings and thoughts. I did not even read my daughter’s essays. I trusted them to do a good job.

You might want to read the “applying sideways” blog on the MIT admissions web site. As I understand it, it recommends that the student take the classes that are right for them, participate in the ECs that are right for them, be kind, be authentic, and whatever you do, do it well. This is pretty much exactly what I did to get into MIT (for a bachelor’s degree) and Stanford (for a master’s degree). This is what my wife did to get into Columbia (master’s), and what our daughters did to get into very good graduate programs that are a good fit for them (they are both currently studying for a doctorate, a DVM and a PhD). However the specific classes and ECs that each of us did were very different. What was right for me and what was right for my wife were not the same. Also, the four of us ended up at eight different universities (one each for a bachelor’s, and a different one each for graduate school). Again what was right for each of us was different.

When I was applying to graduate schools I was turned down by my “dream school” and instead attended my second choice. I eventually figured out that my second choice had always been a far better fit for me – I loved it. In the same sense, things usually work out very well for a wide range of academically strong students. Things just do not always work out exactly the same way that we had originally expected. If your daughter was turned down by her first choice, she is very likely to have a similar experience and get into another excellent university that turns out to be a good fit for her.

This whole system of university admissions in the US feels random, unpredictable, and unfair. However, it nonetheless works out very well for the large majority of academically strong students, with students ending up with admissions to very good universities that are a good fit.

Best wishes. I expect that this will work out well one way or another.

14 Likes

If your daughter would like feedback on her essay, she should follow these instructions.

2 Likes

Thank you for a very thorough response. And yes your assumption was correct that its Princeton and this is EA and not ED. We mostly stayed out of her lane throughout and she has been driving her academic career and is being very authentic in what she chooses to study and participates in. Since she has never been focused on impressing college admission officer during her high school, we tend to worry a lot about her. And may be due to this fact, we became more suggestive during her Princeton EA application. Kudos to you and your family for your ability to secure placements in well recognized colleges with the approach you have taken. We are hoping that with her true passion, she will land in a program that will give her the platform to learn and contribute back.

She did express to us that all throughout her HS she has been enjoying and has been speaking her mind. But this college application felt non personal to her. And that made us question our participation. So going forward with other schools, the worry is that should she change her essays and supplements and speak her mind and be creative, would she be able to make her deadlines. Or tweak the essay remove areas that she added to connect her world to the college she was applying to and just share her passion and story and truly we shouldn’t even read or worry about it as we know the rest of her work and passion is well reflected throughout her application?

Great recommendation on article “applying sideways” totally makes sense.

Kudos to you

1 Like

Very good reminder. Thank you. My D21 went to her 2nd choice after being turned down from her ED (which is my alma mater). It’s very true that it isn’t the end of the world and she is about to graduate from college. She keeps reminding me that this is the right fit for her. And she is the one who reminds me from time to time that D25 will be fine too. She got one acceptance but is deferred by one EA.

4 Likes

This is actually good. She was being herself…not trying to impress some adcoms someplace. Authentic is good!

She will thrive wherever she goes to college!

Her essays should be in her voice…and convey her. Perhaps one of our essay readers can give you some free advice. It’s very possible that her essays are fine!

I am bold facing this because it’s important. You have NO idea why your daughter was not accepted to Princeton. And if she gets accepted elsewhere, you won’t know why either. Princeton has single digit acceptance rates, and an over abundance of very strong applicants. They simply can’t accept all of the fine applicants who apply.

15 Likes

As one of the many volunteer essay reader’s and I have read others applying to Princeton etc. It’s not the essay. It’s not the application. It’s not your daughter.

You will never know. @DadTwoGirls nailed it with great advice.

A friend of ours kid got denied from Princeton. Great stats. Poor kid ended up at University of Chicago. He realized afterwards that even if he got accepted that Princeton wasn’t the right school for him. He applied for namesake of it.

I am sure your daughter will end up at a great school and do well.

7 Likes

This topic was automatically closed 180 days after the last reply. If you’d like to reply, please flag the thread for moderator attention.