<p>Hi there, thought I’de try and post a post to see if this has come up for anyone and how to dealt with it. Our oldest 2 are away at university/college and our youngest (15) is home on her own now with boring mom and dad.<br>
Since the 2 oldest have left, the energy level around here has dropped considerably. She spends alot of time in her room (although she has always done that) listening to music and reading…but I can tell she is missing her family alot.<br>
When our son first left, it was sad for a bit, but she had her sister, and life carried on as usual at home for us. Now that she is on her own with us, it’s almost like it’s awkward between us 3…I almost get the feeling that she feels she is now in the way, esp when my husband and I are both home.
This is farther from the truth, as now I feel I have time for just her (although I do work full time and she has school, work PT and a yoga class she goes to)…
I’m thinking this is all transition, but I would really appreciate hearing from parents who have gone through this, and helpful ideas. Thanks</p>
<p>Our D was afraid that when her older brother went to college, that DH and I would become even more stalker-parents (her term) than we already were. But as it turns out, she likes the attention and having her parents all to herself. </p>
<p>Maybe the dynamic is different with 3 kids then with 2. I suspect it’s an adjustment period for all of you. How was her relationship with you and your husband when her siblings were still home? Did she tend to hide in the background?</p>
<p>Encourage her to invite friends over. Have your house be the Halloween party house or the New Year’s Eve party house for her group of friends. Plan individual time with your daughter in advance, and have your husband do the same. Pretty soon she will be driving ( you didn’t say how old she is) and your worries will shift quite a bit.</p>
<p>We experienced what you are feeling with when our daughter went to college, even though we only have two kids. Our son was always the quieter one, and it seemed like most of the energy went out of the house when DD left. What happened sort of surprised us. He had friends over a* lot more* often, and our house became the before Prom place to be and the place his group landed on Saturday night if the party they had been to earlier started to get out of hand. He also seemed to blossom at school, being out from under sister’s rather large shadow. By the time he graduated, he had become quite a presence on campus in his own right.
It may not seem like it now, but this is an opportunity for your daughter to be the “only” child, with all the pluses that entails. You can help her use this time to develop her own strenghts and become her own person.</p>
<p>Off topic … Cronie!!! How often do you post anyhow? LOL
(on my computer it says more than 4 billion times…</p>
<p>My only kid at home spends a lot of time alone in his room, but we’ve also found that when he does talk to us, he’s gotten to be a lot of fun. We talk more about things that interest him. He and his father share similar taste in music (metal bands from Finland) and he likes history and is always willing to talk about what he’s doing in school in that class. While no political junkie he made a point of watching the debates with us. We’ve also been clear that his friends are free to come here - though our house is not set up terribly well for hordes of teens. (TV in the living room, pretty crummy basement, no big family room.)</p>
<p>off topic… Cronie? what’s with the post count? ha ha</p>
<p>There’s a bunch of people like Cronie who got their post count bumped up by a glitch a few weeks ago. I think it’s 2^something computer significant.</p>
<p>2^32= 4 294 967 296
Cronie’s post count now is 2^32 - 2
And I thought I was posting often…</p>
<p>Hee hee. One poster pm’d me and asked, “Don’t you have anything better to do all day.” :)</p>
<p>I guess I’ll never know how many posts I actually have. Ah, well.</p>
<p>We are in the same position as you and youngest is the same age too…except she’s a girl. I know it felt awkward when we got back from dropping the other two off and it’s like a tomb in our house too but I don’t know if she feels it as much as I feel it. I think I am projecting my loneliness on to her; she still has all her friends. I am the one who needs to get a life!</p>
<p>Our youngest of three was an “only” for four years. I had worried about it a bit but, although she missed her sisters some, I do think it was good for all of us. She spent a lot of time in her room with the door closed but she also talked more over the dinner table. And, to my great joy, she developed an interest in cooking and made her share of dinners. One really great thing we were able to do was to take a great trip over her two week Easter vacation in her sophomore year - just the three of us. We knew we’d have to look at colleges junior year and perhaps take a final choice trip senior year. It was a great bonding trip, especially for her and her dad as he travels a lot for work and has always seen less of the kids than I did. We also made a point of going to lots of concerts and musicals during her high school years as she is a singer. I really enjoyed being able to focus on her for the first time since she was born. I miss her very much now.</p>
<p>I was a youngest left alone with mom and Dad by the age of 10, it was boring compared to the excitement of all the “big kids” being home, but my parents and I developed an incredibly close wonderful relationship that continues to this day- no teen angst at all.</p>
<p>MY youngest was definitely having to adjust to the departure of first one then the other big sis, each of whom was a whirlwind of activity and attitude and each of whom could command the attention of all around her- for better and for worse. Littlest DD did tend to hand at the homes of friends with younger sibs, immersing herself in all that activity, but she also liked time alone to read, paint, write poetry, etc. She enjoyed many adult activities with us and I think the time alone was good for her, with both mom & dad focused on her and her needs and able to just enjoy each other.</p>
<p>MY D3 took over some cooking projects, too, she really enjoyed them and makes some wicked good meals, her sisters now call her for advice, she bakes, too :)</p>