Hugs to you @fullmom. Making this kind of decision/transition is always tough, but there are more factors involved during this Covid crisis. I am glad you started this thread - Thank You.
It is possible my mother (turned 89 yesterday) will need AL or nursing home soon. Her heart is getting weaker, and as she’s always warned us… she does not want a lot of end-of-life medical interactions. A few weeks ago we did talk her into oxygen and lasix diuretic (but she only will take half does due to weariness… which I think would happen either way but can’t yet convince her). She has always been sharp and organized and independent, but in last weeks I visit every day. I am the only local relative. Sister is 1200 miles away, with health conditions that make travel more risky with Covid -mom insists she not risk it.
Mom downsized decades ago and has a 600 square foot apartment 3 mile from me. Although she lives in low income housing, she does have some assets (which get reviewed annually… withdrawals are considered “income”). The good thing is there is a pull-cord in bedroom and in bathroom to allow her to call on-site manager. Also she wears a device around her neck that can call me (then others… and eventually 911 if nobody answers0 .
She also has LTC insurance. She does not meet any of the 6 criteria (you need 2) to qualify for coverage - that is a blessing that we so far don’t need more help. We both know that she may decine. Per some initial calls, I think her LTC would provide up to $200/day for home care or facility, no waiting period.
I’ll be watching this thread. Last week mom mentioned the need for me to start researching nursing homes. However the doctor thinks she might only have weeks or months to live, so that means with Covid I might never see her again. She seems at peace with the nearing end, but I am not ready, especially if I can’t be with her. I will be looking into home care services soon.