One of my dear friends started to show signs of dementia at age 70. Family history of both Alzheimer’s and Lewy Body’s. After, a horrendous year of her calling the police over 120 times for imaginary issues, being outside in near feeezinf weather without shoes or coat, and other unsafe/nonsensical Events, her daughter tried to get guardianship … and lost, even though she is an excellent attorney. It’s very difficult to get guardianship if the person fights it, and it can be a demeaning, hurtful process. Some of the fall out consequences are permanent. First thing my friend did was cut her daughter out of her will and out of her life, to ever have any control over her. Sometimes enabling is the lesser harm.
Sometimes, a nursing home is the lesser harm. If there is no one who can help care for someone who cannot care for self, what to do? I know several situations that are moving rapidly that way.
I’m thinking about my own future and how to put things into place so as not to leave dilemmas for my children , and yet be in the best place for me. I don’t know what the best answers are. My experience with MIL in top of the line places, left me horrified at what the care is when they think you aren’t watching and the person is no longer aware.