<p>My daughter is a few weeks into a co-op job and is having difficulty communicating with her boss. She asked me for advice so I am taking it to the CC experts.</p>
<p>She says that they sit together and go over what she is supposed to do (this is not an operations type job so that each task she gets is “unique”). She even repeats to him the instructions he gives her before leaving to do the work. She then spends several hours working on the task. When she is done and returns with the completed work he tells her that it was not what he wanted her to do. She is not sure if he is changing his mind or she is simply misunderstanding him (or maybe some combination). She is getting frustrated and feeling stupid. </p>
<p>My suggestion to her was to write down with him what he wants her to do. I also think that any work relationship takes time to develop and that with time they will get in synch (hard to convince a kid who is in her first real office job and therefore lacks self-confidence)</p>
<p>I agree with the writing it down as they go over it, then perhaps ask him to review what was written with maybe, " have I missed anything" and then he can clarify if she missed a point. Some people are just bad communicators. Also if he is using terms she is not familiar with she needs to have him elaborate IF that is the case. I am not sure if she should go in there half way through and say something like, just wanted to check if this is the way you want me to go on this, but actually some bosses don’t like that. How is he otherwise? Patient, kind, distant–does he seem put out?</p>
<p>Some people don’t know what they want until they see it. </p>
<p>They may give you instructions, and you may follow them, but when the product is completed, they suddenly realize that something else would have been preferable.</p>
<p>I’m a writer, and I work with a graphic designer, and both of us see this all the time. The people who give us assignments think they know what they want but can’t make good judgments until they see a draft version of the product. Once they have a draft in hand, they can work with us effectively.</p>
<p>As long as everyone understands that developing a product is an iterative process, I don’t have a problem with it.</p>
<p>I had a boss like this, and writing it down was the only solution. She can put it on herself, “I just want to make sure I understand what the task is.” Somebody like this will never admit that he moved the goal posts.</p>
<p>If it’s somebody like Marian indicates, then that person won’t criticize her for not doing what was expected. It doesn’t sound to me like this is the situation.</p>
<p>And some bosses are a mess. Some make the morphs Marian mentions seem like the employee’s fault, when it’s just part of the process. Or some just use their power to run their people in circles. Sometimes, I found it helpful to privately talk with a co-worker, see if he/she gets the same runaround and/or what seems to work better. </p>
<p>Somehow, gently, you may need to see if D really is misunderstanding, jumping to conclusions about what the tasks entail, or proceeding in ways that make sense to her but just aren’t standard in this operation. </p>
<p>If you feel it’s the boss (gawd, how many times I went through this with one of them,) her self-esteem and sense of control going forward may need a job change. Good luck.</p>
<p>I believe the boss I had who did this really didn’t remember that he had given different instructions. When there was a written memo, the problem didn’t occur. It’s worth a try, anyway.</p>
<p>I have a boss like this. He is the type that doesn’t know what he wants until he sees it. He will ask for something very specific and then say it isn’t what he wants. And he’s very intimidating. Now that I’ve worked for him for a few years we can laugh about it, he’ll come to me and say, “I need something!” And I might say, “Oh really? Do you have any idea what or do you need to think about it more?” and you can see him stop and think and sometimes he’s like “uhhh… actually let me get back to you!” Or he’ll tell me what he wants and I’ll say, “and you’re sure?” and he’ll usually say yes but now that we laugh about it the pressure is off… it took time get to know him and to build enough of a relationship that we could joke about it, but in the beginning it was tense. It happens less often now but in the beginning I just got used to doing his assignments two or three times until I got it to where he wanted.</p>
<p>She should try her best to honestly assess whether he is upset with her when the instructions change, or if he is just changing the instructions and she is getting upset with herself. If it’s the latter situation, it might just be a matter of getting used to this guy’s workign style and she will probably feel better about it when she gets to know him better, if it’s the former she will need to employ some strategies to improve communication.</p>
<p>It’s hard sometimes, my very first boss at my first part-time job was one who changed his mind all the time and blamed me for not being able to read it. Ultimately I had to find another job.</p>
<p>I have a supervisor that’s a lot like this, but it’s usually adding on tasks for us to do after the fact without bothering to tell anyone to do it. I know she doesn’t mean anything by it–she just tends to be a little scattered. I think it would be really helpful for her to ask a co-worker (without making waves, of course) if they are having the same sort of communication problems with this boss. Even if they don’t have any good suggestions for her, it can help to know that it’s not just her, but that several people who work with this boss have this problem. It can be hard not to take things like this personally, or get frustrated that you’re seemingly blamed for not doing something you didn’t know you were supposed to do. Talking to someone else in the same boat (or who was in the same boat) can help her not feel like it’s something that’s deficient about her or her work, and they may be able to tell her what works for them. And if she finds out that no one has these problems with her boss, then maybe they can help her figure out why her work isn’t on par with what her boss wants. They might be able to give her tips about the kinds of things that her boss likes and the kinds of things he doesn’t like.</p>
<p>The only way I know of to deal with a supervisor like this is to write down what they want when they’re telling you, and then confirm it with them after the meeting by showing them what you’ve written down. A simple “This is my understanding of what I need to get done. Do you mind looking it over to make sure we’re on the same page?” should be fine. That way when they tell her that it’s not what they wanted, she can show them the paper (not in an accusatory way, but just a general, sorry, this is what I took from our meeting). It’s harder for bosses to argue with something like that.</p>
<p>I agree with others, I would tell her to take notes of what he said, put it together as an ‘action plan’, and have him look at it and make sure it is what he wants. It could be the boss knows this stuff so well that it doesn’t dawn on him he is dealing with someone who doesn’t know what he does, and assumes things that aren’t there, or throws out ideas and doesn’t realize he may not even be saying what he means to say…person could either be the pointy headed boss on Dilbert, or a genius, and both can be pains in the butt…</p>
<p>By taking notes and putting together a plan, she can make sure it is what he wants and he can make sure it is what he wants, too, a win-win:)</p>