<p>Missypie, I know that frustration, and different practices manage it differently. I remember 3 hours for the esteemed specialist at a local medical center years ago with my 3 under age 5. Clinics are realizing this is a major patient dissatisfier and in my area, working to amend the problem. </p>
<p>But I’ve also been on the other end, watching the physicians in the hospital with rising angst, trying to finish rounds to get back to the office, and human need being what it is, a difficult proposition. Appointments are scheduled before hospital caseload is known. This also is being scheduled differently these days, though not always.</p>
<p>As a male, I do not understand that kind of behavior. I’m using the outstanding benefits of my university (salaries suck) to get myself into shape for the rest of my life so when I finally retire from my retirement job I’ll be able to enjoy myself without worrying about my health collapsing on me. So far I have had a cornea transplant, a cyst removed, a colonoscopy, and five physicals. All free. At the doctor’s recommendation I take fish oil, vitamin D, and aspirin. I am getting my teeth fixed, and paying for most of that myself. I also had some cosmetic work done at my expense on something that I hated my whole adult life.</p>
<p>OP,
I understand your friends’ H. I am in the same position, and I am much older. I do not go to the doctors, except for dentist, I have exceptionally bad teeth and I was able to keep majority of them. However, I my position is very different from his. I measure my blood pressure, blood sugar, weight, height, cholesterol on a very regular basis. I am taking first 3 measurements on a daily basis (I am not a diabetic, but we have a prickly thing at home), height measurement is important to know if you have osteporosis, and cholesterol I measure once a year along with other important blood stats - my company is doing it at the office and actually paying us $$ for participation. Sometime (very rarely, once in 5 - 7 years) I go to chiro to fix my back/neck. But he taught me so many tricks to make me feel better, that I usually improve on my own. To add to that, I am exercising 2 hours every day and I am within normal weight for my height. So, not going to a doctor is one thing, but completely neglecting your health is a different thing. I do not think that I belong in a second category, but it sounds like your friends H. does.</p>
<p>Have a good friend who deals with this with her husband.</p>
<p>She says when the time is approaching for him to get a checkup, she starts mentioning it casually. Then later becomes more insistent. She knows that in order to actually get him to the doctor, however, it always requires an “event,” meaning a spat/loud words with threats. She says it is a PITA, but worth it to keep him healthy.</p>
<p>Bingo, laketime!!! Insist on the big life insurance policy and he’ll have to have at least a cursory physical. Then again, they might find he has HTN or high cholesterol or something, and refuse to cover him. But then maybe, maybe he’ll get treatment for his HTN. Nahh… he’s a man. He’ll avoid the dr.</p>
<p>I’m also married to a health professional who does not seem to think that doctor visits are necessary or even useful for healthy people. I think he’s seen enough to know that there are limits to what doctors can do for most people. Interesting how many medical professionals avoid going to the doctor themselves. Our kids were always behind on their vaccinations.</p>
<p>I had a college intern living here one Winter Term who told me her Dad was of this same school. He’d never gone to a doctor and refused to, by philosophy. She looked so worried and helpless as she talked about this. I felt so badly for her. She took it to mean he didn’t care about her enough to take reasonable steps to be around to see her brother and herself mature to full adulthood. I think I asked her if she ever told him how she felt, and as I recall she said she tried but it didn’t change his mind. SO sad – for her.</p>
<p>My father, who just turned 80 this summer, didn’t see a doctor or dentist for many, many years. Finally one of his front teeth just fell out because it had been injured when he was a child and I’m guessing that the root died. Rather than look ridiculous, he went to the dentist and fortunately he had a good experience there. A few years later, he was feeling poorly but just muddled along until he passed out on the floor at his volunteer job. He was taken away in an ambulance and diagnosed with congestive heart failure, early stage diabetes, etc. He ended up with an internist and a cardiologist who he really likes and trusts. He had a pacemaker installed and takes numerous prescriptions, has lost some weight and exercises at the YMCA. He’s even scheduled for a hip replacement in November although we’re all holding our breath hoping he doesn’t chicken out. The trick for him, it seems, is that he has responded well to doctors who seem to really care about him. He has specifically mentioned the amount of time his cardiologist spent with him at each appointment. The sense I get is that he’s enormously relieved to have dealt with his issues. My point in telling you all this is that people can change. And I agree with paying3tuitions that it hurt us as his children to think he didn’t care about sticking around or even being healthy enough to do things with us. We are all so much happier now. He said that his 80th birthday party was the happiest day of his life.</p>
<p>When you are a caring, hard working hospital employee who works your tail off to provide good care, having to deal with an unearned hostility is also very frustrating. I hope you are able to judge each medical professional with whom you come into contact on the basis of their actual performance rather than on impressions of unrelated people and events from your past. While there are some bad apples in the profession for sure, many of us put everything we have into being the best caretakers we can be.</p>
<p>I am aware when I take care of a patient that I can make their stay absolutely miserable or I can make a very positive impact on them during a very trying event of their life. I’ve had both kinds of nurses, and I vowed to never be that horrible sadist who kicks someone when they are absolutely down. I had a nurse like that once; the next night I had a nurse who was an absolute angel, and that 's the nurse I strive to be for every patient.</p>
<p>Yay Nrd. It is scary the difference that can be made in one’s hospital experience by the attitude and demeanor of the nurse; I suppose it is because you are not feeling up to par and often not thinking clearly, yet still know inside what you really want.</p>
<p>Good for you for keeping the great attitude</p>
<p>jym, DH had his insurance physical when he was 30. He’s now 49. I don’t like being told I’ll be a wealthy widow. My kids don’t like the idea of possibly losing two parents far too young.</p>
<p>Totally agree with you, CD, especially with what you hae been through. Wish those who refuse to go to the Dr would consider how selfish their decision is. ANd sorry to disappoint them ,but they are not invincible. Ignorance is NOT bliss.</p>
<p>I have a friend whose DH was a physician in his 40’s. He was feeling a bit under the weather and mentioned it in passing to a buddy of his when they were both in the ER seeing patients. The buddy offered to take a look at him. Nah… he passed on the offer, because he figured he’d be fine, and it was the day before Thanksgiving. He had a massive MI the next day and dropped dead in front of his wife and young (very young-- elementary school-aged) children. True story.</p>
<p>The real problem is that with all the drug kickbacks MDS get from pharm companies to prescribe certain drugs or use certain medical devices, and the ownership of medical machinery by MDs who can create demand for its usage, a layman cannot trust his average MD to be objective and in his corner.</p>
<p>Where you been vienna man? Rules/regulations have tightened on big Pharma. They hardly hand out more then an occasional pen or post it note pad these days…</p>
<p>The only hospitals stays I’ve had as an adult have been when I was giving birth and the nurses were fabulous. Giving birth was the exception to my hostility - when you’ve got an 11 lb baby inside you, anyone who helps get that ship out of the bottle is an angel.</p>
<p>I really have no problem with medical personnel who treat me for an actual illness or condition…but to wait hour after hour for an annual exam or a routine test is infuriating.</p>
<p>The only thing I see happening is that some companies, notably Medtronic, now publish quarterly lists of their largest MD payments. So yes there has been some improvement.</p>
<p>“The real problem is that with all the drug kickbacks MDS get from pharm companies to prescribe certain drugs …”</p>
<p>Please… “THE” real problem? I haven’t gotten so much as a PEN in two years…And even in exchange for the privilege of free pens, free samples for patients where the “kickback”. And at least in California, doc’s cannot own or refer to “machinery”.</p>
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