<p>Might be needle-phobia. My H. was one of those “wait till I’m unconcious then call 9-11” types. Bad experiences in his childhood had him terrified of needles. </p>
<p>When he became seriously ill in the aftermath of Katrina, the only way I could get him to the “emergency room” (a tent at the Convention Center) was to threaten to send him out of Louisiana till the infrastructure was rebuilt. </p>
<p>He is doing much better now, but it has been a hard hard road. I always go with him the first time he has to see a new doctor, because otherwise there will be so much “traffic” that the doctor is gone the time he gets there.</p>
<p>So true. This is what I’m worried about. (I’m the OP.) I have another friend, age 55, who just had a stroke despite being slim, fit and active. He was also in the no-doctor camp. He had been walking around with undetected high blood pressure and high cholesterol. The stroke affected his speech and also caused some fine-motor problems. And now, of course, he’s on medication, and probably MORE medication than he would have been on to treat the blood pressure and cholesterol. And he’s dealing with impairments besides. Sad.</p>
<p>These things can be checked without going to a doctor. </p>
<p>You can monitor your own blood pressure by buying a sphygmomanometer from the store and you can get your cholesterol checked at health fairs or at the drug store when it runs a free cholesterol check day. </p>
<p>If you have a friend or relative with diabetes, you can check your fasting glucose once in a while. </p>
<p>If you give blood, you can have access to blood pressure info and hemoglobin results since they are checked right before you donate. Also, you can go online and have results of certain blood tests that they run–I think cholesterol is one of them.</p>
<p>If you are suffering symptoms or get high or low readings, you have to go to a doctor–of course.</p>
<p>But if you can’t get the guy to take a physical given by a doctor, then a do it yourself regimen is better than nothing.</p>
I’ve seen doctors for routine things like a colonoscopy, physical, skin cancer check, not really many visits, but haven’t had any of the docs prescribe meds for me and I’m happy to say I am, and always have been, drug free.</p>
<p>The life insurance H & I purchased required a “physical” that consisted of a nurse who came to our house, took blood pressure, listened to heart and lungs, asked a bunch of questions and took blood. Not the same as actually having to make an appointment and go to a doctor’s office and see a doctor.</p>
<p>If one suspects it’s a fear of future tests, needles, meds, or money making schemes…maybe partition the problem into two parts. </p>
<p>Agreeing to see a doctor doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have additional tests, needles, meds etc. You can go, talk to the doctor and take it from there. One has a choice and they are not held hostage. They can take the information they get, and make an informed decision from there (assuming most people believe they have enough intellectual wherewithall to do so). Just not wanting the information though seems more than a bit dysfunctional to me. </p>
<p>I once had a friend aghast that I went for a physical to exam all my moles. I did so because there was a readily available clinic and it was great to get peace of mind. My friend on the other hand, was of the school of thought that it is just best not to know. Huh? Just hard to appreciate that mindset in this day and age where cancer no longer means a death sentence. It doesn’t hold true for all cancers, but survival rates are pretty good for so many cancers if they are caught early.</p>
<p>Is your friend’s H in good health? Are his parents alive? If so, are they also in good health? If the answer is ‘yes’ to all three, he doesn’t need a doctor. How do I know this? My H, the doctor, told me.</p>
No sex until he goes. Extra sex when he does. That would work for most men. Me, anyway. </p>
<p>I didn’t go to a doctor for many years because my old doctor was a liar and worse, and had the rudest office staff ever. I got more interested in health a few years ago, and after a long search I found a doctor who practices “functional medicine”. It’s all about treating the whole body and finding the actual cause, rather than throwing a pill at it to ease the symptoms (he is against statins in almost all cases, for example). He is the opposite of the “5 minute visit and here’s a prescription” kind of doctor. He does a lot of blood work, which I like, and drugs are pretty much the last resort. Lots of supplements, though.</p>
<p>I had two friends (both male) in their 40’s, both who seemed healthy, drop dead in the last year of heart problems. Don’t know if they were seeing a doctor regularly or not. I hope so; it’s even sadder to think that something as simple and non-invasive as a cardiogram could have saved their lives.</p>
<p>I have one of those spouses, too. Hasn’t been to a doctor since a year or two before I was diagnosed with cancer at age 41. We are talking about 1999-2000 or so. (You’d think he’d want to make sure he was around for the kids if, G-d forbid, something happened to me before they grew up?) </p>
<p>He’s overweight, overworked, does not exercise, and has diabetes in the family. Eats terribly poorly. He is very well insured, as he reminds me when I ask him to see a doctor. At least I will be a wealthy widow, he says. (He got the policy when I was pregnant with S2.)</p>
<p>Do any of you make appointments for your spouses? I am resistant – part of me says that darnit, he’s 49 years old. He’s old enough to get himself to a medical professional. Part of me says I have enough medical issues to worry about myself without listening to him complain that he didn’t like the doctor I picked!</p>
<p>I think many men don’t want to suffer the indignity of a the digital prostate exam (a.k.a. “finger up the butt”), although they will never admit that to their wives, so they refuse to get a physical.</p>
<p>Tell him he doesn’t have to have this done if he doesn’t want to. Chances are the doctor will shame him into it when he gets there.</p>
<p>Oh, good grief. Seriously? I’ve been getting annual physicals for over 30 years. Not ONE med prescribed. </p>
<p>Not until this year, when I had blood pressure readings of 190/80, 194/80, then 174/90 and 170/90 on consecutive visits. Very scary. One day after going on a very low dose antihypertensive (10 dollars per month drug), my blood pressure has not been over 128/70. My mom has extensive high blood pressure/diabetes/smoking history and multiple massive strokes as a result. Looking at my Mom who is wheelchair bound and suffering severe hemiparalysis at the young age of 68, that $10 a month drug is looking pretty damn good.</p>
<p>My husband is that way, and he’s a doctor…We got the policy.He’s pretty good at doing healthy things. Sigh… jk</p>
<p>BTW, ordering tests, etc, usually COSTS a medical group money these days. Doctors don’t usually make money on referrals or labs. Only the ones doing the procedures,</p>
<p>Shrinkrap…yeah it dawned on me in this discussion that my husband is also a health professional and you’d think he’d be into visiting a doctor, but never does it. Interesting to hear your husband is like that too.</p>
<p>Counting Down,
You described my husband perfectly. I call and make him an appointment. Best case scenario, he forgets he has the appointment until it is too late to cancel it without a charge. He’s too frugal to pay for the visit and not go :)</p>
<p>I have a brother like that, coming for a visit from overseas. No Dr. in years. With our family history of hypertension, is essential that he connect with the medical world. Our dad was like that, and died too young of strokes post untreated hypertension. Will at least try to get his blood pressure with my home machine. </p>
<p>For those with a family history of diabetes or risk factors, they really need to have their blood sugar checked on occasion. Those two, along with unexamined suspicious moles are so important, as the lack of treatment can lead to a world of hurt. I work in cardiology, and so often men are sitting there post stent sheepishly saying the wife made them come in, sometimes after days of badgering. It is stupid, it is unfair to the women, etc. But the bottom line is that they need to be seen for a few essentials on rare occasion. I agree with the poster who suggested home BP checks, mall clinics or whatever makes it easier. By any means necessary! Otherwise, yes, keep good life insurance in force!</p>
<p>Best not to wait until the engine block cracks to get your car serviced. Sure, you can drive on without ever checking under the hood, but you won’t get as many miles out of it.</p>
<p>I have a real hostility toward medical personnel, hospitals, clinics, medical office buildings. I can feel it rising in me when I walk in the door. I think part of it stems from growing up in an area with few doctors, where a 2 pm appointment meant that you might possibly see a doctor at 5 pm. I remember waiting at the doctor’s office and after a few hours overhearing a phone call where they were saying the doctor wasn’t even in the office…my time was worth so little that they couldn’t even say “come back in two hours.”</p>
<p>Now - at least in my area - they are better about calling if they are running behind. But I just replaced my opthamologist because I would always schedule the first appointment of the day and he’d still keep me waiting in the exam room for 45 minutes. I’d just sit there fuming, imagining that he was in the office reading the Wall Street Journal while I was sitting in that chair waiting for him.</p>
<p>To sum up, much of my hostility comes from feeling disrespected over and over and over again.</p>
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