<p>Last August my daughter, Joan, found a place to rent followed by Roommate 1 (they have a common friend) and they Roommate 2 who turned out to be the best friend of 1. With three college aged girls it became obvious rather quickly that my daughter was a third wheel. She hasn’t been able to do anything right. The two roommates would write notes to each other without directly talking to Joan notes such as “dont like that tea kettle need a pretty blue one” (tea kettle was Joan’s) or when she asked about getting a shower curtain they said sure. She bought two to choose from and again not telling her directly wrote "need to get new shower curtain one that is cotton and not a cancer causing plastic. And so it goes. In November there was a guest at the apartment who wanted to have a smoke. Since it was nasty out she let him go to her room and open the window. She told him not to smoke right in the room and lean out as she doesn’t like the odor. Well, he did smoke - a joint. Next day the roommates went to the apartment manager and later that day a note addressed to all of them was posted on the door. Joan went to the apartment manager and told her what had happened. Manager was not at all concerned and said she just had to follow up with the note and thanked my daughter for having the courage to speak with her directly. Apartment manager has on numerous occassions spoken with Joan about the roommates telling her that Roommate 1 has been rude to other tenants and to her, etc. Now 7 1/2 months into lease roommates have preleased another apt in buiding for the next school year. On Friday Roommate 1 let Joan know she was going to show her friends the apartment. One of them knowing Joan sent her a text asking if she was going to live there next year. Joan replied that she had spoken with the landlord about it and was planning on it, but would let her know if things changed. Four hours later the landlord sent my daughter an email advising her she would not renew her lease in August as she had violated her lease in regards to illegal substances. Three weeks ago she was telling her that she wanted her stay and would even reduce the rent until she found the perfect roommates. My daughter has paid her rent early, is seldom there as she works, goes to class and is out of town every other weekend. There are not parties in the apartment and aside from the error in judgement with the guest smoking there has not been problem. Roommates are clearly working the angles to get thier friends into the apartment. This is such a turnabout for the landlord she has always been so nice and concerned for my daughter. The apartment is now such a hostile place for Joan to be - she has had money missing, personal items used and her food being eaten. She continues to walk in the door and say hello by name to the roommates, but Roommate 1 always walks out of the room. We will review options for her moving out early and she has an appointment with the student legal advisores. I’m hoping for additional suggestions from you. I’ve been told that since the note re “drug use” i.e the isolated incident came addressed to all the girls that they are all in the same boat and if she won’t lease for one she can’t lease for all, is that correct? We are concerned that the one roommate may even try to do something to jeapordize my daughters scholarships. My daughter no longer wants to live in the same apt bldg next year, but we are trying to figure out how to handle this hostile stituation and it is all upsetting since she doesnt do drugs of any kind. She thought she did the right thing by addressing the smoking incident right off with the landlorrd. Joan never anticipated this situation as she has always gotten along with everyone. We’ve had exchange students and she’s been one, she was one of 11 in a house for 6 months last year, and lived with her freshman dormmate the remander of the time. Never thought her first incounter with “Mean Girls” would be at this age. By the way this is Roommate 1’s first time having a roommate(s). Thank you for reading and allowing me to vent. - Teaka123 - Mom to four.</p>
<p>it sounds like she needs to get away form these awful girls. I dont have any new strategies just wanted to say I am sorry this is happening.</p>
<p>You need to encourage her to find compatible housemates and move as soon as she can to that better place. The roommates aren’t necessarily evil incarnate, but clearly it is a very bad match for her.</p>
<p>Wishing her much success!</p>
<p>Your daughter needs to move on. She needs to find a place to live, and not look back. It is not relevant if the landlord rents to the “mean girls” next year. Some things you just have to walk away from. Meet you financial obligations with this facility and get your child in another, positive environment. Trying to “get them back” by insuring they can’t live there next year serves no purpose. Actually it can backfire and place them in the same building as your daughter again next year. Some things in life are just lesson. Nasty…yes. Lessons…yes. Worth getting crazy over…no.</p>
<p>My thanks to each of you for responding. We will be moving her out of the apartment this weekend. She will do a combination of commuting from home and staying with friends. She will room with friends she lived with her freshman year this fall. We do plan on asking to be released from the lease given it is a hostile environment (now even to the point that she has a gluten intolerance and is somewhat concerned her food might be tampered with - sigh), however if that does not work we will continue to make the monthly payments on time so as to keep her credit and honor in tack. Thank you again for your thoughtful words.</p>