Advice on false accusations? Or maybe I need advice in general.

<p>So currently, I’m a College Junior (with Super senior credits) and I plan to graduate by 2014. However, a very pressing issue is developing when it comes to these twins I used to be friends with. Two years ago, I befriended a pair of twins who seemed nice enough, even on the more timid side, but as we got to know them better we realised that they weren’t as true as they placed themself out to be. Because these twins didn’t get along with their other quadmates, my current roommate and I decided to live in a quad with these twins because they also didn’t get along sharing a room together. To the point where they couldn’t stand eachother and constantly fight. However, as the semester was ending Twin B (who I’d be rooming with) had been spreading rumors about me and badmouthing me, and I for a while I even believed that I was as bad as she described me. I was such a good friend to her that I used to walk her to her dorm all the way across campus, in winter, at 4am because she didn’t feel “safe”. Within the last week of school, in the middle of club event that we were both at she broke down saying she was suicidal and that I made everyone hate her, even though there wasn’t anything prior that I really had done (she just had really bad attitude to our friends a few days ago), she was being overdramatic and not even the boy she liked paid no mind to her high pitched wailing. But we didn’t talk for the rest of the semester and I was worried about what would play out next year when I’d be living with her.
Now next year, she acts as if nothing happened and the whole first semester is OKAY. But over time little quirks work on eachother, so it got to the point where a lot of tension had built up in the quad, and my best friend and I figured we should hold a “family meeting” with our also affected friends to square things out. At last minute Twin B made a rule saying no boyfriends could be part of the meeting though (Because she knows her bf would be mad if he found out how she talked about him). Anyway, it seemingly goes well, she made up a lot of obvious lies about her actions, but I dismissed it assuming this bull would be over. It just ended making it worse though, because she immediately ran to her boyfriend crying saying I turned all my friends against her and that I made her suicidal again. But I just kinda moved on, did my thing and laughed with my friends. For the remainder of the semester though, I wouldn’t talk to Twin B, treated her respectfully, and would keep away from keeping the situation as awkward as possible. It was almost irrational about how concious I was about “behaving” for this girl. But because nothing bad was happening to me, she began running around to mutual acquaintances and having long walks with them about how cruel I had been to her, and how I did such terrible things to her and threatened her sister (Twin A and I didn’t really talk so she didn’t like me either). I started noticing less and less people really hanging out with me but it’s just a small thorn in my side.
One night, while she was at work (until 2am) I texted her saying I needed the room. She threatened me saying she was going to report me to the RA if I didn’t ask her nicely, but I never wrote back. The next day, a full bottle of my favorite body spray in the common room went missing and I never found it, and the TV cable was ripped out of the wall (it was my TV and cable). I didn’t report the stolen items because I didn’t want the situation getting out of hand again, and for a while I tried convincing myself that I had lost my body spray. But on the last day of school/move out day, I get a long text from my good roommate about how Twin B was yelling at her for using her and her sister’s swiffer (even though Twin A let her) and reported my roommate and I to the RA for stealing. I never touched the swiffer and in a panic my other roommate admitted she used it (but it was taken as if she stole the swiffer). My roommate was instantly put on probation, and nothing happened to me. When my parents came to pick me up from school, Twin B instantly ran out of the room while my parents were joking with my boyfriend. I didn’t pay much mind to it, but two hours later, on the road home (I was driving). I got a phone call from UPD saying that Twin A and B filed a no contact report on me for harassment and threatening their safety. I wasn’t even there when the call was reported and now if I come into any contact (direct or indirect) I’d be arrested on the spot. I’m mostly mad and confused because it was exactly like what happened the year before and this big issue exploded from nothing. But I don’t even know what to do. I wasn’t anywhere in the area and there was no proof of anything. In fact, these girls are more dangerous than I am because they carry multiple knives on them on campus, and even threaten people with them! And I know they’re going to try to bully me with this no contact charge because we have mutual friend groups that I hang out with the most. This is my last year at college, and this can really set me back if things get out of hand or I get caught in a trap or kicked out of school. I don’t know what can be done if I want to be able to get around campus comfortably, I don’t want to live in fear with their manipulative powers. </p>

<pre><code> I’m sorry this is so long and dramatic, but it really bothers me that they’d get the police involved. And I feel like UPD not giving me a chance to speak for myself is discrimination against me. I have never been arrested, had any involement in any crimes. This is the first interaction I’ve ever had with any kind of federal authority.
</code></pre>

<p>There is some serious lack of reasonableness on the part of the administration.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Swiffer
If your friend admitted using the swiffer because Twin A allowed her, I don’t understand why your friend was put on probation. Maybe she admitted using it without permission but then that’s not stealing. I think your friend would still be entitled to a hearing if she was facing probation. Maybe this “probation” is just regarding residency policies, more like a warning that future violations could have more serious consequences.</p></li>
<li><p>I have no idea how a TRO issued by UPD Is supposed to work on campus. Hopefully this is just a university thing and you can talk to Dean of Student Affairs about how to comply. Perhaps you should file your own TRO against the twins. </p></li>
</ol>

<p>Avoiding these toxic twins seems like a good idea all around. Find out your rights and responsibilities regarding the TRO and your right to be on campus. Follow the advice of The Dean of Students. Avoid the he said/she said and try to enjoy the company of the friends who remain loyal to you. Move on, forget the others.</p>

<p>Thank goodness you didn’t invent facebook.</p>

<p>Wow, I didn’t realise the wall of solid text >< Sorry!</p>

<p>But thank you for the responses, I will see if there’s anything I can actually protect myself with this coming semester, and then I can properly reason with the charges and UPD. My roommate is still hazy on how this probation will affect her, but hopefully it’s not serious. I’m real grateful for your answer :)</p>

<p>Please just stay away from these people, and don’t give me that “but we have mutual friends” bs. These twins have serious problems and unless you want this on your record, I suggest you keep out of their way and keep out of the way of anyone who hangs out with them. You can always make new friends, but you can’t take an arrest of your criminal record (frankly, the way you sound to be justifying why you’ve hung out with them and what they’re doing sounds like high school level immaturity, this is not the way adults handle situations). If this gets really out of hand, you can always counter-sue, but IMO, that’s going to far because you can handle this just by staying away from it.</p>

<p>The only reason why I brought up mutual friends is because these are friends who want to be close to both of us, and that includes my boyfriend’s friend groups. And I’m not going to let these girls ruin what I have left with my college life, if they try to bully me out of hanging out with the people that really are my friends. Granted, I’m not going to test the waters and I’m very aware of the level of immaturity they’ve expressed. Honestly, I’ve been as mature as I can with this situation and overall my personal character is rather independent and mature, so I am rather concerned about the rationale on how to really deal with this situation. But I do see where you’re coming from and perhaps it’s just better to let people come to me if they really want to hang out, rather than always risk getting in trouble.</p>

<p>First, I am sorry that you have to deal with this, I can definitely see where you can become stressed from having to deal with this.</p>

<p>Second, I say immediately invest in pepperspray…it’s the only thing I can think of that can help you defend yourself that is not a weapon (that could really make things look bad if something did happen even if it was self-defense) in case one of these twins tried to start something so you could get arrested.</p>

<p>Next, about this no-contact order…a no contact order, from my knowledge, has to be issued by a judge and a letter has to be served to the person (you) that informs you of this and your right to appeal. If you never received anything, I question if this was even a legitimate phone call or if the no contact order is just something through your school.
I think you should figure out through what agency this order was made, and then appeal it explaining the circumstances. I am pretty sure a judge has to sign one…so see if you can call back and figure out this, I wouldn’t not expect them to “prank call” you to set this up.</p>

<p>And just explain to all of your friends what happened, and this no contact order and tell them you won’t be around them. Sure, this may separate the group and make them even more unstable…but they are your friends too, make sure you stand your ground.</p>

<p>As UPD contacted me, they insisted that this was a no-contact order. But I never did get served any papers, and the university is in such a rural location that I can’t imagine where they got such an immediate approval from a judge (at most 2 hours after the police were contacted). So you’re probably right that there’s no legal order that can actually be violated outside of campus, but that probably mean the school sets it’s own standards of what “no-contact” entails. </p>

<p>I’m really thankful for all you supportive members :slight_smile: It really does calm me down and allow me to view this dilemma from a distance. And actually come to a much safer and maybe even quicker solution. For the most part I’ll just keep to myself as I’ve been doing, but at least I know that the reality of this no-contact order by legal definition does not exist. Good thing I’m taking Business Law this year! :P</p>

<p>Find a lawyer.</p>