<p>Hi! I’m going to be a freshman this year, and I need some advice. Throughout high school, I was incredibly hardworking and self-disciplined. I studied 24/7 and got results from it. Now that I’m going to college, I have read in many places that having this “rule-based” self-discipline has bad side effects. It kills creativity and makes ppl too cautious (I am always afraid of pushing boundaries in asking questions, because I think it might be “rude” or “inappropriate”). </p>
<p>So, how would you suggest I balance this hardworking asceticism and carefree, spontaneous “laziness” as some would call it? BTW, I’m aiming to go into a profession that demands both hard work and fantastic social skills/creativity.</p>
<p>Good question. You demonstrate a lot of self-knowledge.</p>
<p>You will probably continue to be hardworking and self-disciplined with your academics, but how about trying some extracurricular activities that allow your creative side to flourish? Try for some that will also help your “people-management” skills to develop and I think you’ll have a well-rounded college experience.</p>
<p>sorry, but i had something to add. i was wondering what the limits are to taking initiative. as i said earlier, i am somewhat reserved and don’t ask for things when i should. but many of my relatives (ie my parents) who are telling me to change are advising me to do things that i find absurd. for example, they tell me to go to a local leadership conference in my army uniform (rotc) and to go directly to invited speakers and ask them for internships. i seem to think this is pushing the boundaries just a bit. </p>
<p>how do i know when i go too far in “taking initiative” or “being assertive”? also, back to my original question, can i balance both a carefree personality and a dedicated attitude (to academics)? i don’t see how i can do both.</p>
<p>also, thanks for the practical advice above…i really appreciate your post.</p>
<p>also, my brother, who is the most popular person i know (his high school’s student body president as a JUNIOR, nominated for class favorite) seems very laid back. he doesn’t get the same grades i do, but he is well liked. it seems, at my house, that there is a scale of “popularity” and another inverted scale of “initiative” (as my parents like to call it). strangely enough, i don’t seem to be succeeding at either very much.</p>
<p>You will know you’re going too far by being very attentive to how the other person is reacting to you. Practice taking initiative and being assertive in small ways and see how it goes.</p>
<p>Being both carefree and dedicated is a challenge. But if you can compartmentalize it may be possible.</p>
<p>Before long you’ll find the style that suits you.</p>
<p>You don’t need me to tell you this, but you aren’t your brother. I don’t think you should change your personality to fit your family’s idea of what you should be. However, you might consider taking a public speaking course. Oftentimes young people are reluctant to speak up because they don’t have the tools that a good public speaking course can teach.</p>