@fullmom I would try to separate your own emotions from those of your mother’s. And maybe change the terminology in your head. I don’t think of assisted living as “going into care.” They are tenants, not patients, and their tenancy includes availability of help.
My mother calls to ask to leave, because of the COVID rules she does not understand. I tell her that I am looking. Then she brings it up again in a couple of days and I say the same thing.
There have been times when I did consider it. But the camaraderie of having other residents, the interactions with staff, the elevator that gives freedom to move around in space, and in her case, the puzzle room and garden patio, all make for a pleasant experience overall.
There are also days, even with COVID, when she says how happy she is to be there, and before COVID that was always the case.
The interactions and care level are different in memory care but it sounds very possible that your mom can go into AL.
I have spent a lot of time at my mother’s facility. I forget that people are really old and it doesn’t feel to me that they are waiting to die. Even those who are confused, are trying to have a good day every day.
I would really try to think about this differently. Our local elder care office has social workers to talk to and sometimes a counselor can help for a short term issue like this.
You are doing the right thing.