<p>I don’t mean to be rude here and I reread your original post twice. This other parent showed obvious dismay that your sons were going to the same school, she didn’t want them to room together and was not happy that they are neighbors.</p>
<p>I don’t think she wants to be friends with you. You don’t want to be friends with her either so I don’t think you have a problem. I get that she asks you for the occasional favor. Say no to every request, simply and politely, and the requests will stop. Let your son’s friendship play out on its own.</p>
<p>Everyone seems to generally agree and you have a lot of good advice. I do understand trying to locate a college child after a couple of weeks of no response- did it once myself to be reassured son was alive and well. But- it is NOT YOUR job, he has an RA the mother can contact. </p>
<p>I agree with ignoring the mother. Not responding to her calls when it doesn’t suit you… Regarding rides- sometimes it seems good of you to just give them if you are not going out of your way and have room. Given the lack of niceness I would never alter my date or time of travel to suit the friend, but wouldn’t make his parents do the same round trip at the same time. We often gave rides to son and a couple of his HS friends- they always seemed more polite to us than our son was. Their parents never gave rides- but in talking to them I think we were the better/faster drivers (one described his mother as slow and tight two-handed grip on the steering wheel- not comfortable with highways) and as I told the one set of parents, our son spent so much time at their house in HS it seemed fair payment to do this (plus rides he got from their sons in HS). Thank goodness it was cold the December I had 3 sets of dirty laundry in the back of the suv…</p>
<p>You only have to worry if the two sons choose to room together next year… But even then, it is their life, not yours.</p>
<p>I agree with lollolu as well. I can’t think of any reason to be deliberately abrupt, overly direct or hurtful in this case when as far as we can tell at this point, diplomatic will accomplish the same exact thing. We also don’t know why the other mother was against the boys going to the same school and what she said that was hurtful. For all we know, she may have wanted her S to have the chance to meet new people and was afraid that the OP’s son being there might be too much of a security blanket for him. It may have been nothing against the OP or her son.</p>
<p>^^^Pea, you are right on. She doesn’t want to be my friend. I get that. That’s not the problem. I don’t want or need her to be my friend.</p>
<p>As for rides, that’s never a problem for me. I have never opted for the carpool situation as my son was involved in many EC and I enjoyed the time together during our drive. I am probably as close as I am to my son’s two best friends because we spent many times in the car together after school. </p>
<p>The mom has never asked us to bring her son to and from college. She found another local boy who attends the school to do that already. </p>
<p>The phone call situation occurred because she only skypes with her son, as they have a pay as you go phone plan, and she did not want the expense of minutes or texting. </p>
<p>I get where GTalum is coming from. With no land lines in the dorm, and I’ve never asked son’s suitemates (or their parents) for their number, when I got a call from her, I was worried it may be about my son needing help. Silly me. She was just asking for a favor! Why else would she call?</p>
<p>I will take the advice to keep my distance. The in-law analogy is spot on. I will behave as a dutiful daughter-in-law should, for my son’s sake, and only hope that as the boys get older, my contact with this woman will be less and less.</p>
<p>I totally forgot to mention, montegut, that my s said that commonly it is after next year’s rooming situation is established that the kids then coordinate the summer storage facility rental. They tend to rent a place with someone they are living with or living near.</p>
<p>Apologies, montegut- I believe you live in the city where my son attends school, but your son is at a diifferent university. Advice is similar thoughh-- let the kids work the storage stuff out themselves. Parents can stay out of this one.</p>
<p>I agree with the posters who suggested you getting out of the middle and letting the kids work things out between the two of them. I would have loved for my son to rent a storage unit instead of schlepping his stuff back and forth, but I would not have been the one schlepping anyway. My daughter, who went to school 17 hours away, figured out all of her rides to and from college after the first break. At her school, cars were allowed from freshman year and I never heard of parents doing any of the shuttling after move-in. </p>
<p>I would just present myself as the unknowing parent. “A storage area? That’s up to Myson. If Yourson want’s to share one, he’ll have to talk to Myson about it.”</p>
<p>ok- Im going to play devil’s advocate here. I also read your original post a couple of times. I am not quite sure what you are dismayed about. (I also mean this politely)Did this woman do something terrible that you are hinting at, (i.e. is there some back story?) or did you take it personally that she didnt want her kid to go to the same school as your kid? There are some ok reason’s for this. My son’s two best friends from HS go to college in the same city as he does. I remember having a moment of feeling like this wasnt necessarily the best thing, since I thought it would hinder growth. Turns out that was an ill conceived notion on my part, and they have all been very supportive. Is it possible that this woman is an ok person, but just not the best communicator, or comes across more rude than she is. I have sons-friends-moms like that. I try to keep my heart open because they are part of the community of my kids life (like the dutiful inlaw sentiment mentioned above.)</p>